Author post
Hey all—here's my 7000 contest entry. Its title is "The Hungry Season."
My series VIII preferences are:
- The lowest available slot from 7001 thru 7005
- 7500
- 7100
- 7007
- 7006
SCP-7002 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-7002.
This is a fantastic SCP 7000 entry. I too was reminded of Without Warning, but also Armageddon (the 1998 movie) and even Independence Day for some reason (the comet harvests resources in much the same way the Harvesters from the movie do). I'm not a critic, but my favorite part of the article by far was the timeline describing the slow ecological collapse of planet Earth, but the ending is also a contender. I really felt the sense that the world was slowly ending, and the approach of the comet really ramped up the terror aspect of the article. Excellent job.
For the purposes of criting 7k, I will be assessing your work on a 5-point scale where 1 is actively unenjoyable and 5 is exemplary. I understand that this may come off as cold, but given the volume of work I expect to be produced I feel this is a necessity. Finally, this is entirely my personal opinion.
| Criteria | Comment | Score |
|---|---|---|
| Ideas and Content | The anomaly is a comet that causes widespread environment destruction and mass hallucinations. The story is really about how far people are willing to go for it — how they're willing to sacrifice themselves and their own survival for this beacon from the heavens. It's poignant and chilling. I especially like the imagery from the last log of C & D farming on the asteroid. | 5 |
| Organization | While I found the majority of the piece enjoyable, I found that the sequence of events in Addendum 3 to drag a bit and be a bit overly abstract — we're told by the end that most of humanity is dead, yet the chain of events in which that happens feels a bit uneventful, oddly enough. This is the only real weak pacing point in the whole piece — the progression of the anomaly's effects, the madness mantras, the reveals — they all hit, the human impact shining through blatantly and flagrantly. A single weak point in an otherwise strong work. | 4 |
| Voice | Not much more to add here. The piece is clear in its ethos, even when wrapped up in clinical tone. Bold and refreshing without being obnoxious. | 5 |
| Word Choice/Clinical Tone | There are clear intentional choices from the breaks from clinical tone. | 5 |
| Sentence Fluency | There are no grammatical errors. Each sentence is enjoyable to read and flows from one to the next. | 5 |
| Aesthetic | I'm not the biggest fan of the theme, but it doesn't actively hurt my eyes. It's largely unobtrusive in my opinion but doesn't seem chosen to reflect that actual thematics of the piece. It uses a baseline penumbra/flopstyle dark variant with unobtrusive custom CSS | 3 |
| Audience and respect | The message is topical, as it was when I crit this. It doesn't feel its length and remains flash fiction. The piece, overall, does not feel most related to luck. | 4 |
Verdict:
Overall, it's an easy +1. It doesn't subjectively "feel" like the final 7000 to me, but it's incredibly enjoyable as a piece of writing on its own merits.
Ideas and content: Is the story clear and well defined? Is there a rich sense of detail that creates a picture of environment and action, depicting knowledge and insight? Is it a fresh approach to the core anomaly?
Organization: Does the piece have a memorable hook and stinger that establish focus? Is the sequence of events effective and logical? Do transitions between sections (addenda, etc) tie the ideas of the SCP together? Is the pacing good?
Voice: Does the writing evoke strong emotion? Does it feel like the writer has fully committed to the ideas that they're writing about? Does the piece have a strong connection to the audience and purpose? Is the writer's personality expressed in that their confidence and feeling are apparent?
Word choice/clinical tone: Does the language use fitting imagery to convey pictures in readers' minds? Are the verbs powerful, the nouns precise, and the adjectives appropriate? Is dialogue, if used, natural sounding but not overwrought? Does the use of clinical tone effectively create a scientific atmosphere without obscuring meaning? If clinical tone is abandoned, is it intentional?
Sentence Fluency: Do sentences contain words that are relevant so that the meaning is enhanced and minimal unnecessary words that detract from meaning? Do sentences vary in beginnings, length, and structure. Do sentences sound smooth and rhythmic when read aloud, so they invite expressive reading?
Aesthetic: Is the CSS thematically fitting for the story being told? Is the page pleasant to look at? Is the page honest about how long it will take to read at first glance? Are format screws and other experiential flair relevant to the anomaly described?
Audience and respect: Does this respect the audience's time? Does it want to the audience to care about something that they know about? Does it rely too heavily on outside knowledge?
Based on: https://studylib.net/doc/25350238/creative-writing-rubric
I am pleased to win the favor of The Rubric™.
This is a simply gorgeous piece of writing. In a relatively short piece of writing (comparatively), we were able to tie in deep emotions of dread and loss very well. You should be extremely proud of this. The final log before the collapsible had such a sense of hopelessness you built up extremely well. One of my favorites so far.
Thanks for reading, friend. This is a heartening comment to receive! Looking forward to your entry.
I'm torn on this. On one hand, the rising action is excellent — it made me legitimately feel intense dread, probably just because apocalypses are the thing that scare me the most in fiction and your article was very reminiscent of the onward march of climate change — but I was very disappointed by the article's semi-happy ending after all that buildup, and the final cliffhanger was contrived, underwhelming, and too reminiscent of that of SCP-4100.
I'll mull this over more, but as it stands my vote will remain neutral.
Have to admit, this is also largely my feeling. I agree with others here commenting about the strong human/emotional impact and that leads to a strong catharsis, but the ending…
… biggest issue,jumping to 200 feels like you were trying to elevate the horror, but the horror was already maximal. (That's a compliment, btw. :) )Since the horror can't be increased, this just steps on the catharsis.
Less seriously but noticeable, as a trope this felt like the kind of lazy sequel-bait cliffhanger Hollywood executives add to movies they somehow weren't aware were too awful to ever get a sequel. Tropes aren't bad, but IMO this wasn't the time for this one.
So, also, no vote.
This really hits the spot for my taste in SCPs.
Is it by any chance inspired/influenced by the movie "without warning"?
+1 all the way!
Haven't seen it, I'm sorry to say. Thanks for reading!
Someone fixed this for me. Embarrassing that I didn't get to it. Thanks for the catch!
Holy shit. The buildup, the climax, the briefing log, the ending. The ENDING.
Favorite 7k entry so far. Good job!
Like I said in crit this ramps up the dread excellently. Well done amigo, well done.
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
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