SCP-7023 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-7023.

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Utylike 29 Jul 2022 13:40

It's been 4 years since I last entered a contest on the English Wiki. Hi! Maybe you've heard of me (probably not) I'm Uty, best known for my work as the Master Admin of the Czech SCP Branch but I also wrote a couple of SCPs on this site. First things first, a sincere thank you to everyone helping me with this last-minute idea for the contest. Second, assuming this doesn't win (doubt it will), my preferred spot would be either SCP-7010 or SCP-7023.

Let's hope this will be a contest worth remembering and I wish everyone the best of luck!

swordlover87 29 Jul 2022 23:33

+1

Wow, this idea’s creative! Nicely done with the worldbuilding and that mounting sense of dread throughout. The culminating log where the team disappears one by one is a very effective stinger.

Utylike 31 Jul 2022 14:32

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

#37, +0

Ralliston 30 Jul 2022 11:53

There is a lot to like here — the creative color-based execution of the multiverse concept and the initial hook are incredibly strong, but I think what follows is a little rough around the edges. The dialogue is, at parts, a little bit unnatural, and the ending is very predictable from the first moment the theory is brought up. I also think some of the things — such as the evil multiversal empire that destroys other realities — are a bit cliche. But, like I said, this isn't bad — I enjoyed the ride, but there are a few qualms that keep me from fully loving it. I might revisit it later on to see if I don't want to upvote — but I still do think it could use some polish.

Re: #37, +0

Utylike 31 Jul 2022 14:34

Thank you for sharing your opinion. I will admit that I am definitely out of practice and I am nowhere near perfection with this. Yeah, it might be a bit cliche and there may be some problems with it but overall I am at least happy with the fact that it is accepted.

Petrograd 31 Jul 2022 01:10

The ending feels like a bit of an anticlimax. I like the concepts around the universe-eating metic civilization and it was pretty clever having them use the weapon on themselves, but then it just kind of sputters out. I expected something more clever, like this being the reason there's only one Foundation, or an organized fight back with some clever twist or character motivation or something.

As it stands, it just feels like you didn't go far enough with the idea to really keep my interest. -1 for now.

Utylike 31 Jul 2022 14:38

You know, I understand it isn't everyone's cup of tea. And I am very glad the initial idea grabbed you. I suppose we simply disagree. I didn't want to drag the idea past the point where it felt like the story had been finished. I can see why it may feel like there is something missing but ultimately this is the way I want to end it. With an open ending. The threat isn't meant to be resolved by the end. Thank you for reading this anyway.

+1

GreenGolem 04 Aug 2022 19:52

I really like the unique idea of this memetic civilization, and most of the article felt really engaging and interesting.

My only problem would be that at some times, like the theory bits, it felts like a slower bog of jam-packed information, and wasn’t that interesting to go through.

Other than that, really good. +1.

---

Sincerely, a person who is definitely not a rock in disguise.

#60

DrScaramouche 09 Aug 2022 04:36

Heya! Long time no see!

Your dialogue has gotten better over the years, but could still use some polish in order to sound more natural. The bomb twist could use some buffering as well - its introduction is just a little too quick, and might be better with some subtle foreshadowing earlier on.

To be honest, I think the scp might work better without that final warning. Just have everyone sort of … poof, and that's all.

Good to see more of your writing!

-1

RadioactiveRADS 21 Aug 2022 02:23

I agree with Rall on the visual aspect of the article, its nice. The colors are a great way to distinguish from different universes (might use it one day). And the idea is interesting; however, the article tries to do too many things at the same time.

We get a multiversal anomaly, so we are introduced with the knowledge that the foundation has this technology, then we are introduced to council meaning they are used to this, then we get to some multiversal war which then leads into be about the memetic agent that turns people into religious zealots that want to convert or destroy anything that is not them.

I'm hit with so many ideas so quickly that I don't have time to fully digest them. the article doesn't really give these concepts the proper time to divulge in them and, in return, they feel a bit hollow.
This article needs a lot more focus in its ideas and concepts so it can get the attention to detail and focus it deserves.

The ending also felt lackluster, the way everything unfolded didn't feel real. Specifically at the part where she started crying and saying I'm sorry.

Maxyfran73 21 Aug 2022 21:08

Yeah, gotta agree that, while the idea is pretty solid, the execution leaves some to be desired. I think the dialogue, especially around the later bits is pretty rough; the MTF part and the last meeting were really not very good when it came down to dialogue. Furthermore, the final plot twist just feels very rushed. It happens, they sort of explain it, and then we have the last note that feels too… Nothing, I guess? It feels less focused and as an ending, you don't want that.

There's also the issue that 7000 didn't feel like he mattered to the story. It's a good hook, but I think the whole invader memetic agents were way more important than the 'guy who lived'. There is definitely a shift after their interrogation when it felt like they didn't matter anymore, which I didn't like because it feeds into that lack of focus I felt on the second half of the piece.

So yeah, it's a -1 from me. I think this article could use a more cohesive plot.

totallynotenby 22 Aug 2022 02:20

The idea was good. The dialouge and characterization were both lacking. The ending was spot on. That is all.
_-temmy

J S Writer 26 Aug 2022 05:52

• This has got to be inspired by Loki right? Regardless, the story about a mysterious anomalous threat that spans across universes is instantly intriguing.

• The process of adjusting my thinking to consider the multiversal implications of the eigenweapon and how luck plays a role in its activation was engaging in and of itself. The revelation that the Rea-Utis per were willing to use a weapon that would destroy an uncountable number of variants simply for a chance at multiversal dominance really characterizes them as overzealous (and insane) aggressors who would engage in such “scorched-earth” warfare.

• Even though I think the main conflict of the article arising from the discovery of the eigenweapon could have been expanded upon (at the very least, another SCP-7023 update could have been included that described the eigenweapon itself), the elements included in the article were stimulating to consider and so creative.

• Rating: +1

Last edited on 31 Aug 2022 19:52 by J S Writer Show more

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