SCP-7077 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-7077.

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Back-up entry in case 7K-J doesn't win

Elenee FishTruck 28 Jul 2022 00:05

SUPER SUPER SUPER THANKS TO DODODEVIL FOR BEING MY PARTNER IN CRIME. He wrote most of the logs and fleshed out the original idea I had for this, while I wrote the Description and revised some of the logs.

Further thanks to bigslothonmyface, LORDXVNV, JakdragonX, Fishish, TheyCallMeTim, and Ralliston for beta reads, and GremlinGroup for help finding images.

Probably my biggest article yet. I hope y'all enjoy.

Number Preference:

• Lowest number within 7000-7010. Barring that,
• 7070
• 7077
• 7700
• 7770
• 7707

Y'all should also read Tufto's entry to the contest: The Neon God. It's probably the best one.

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Last edited on 29 Jul 2022 12:04 by Elenee FishTruck Show more

Re: Back-up entry in case 7K-J doesn't win

DodoDevil 28 Jul 2022 00:34

In a labyrinth of the third type is a net… The main feature of a net is that every point can be connected with every other point, and, where the connections are not yet designed, they are, however, conceivable and designable. A net is an unlimited territory.

~ Umberto Eco, Semiotics and the Philosophy of Language.

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First of all, a huge thank you to all those who helped lend an eye to this piece, as mentioned above. But I can't write much more without thanking Elenee for inviting me to collab on this project. From their incredible initial idea to our final draft, it's been a wonderful writing experience. I really hope you all enjoy it.

If none of the 7XXX slots are available due to an excess of a thousand entries, we will also graciously accept SCP-8000, SCP-9999, or SCP-173.

I may add some comments on the theme later, if you're unlucky.

Last edited on 28 Jul 2022 04:14 by DodoDevil Show more

GremlinGroup 28 Jul 2022 01:20

This was filled with beautiful prose and some really stunning imagery. You had a tight grasp on the pacing and structure of the piece, letting the main character breathe when he needed to. I really enjoyed the surreal, free-wheeling tone as Howard is pulled from scene to scene. The cross-cutting device was a little jolting at first, and while I appreciate what it's trying to do, I feel I was caught up in keeping up with the two at once instead of appreciating one side/colour at a time. Not a big deal. Overall, I really really enjoyed this!

Elenee FishTruck 28 Jul 2022 03:11

I'm really glad you enjoyed it! It means a lot, as a friend and admirer.

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TheyCallMeTim 28 Jul 2022 02:05

I've read this twice now. I'll let it sit, and then I'll return to it, and I know I'll return to it again. I don't really know why this hit me as it did. I'll be spending some time mulling it over, rereading this, in order to help me figure myself out. Funny, that.

I read the ending of this as a draft yesterday, and now I'm reading the ending in the final product, and I've thought of it at least a dozen times. I have my ideas about what this builds to, and what it's trying to say, and there's a depth here that's… almost alarming. One layer is the fascinating exploration of a kind of museum tailored to a guilty man. And underneath that, I think one thing this does is not just point out one of the many problems of being human, but in a beautiful way shows us a solution. That's too rare, I'm used to being told about infinite problems with no solution. And I do not at all believe that's all this piece is saying, or succeeds at doing.

There are so so so many ways this could have gone wrong, or even have just been less. But not a toe out of line, not a beat of a misstep.

God, I'm glad this site exists. This is why it exists, to give enough of a setting and world to launch any kind of writing. This is one of the pinnacle works on this site demonstrating why this site, setting, and lore are unique and enable what I genuinely believe to be in the best creative writing on the internet.

This is *great.* And I do not mean that in a little sense.

Elenee FishTruck 28 Jul 2022 03:11

It's comments like these that keep you going on the wiki.

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+1!

LORDXVNV 28 Jul 2022 02:48

For the purposes of critting 7k, I will be assessing your work on a 5-point scale where 1 is actively unenjoyable and 5 is exemplary. I understand that this may come off as cold, but given the volume of work I expect to be produced I feel this is a necessity to keep my thoughts organized so I can perform a comprehensive assessment of every piece. Finally, this is entirely my personal opinion. I apologize in advance if you find the crit unpleasant.

