Life Can Be A Surprise / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page Life Can Be A Surprise.
I think there are some really clever lines — a bunch of subtle meme nods — and a few other things about this piece that really make it work. That being said, I have a slight issue with the redundancy of the article's presentation, with the poem and then the third-party feedback.
I'm also not a huge fan of how the poems are justified as being "wonky." It seems like a subtle nod by the author to excuse the poems weird pace at times just because they acknowledged it beforehand. Regardless, I think it's fun and I enjoyed what was there.
#6
Dick House, Private Eye
this was a pleasant surprise. you certainly know how to appeal to me, don't you? but aside from the pandering it's a surprising sweet story given the varied format - art, poems (with admittedly weird meter), notes. aiko's art is, of course, very good and suits the tone. the only thing i could complain about is lord's indulgence of references but then i hate all fun so go figure. anyway, it also manages to set up what i assume is the premise of the rest of your team's entries nicely - i look forward to the rest of the work!
also i will definitely be using these characters.
Really creative use of a format I haven't really seen used to tell stories on-site at all. Interesting and intriguing; just enough to give the reader a rough picture of what's happening but also to keep them wanting to read more. Good stuff, even if the internet references felt just a little too "how do you do fellow kids" for my tastes.
It's surprisingly endearing, and I am giving it a +1. I do admit that the concept of all grown-ups disappearing is… Somewhat clichéd, but so far you've made it work, and I am curious as to where you're taking this story.
A detail that, while made on purpose, is a bit confusing, is the abbreviation of their names into R. House and R. House even when talking about two different people. It makes it confusing to understand who wrote what at times (especially since apparently the older sibling didn't get "the talk" while the other one did?) but it's a minor point in the end. Fun entry, can't wait to see where you take it.
While maybe a *little* heavy on the zoomer humor, I really do love the varied mediums used to tell the story here, and this sets up the premise for the rest of your team's work nicely. Interested to see where this goes.
This is neat. I love how you introduce the premise with these poems, and the comments alongside. Although I too think some of the references are a bit much, it doesn't detracts from the piece.
Really interested in seeing how this goes. +1~
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
