Human Cockfighting

Summary:

If your rooster loses a bout, you might find yourself taking its place in the ring...

Human Cockfighting

erkdaclerk 02 May 2022 16:47

http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/erkdaclerk

Hey everyone! So this one is about a cockfighting ring in Puerto Rico where anyone who enters a rooster into a match risks becoming one themselves if their bird loses. I wanted to take a sort of humorous concept and flesh out the true horror that would be involved in something like this. My grandfather was a cockfighter (gallero) and growing up I was always filled with a mix of respect and horror whenever I went with him to a match. I feel like I've fleshed out the concept fairly well but would love some feedback on the story and characters.

Thank you for reading, and hope you enjoy!

Wordcount: 1,739

Last edited on 03 May 2022 18:00 by erkdaclerk Show more

Re: Human Cockfighting

Fireknight 09 May 2022 19:38

Howdy hey, here’s what I have to say!

+ Overall

It doesn’t feel like you’ve fully explored this concept. Your description explains how the ring turns people into roosters and how they need to win a fight to turn back, and it feels like the rest of the article is just saying the same thing. The police report is rather long and it doesn’t feel like it gives us any new information. There’s a bit of emotion that we see through it, but it’s not particularly deep. The fact that it’s bad to turn into a rooster isn’t that surprising.

I find myself wonder about the origins of this SCP. Who made it? Why? More than anything, why do people use it? The interview implies they knew the consequences on the beforehand, so why would they risk it? Is it just a gambling addiction? Or are they led in some other way?

+ Line-by-line

SCP-6912 has been encased in a concrete sarcophagus

I don’t think that’s the proper use of the word sarcophagus. I would say shell, but even that doesn’t seem practical. I think the Foundation would just use a fence.

The properties of SCP-6912 only manifest when two trainers, designated SCP-6912-B

Do they even need a designation? It seems the only anomalous thing that happens with them is when they become SCP-6912-A

two fighting roosters, designated SCP-6912-A

These also don’t need to be an SCP. Most of the roosters are non-anomalous, the only one that should be labeled -A are the trainers who turn into roosters.

instances of SCP-6912-A are unable to leave

You accidentally made a line break starting at “leave”

we received a report of an illegal cockfight the gallera

I think this should be “at the Gallera”

Mr. Sanchez laughed and told us "there are no roosters fighting here."

This feels like he’s trying to make a joke about how they’re actually humans, but it doesn’t really land because they actually are roosters.

"You can't stop a bout once it's started"

Connected to my overall, why would this be a thing? It just seems dangerous for no reason.

Some of the men who were trying to leave were now covering their eyes

Didn’t they know this would happen?

Alright, Hector

Usually the Foundation doesn’t care what the anomaly’s preferred name is

SCP-6912-A-16 was presented with a keyboard for communication. All answers have been translated from Spanish.

It feels like this was supposed to go with the interview.