Scoring Matrix, may contain spoilers

Criteria	Comment	Score
Ideas and Content	The anomaly is about a place that seems to draw from the explorer's memory, though at the end it might be drawing from all things, the mind making sense out of chaos. The story itself is a sinner confessing their guilt through exploration. Howard's character is much stronger than when I crit this, I think, the confession being more explicit and acting as recontextualization instead of being left ambiguous. The imagery, of course, is beautiful and captures this sense of a surreal place where everything is just off enough to suggest that the explorer's life is not the perfection we're led to believe.	5
Organization	The exploration gets slowly more and more sinister, and the revelation is like a crescendo.	5
Voice	An incredibly strong work that fully explores all of the themes present in a DodoDevil piece. I almost can't see the Elenee. This is a story about historiography, through the lens of guilt.	5
Word Choice/Clinical Tone	Yeah it's good.	5
Sentence Fluency	don't even know why i bother with this section	5
Aesthetic	BHL is fine. The split scene is better now that it's also explicitly explained	4
Audience and respect	Not overly long, no unnecessary padding, no required outside reading	5

Verdict: Eager enthusiastic +1. It's extraordinarily clever to tie the ideas of history being a story we tell ourselves with the personal story of a sinner, and the surreal disquieting imagery builds and builds until the grim revelation.

I didn't quite get how the ending imagery connected, only that it was a beautiful scene of saying goodbye.

Criteria:

Ideas and content: Is the story clear and well defined? Is there a rich sense of detail that creates a picture of environment and action, depicting knowledge and insight? Is it a fresh approach to the core anomaly?

Organization: Does the piece have a memorable hook and stinger that establish focus? Is the sequence of events effective and logical? Do transitions between sections (addenda, etc) tie the ideas of the SCP together?

Voice: Does the writing evoke strong emotion? Does it feel like the writer has fully committed to the ideas that they're writing about? Does the piece have a strong connection to the audience and purpose? Is the writer's personality expressed in that their confidence and feeling are apparent?

Word choice/clinical tone: Does the language use fitting imagery to convey pictures in readers' minds? Are the verbs powerful, the nouns precise, and the adjectives appropriate? Is dialogue, if used, natural sounding but not overwrought? Does the use of clinical tone effectively create a scientific atmosphere without obscuring meaning? If clinical tone is abandoned, is it intentional?

Sentence Fluency: Do sentences contain words that are relevant so that the meaning is enhanced and minimal unnecessary words that detract from meaning? Do sentences vary in beginnings, length, and structure. Do sentences sound smooth and rhythmic when read aloud, so they invite expressive reading?

Aesthetic: Is the CSS thematically fitting for the story being told? Is the page pleasant to look at? Is the page honest about how long it will take to read at first glance? Are format screws and other experiential flair relevant to the anomaly described?

Audience and respect: Does this respect the audience's time? Does it want to the audience to care about something that they know about? Does it rely too heavily on outside knowledge?

Based on: https://studylib.net/doc/25350238/creative-writing-rubric

Re: +1!

Elenee FishTruck 28 Jul 2022 03:09

I almost can't see the Elenee.

When the article isn't shortform >:(

I can attest that Dodo is the real star here, though my contributions are the idea, the ending log, some parts of other logs like the confession, and removing a bunch of "to be" verbs. Dodo essentially constructed the actual plot of the article, and it's immensely better for it.

I'm glad you enjoyed the article!

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#28, +1

Ralliston 28 Jul 2022 11:22

i can't fucking believe you two got away with writing the backrooms as your 7k smh my head

In all seriousness, this is really really fun. The imagery (and images!) are excellent and set the mood perfectly. I really like how the story ties itself to the main character whilst still being about the anomaly in some capacity, which really makes for a satisfying journey throughout. And the 173 appearance is just smooth as hell without feeling forced at all. Really cool stuff.

Re: #28, +1

Elenee FishTruck 28 Jul 2022 12:55

There’s a rule that me and Dodo can only collaborate on Backrooms-related articles. First The Bathrooms Wiki, now this.

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Re: #28, +1

DodoDevil 28 Jul 2022 13:29

how has no one spotted the backrooms reference in 7k-J?

AnActualCrow 28 Jul 2022 21:02

The imagery here is really strong, but the ending left me a little confused. The way you were building up the ending, I was hoping it would give me a stronger sense of what I was supposed to take away from the article/how Howard's arc resolves. The ending has a great sense of atmosphere, but I didn't feel like it did anything regarding the themes of the article.

