SCP-5819 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5819.

Author Post

Panda_of_Green 04 Jan 2022 21:17

After over a year of working and dreading possible failure, I finally got enough confidence to post my first SCP. It isn't anything too special, but it's simple enough for my first. I hope you enjoyed reading this sweet SCP.

Special thanks to Xinsiras & Opal from Dr. Cimmerian's Discord server for giving critique on my article.

No author page yet (for obvious reasons)

Oh, by the way, if you have no idea who Lil Sweet is, let me bestow you with The Sweetness of his commercials.

Last edited on 04 Jan 2022 21:18 by Panda_of_Green Show more

Roundabouts 04 Jan 2022 21:33

That's some wacko, fun stuff right there. There's some SPaG issues, but this was fun, unironically.

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— Roundabout.

Panda_of_Green 04 Jan 2022 21:35

Thank you very much!

jackVS 04 Jan 2022 21:52

+1, basically echoing Roundabouts, this is small and fun

+SPaG and tone suggestions

if any unauthorized instances manifest … deny its offers

"instances" is plural but "its" is singular

The anonymous effects of SCP-5819

anomalous effects

instances clam to be

claim to be

With the subject's body rejecting all other forms of liquids not branded as Dr Pepper.

This is a sentence fragment, try replacing it with "the subject's body will reject all other forms of liquids not branded as Dr Pepper."

four of which consumed its contents

four of whom

Whom of which is the founder of Dr Pepper

I don't actually know if "whom of which" is correct but it's unnecessary, that footnote should read "The founder of Dr Pepper." imo

no evidence of being dugout

I think "evidence of having been dug out" reads better

Next to the SCP-5819 instances was a letter and it read as followed.

This tone is odd, I would say "a letter, which read as follows."

Dr Pepper use to be the "King of Beverages"

used to be (unless this is on purpose bc it's a letter)

I will grant you what was a limited addition of Dr Pepper

limited edition

Panda_of_Green 04 Jan 2022 21:56

Thank you for showing my errors. I'll attempt to fix those as soon as possible.

KirQ 05 Jan 2022 09:58

hey, that's pretty good for the first scp. Easy upvote from me

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-KirQ-

GremlinGroup 05 Jan 2022 17:00

Pretty wacky concept, I like it!

+1

Doctor Xinsiras 07 Jan 2022 01:30

I enjoyed this article since the moment I provided crit for it. I loved reading it in it's beta stages. I'm proud to have helped make such a detailed, and enjoyable article! Great work Green!

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Darkness Awaits,
Doctor Xinxiras…

Maxyfran73 11 Jan 2022 22:14

A simple, fun skip. I like it~

+1

docsigma 01 Feb 2022 18:23

Oh this was so much fun! +1