Seeking GREENLIGHT The Informative Vodka

Seeking GREENLIGHT The Informative Vodka

noop10011 12 Jan 2022 11:57

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Page Layout:

• New Classification Bar
• Special Containment Procedures
• Description
• Discovery
• Interviews

Elevator Pitch:

• A very intelligent and sapient Vodka Bottle.
• Some lore into the creation of this SCP.
• A new SCP that can give out information.
• Possibly a New GOI???

Central Narrative: This SCP was created by a group called the "House of Intelligence" and was found in a dormitory in a redacted city that had increased test scores. The group that had this SCP called themselves the "Wisdom Seekers" and said there where many more of them out there. This sentient vodka wants to share its wisdom and intelligence with everyone so that us humans can make further advancements socially and technically. This SCP used to be a man who lived in Russia but moved to the USA for a better life and his consciousness was put into the bottle with a LOT of information. There is 2 incidents that this SCP has caused mass chaos the first being before the foundation discoverd it it gave information about the foundation and the person who recived this information attempted to make this info public but the SCP foundation got to the person before they could publish it. The second incident is when the chaos insurgency raided Site-17 and asked this SCP a bunch of questions about the SCP foundation and then raided 3 more sites that same week. The SCP foundation got this SCP back before anymore harm could be done. This SCP does not know everything but it does know a lot more than anyone else on earth; especially about some GOIs and the SCP Foundation. For that reason this SCP could be incredibly dangerous.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: This SCP is more than an ordinary SCP. It could be the answer to most of the worlds problems. This SCP was not always a vodka bottle but a human! That's not even the worst of it. There will be more SCPs like this one. SCPs made by the "House of Intelligence" are very intelligent/informational but not all of them can talk. For example one could just be a book with the history of every small and big event in history to being a humanoid that looks like an ordinary man but is spitting out a bunch of binary code that tells you how to make the perfect AI.

Additional Notes: I already have a draft made if you would like the link private message me or just reply to this post. This SCP does not have a mouth. It looks like a normal Absolute Vodka Bottle.

Last edited on 19 Jan 2022 19:17 by noop10011 Show more

Re: Seeking GREENLIGHT The Informative Vodka

KokwahStarry 12 Jan 2022 16:10

So here is what I think:

+ ⭐Critique⭐

Hi there! Let’s talk about your idea.

So this one is a bit bare-bones. You need to describe your skip and the narrative in a lot more detail and you need to generally revamp your narrative since it is quite bland. Also, I will point out that SCP-606 does try to teach people as well.

Another thing I would point out is that making the GoI the focus of this is probably not the best idea since you are kind of putting the wagon before the horse. Try to develop your narrative around something that doesn't directly involve the GoI. You are gonna want the skips to define the GoI rather than the other way around in this case.

If you want me to review this again after revisions PM me. Thanks for reading!

+ ⭐Critique V2⭐

So this still mostly feels like a thing that does a weird thing. The narrative is the main issue here. I just do not think your article will be able to hold a reader's attention without some greater narrative that I do not see here. Try going into more detail about the origin or talk about its discovery. Just generally try to dive a bit deeper.

Coming to you from the Fifth World,
⭐Starry⭐

Last edited on 14 Jan 2022 15:45 by KokwahStarry Show more

Re: Seeking GREENLIGHT The Informative Vodka

Jacob Conwell 13 Jan 2022 16:20

Review request received via PM:

+ show block

Multiple New GOIs???

I appreciate the bullet points, and so far they are decent, not groundbreaking, but decent, but this is where I pause. Creating a new GoI that is going to go anywhere is not an easy task, let alone creating multiple. If you are gung ho on creating a new GoI with this skip, I would focus on one, and make damn sure it is integral to the skip, otherwise, it will read like you are tacking something on at the last second.

This sentient vodka wants to share its wisdom and intelligence with everyone. The problem with this is that if someone where to ask about something like what the SCP foundation is or how to end the world they would gain that information.

We have no shortage of articles that impart knowledge on the site. Hell, SCP-028 literally is this concept boiled down to its bare bones. However, whereas that SCP at least has the interesting development of the knowledge imparted being random, you are essentially creating an omniscient cartoon character via a talking bottle of vodka.

If this SCP fell into the wrong hands then it could mean the end of the world. It is the upmost priority that this SCP stays out of the Chaos Insurgency's hands.

Well yeah. It's an SCP. The Foundation keeping such things out of the wrong hands is kind of their whole thing. I fail to see how this could be the end of the world though, a major security breach, sure. A massive inconvenience, maybe. But the end of the world? Bit of a stretch.

This SCP does not know everything but it does know a lot more than anyone else on earth and that what makes it so dangerous.

So lock it in a footlocker forever. You are dressing up something with a very simple fix with a lot of red alerts.

This SCP is more than an ordinary SCP. It could be the answer to most of the worlds problems. This SCP was not always a vodka bottle but a human! There is something else though. Something it is not telling us. Is it possible it know more than it is letting on?

Vague gestures that your SCP is super mysterious and "was once a man" is not the hook you think it is. Nor is stating that your article is not an ordinary SCP. I'd strongly recommend actually including what your big twist is here if you are serious about getting a greenlight, cause right now I'm not certain you as the writer know what makes this SCP so special.

All and all there is a lot you'll need to hammer out here before most people will likely give you a green light. The fact that it's a talking bottle of vodka is unique but doesn't really add a ton to the story. The effect is pretty generic and bland, and arguably can already be seen in a preexisting SCP, and your big hook is incredibly vague and not really a hook at all.

My advice to you:

• If you're going to go with the talking object angle, make the character of the object pop. I want to be interested in the character you make, and see it have personality. Is it sarcastic? Dry? Monotone? Enthusiastic? Really give this character voice.
• What areas of knowledge does it really excel in. If your big twist is that the bottle was once a man, give hints of that via the knowledge it disperses that would suggest what it once did in life.
• If you really want this to come across as dangerous, give an example of how bad it is in the wrong hands.

Right now your proposal has a lot of you hand waving why this idea is so dangerous and unique but doesn't really show that.

No green light from me.

Good luck.

Re: Seeking GREENLIGHT The Informative Vodka

fabledtiefling 18 Jan 2022 15:30

Your pitch is reliant on a bunch of "what if's" right now instead of actual narrative content, and the bottle itself doesn't appear to be a very well defined character. As a result there's not a lot of actual content in the narrative. My main recommendation is to actually turn one of those "What if's" into something that actually happens. Don't allude to potential danger- make that an actual thing that happens and make the Foundation respond to it.