I'm a little torn about the images. They're beautiful and do a lot for the mood of the article, but I also wonder if they should be edited to reflect the quality of the camera. I don't know, maybe that would make them less evocative.

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Forum signatures were a mistake.

Elenee FishTruck 28 Jul 2022 21:38

Fair point on the images, though we may just have to risk anachronism for mood. This article was an interesting balance of period-accuracy and narrative fluidity.

Also regarding your comment on the ending, I can definitely see how it can be a bit opaque. If you want to know my interpretation of the ending:

Spoilers

Lucas' eventual fate, in my opinion, reflects the slant time he has on Earth and the massive mountain of reflection and awareness he still needs to climb. He can recognize and see the constellations, the connections between all people and how one's life is never a single individual's experiences but a composite of all others' perspectives. He can't hope, however, to fully reconcile his life-long ignorance in less than a month, and remains ultimately "under the waves". He simply doesn't have enough time.

What does he do, then? He accepts his futile quest at the end of his life, and submits himself to the totality of life's experiences and connections, the web of everyone's senses: the museum itself. While all the wiser, he has gone full circle, and in his old age can do no more. He's somewhere else, now.

Also a fruition of the museum's properties. The museum contains everything a person has seen (and, in a way, everything everyone has ever seen). This includes the museum itself.

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bigslothonmyface 29 Jul 2022 02:39

Happy to +1 this thoughtful piece from two of my favorite authors on the wiki. I saw it in crit, and am pleased with your revisions—the dialogue is tighter and the story hangs together more for me than it did in my initial read. I can tell how much time and energy has gone into crafting this; it isn’t the kind of thing I can imagine creating myself, and the writers’ sensibility shows very strongly!

Elenee FishTruck 29 Jul 2022 11:53

Your critique helped us immensely, Sloth! I'm glad you like it.

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LuciferM 29 Jul 2022 09:43

I'm not entirely sure how this fits the theme, to be honest? Sorry if I'm missing something obvious

This was a beautiful piece of art. I don't think I can say anything others haven't already said, but this was quite a journey.

I loved the 1960 way of having a bodycam before they existed. I forget what the time period was briefly, and was confused why they didn't use a normal bodycam, but then remembered this was 60 years ago.

I'm not entirely sold on canceling explorations after a single attempt, or sending in a probably quite valuable doctor, but it didn't ruin anything for me either

Elenee FishTruck 29 Jul 2022 13:31

The luck connection is admittedly a little obtuse, so here’s my justification:

Justification

The entire skip details Dr. Howard’s attempts at controlling what he sees, and enforcing his view of his life as the “correct” one. In his perspective, all his choices have originated from his own initiative, and the ends justify the means. SCP-7000, however, demonstrates the Dr. Howard the exact opposite: what he views as set-in-stone and justified in fact emerged from a variety of factors beyond his control (for instance, believing killing his mother was the right choice given his goals and ambition, without considering the circumstances that led him to live a simple farm life at first anyways).

Whether he wants to realize it or not, the tangled web of life determines his every move, not just him alone, and that owes a great deal to chance.

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#28

DrScaramouche 29 Jul 2022 18:26

This felt good, like a warm comfy blanket of the things that have made mid-series (3k, 4k, 5k) articles so endearing. It has it's own voice, while somehow simultaneously feeling like the wiki, if that makes sense? If it doesn't just accept it as an attempt at high praise.

Zertas 29 Jul 2022 20:00

I think this is really beautiful in how it deals with the concept it tackles. The idea of a "Museum of Your Life" is not a new thing on the wiki, but this is not just a Museum of Your Life, it's a museum of everything that is be connected to you in everyway shape and form. It does not hold up a mirror to you and you memories, it holds up a mirror to the threads and nodes that make up what you have left
to the world.

Again, I think that's really beautiful. The character work done for this is excellent. The tone and vibes that this produces are, as you might have been able to tell from my long rambling earlier, absolutely immaculate. Also, the photos enhance this piece in the same way that a lot of my favorite articles on the site do as well. This is definitely going down as one of my favorite 7K entries.

(Also, can't wait for Researcher Zertas ;) )

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