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Sure, I wrote this too late for the main wave of Resurrection and too early for its renaissance, but I thought we needed to see a tale that reflects the critics' opinions (in a heavily distorted way).
Many thanks to Decibelles, thedeadlymoose, and Dexanote for their feedback and encouragement. Many thanks to GreenWolf, MrWrong, and psul for critique.
See more of my work on my author page!
A milestone and a half. In the four and a half years since I wrote this piece, Santosh has gone on to become a full-blown character in his own right — partly through my own Moonlighting but mostly through sirpudding’s excellent work on Ara Orun. Arvind, meanwhile, has fallen into obscurity — and perhaps that’s what he deserves and wants, to be eclipsed by his own son.
Glad to see all my issues with it were fixed up! Now it's just all-around good and balanced. And like I said, I love the format of storytelling you're going for here. It helps flesh the story out in a way that would be more clunky with a traditional narrative.
Randomini A Random Day, you cheeky fucker.
I am obligated to register my annoyance at this being posted a month or two early pre-hiatus-end (especially because it still reads like an intro tale and we have too many intro tales), but I still really like it. I find the character appealing, the writing both realistic and wry, and it's fun to read despite the structure/concept.
+1, and imma stab you.
(And since you haven't suggested follow-ups yet — do feel free to poke us on IRC if you want to throw things at us or want help brainstorming.)
yes, i am indeed the one who wrote cool war
also I posted this early because I felt my last contribution was less than stellar and needed to make up for it
I'm upvoting but there was one line that struck me as bad:
I have already tried to blow the whistle from the inside but nobody wants to listen, forcing me to turn to the Global Occult Coalition, the one group that might have more power and the ability to stop this.
This is phrased very very awkwardly since the email in question is *to the GOC*
Other than that, I liked it a fair bit.
In the email that mentions designation Cuckoo, I believe the address To and From fields are reversed. Otherwise, excellent work.
Pretty good, overall. The note at the end was basically just spelling out the nature of the father-son relationship in a way that felt out of place. Furthermore, this is basically just another intro piece for yet another character.
But, upon reflection, that's kind of why I like this; Desai is a character, rather than an author avatar.
Reading this, I got an idea of a father's pain as his son pushes him away, I saw the frustration and horror creep in between the lines of the official letters, and I understood at least partly why someone would choose to betray the Foundation like this. He feels like an organic person, rather than someone who was cobbled together from distinctive attributes, which, ironically makes him infinitely more memorable than most of the newly-introduced characters for this canon.
+1
Thanks Gaffney. I've spent a lot of time wondering how to introduce Arvind Ramkumar Desai as a character into the Foundation, and your praise really means a lot.
I struggled with that last letter; wondering if it spelled out the issue too much or not.
I'm not proud of this, but those letters are patterned after my own relationship with my father, questions about a girl friend, brusque replies, and all. I don't really know what else to say…
Thanks Gaffney. Means a lot.
I can't figure the letters out - is Santosh dead or not? Are these letters non-linear, or is there a dead brother Santosh who the kid was named for? I is a confuse
There are two key arcs which are connected.
The first arc involves Arvind trying and failing to reconnect with his estranged son Santosh. This arc is composed of the letters between Santosh and Arvind, which are interspersed between the email exchanges in the second arc to maintain the reader's emotional investment.
The second arc is Arvind deciding to become a mole for the GOC in order to stop Alpha-9, recalling how Santosh's death was caused in part by the existence of Omega-7 and fueled by the desire to prevent more deaths from occurring at the hands of Alpha-9.
Sweet, sweet, character building.
There's a lot of stuff I was gonna say which Gaffney already covered above, so I'll just keep it to this: this is both an excellent character piece as well as a really good bit of metacommentary on Resurrection a la This Is Not Me Talking.
…Did I mention the character work?
I'm confused here,
Is santosh alive?
Santosh is dead. He died sometime in 2007. Most of this tale takes place about a decade later.
What's going on with "@a25.scp" and "@42.scp"? They seemed to jump around.
(account deleted)