A Final, Dying Ember / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page A Final, Dying Ember.

Part IV of IV

Jacob Conwell 30 Nov 2021 13:26

And here we are, the grand finale of A Dark, Forsaken Candle. I hope you enjoyed this little romp through Agent Beatrice Ross's past and Three Portlands. It was certainly fun to write, and I must say I have a soft spot for these Beatrice Ross Mystery tale series. Maybe a third one will come down the line in a few years.

A very heartfelt thanks is in order for GreenWolf who not only served as THE major advisor on this series but allowed me to use Robin Thorne and build on their past as I have been known to do with other people's characters. They are truly a fun character to work with and wholly underutilized on the Wiki.

Special Thanks to the following for providing Critique:

GreenWolf - SCP-6206
Vivarium - SCP-5681
Anorrack - SCP-5859
tawny0

A hub will go live shortly, at which point this series will be officially complete.

Thank you for your time, and for reading.

JC

(account deleted) 30 Dec 2021 17:16

Oh goody, I can comment on this now! If I had done so earlier, it might have spoiler'd who my secret Santa giftee was.

Anyway, I liked this series overall. Well-paced, interesting use of characters new and old, and a cool look into Beatrice's past.

My one complaint is that the flashbacks feel a bit off. Specifically, the whole explosion that fucked up everything so bad that it kicked off this entire series is treated almost as an afterthought. I get why you want to save the big action/explosion part of the flashback for the climax of the story, but it leads to the aftermath, which seems like the actual emotional climax of the past, as this weird lacuna in the narrative. I think that it could be resolved by inserting more flashbacks throughout the story, but that seems like a big structural overhaul for something just doesn't quite land.

Still, this was an excellent story and an excellent series, and I look forward to more Ross Murder/Drug Smuggling Mysteries.

Jacob Conwell 14 Jan 2022 15:56

Glad you enjoyed the series.

I will admit that the flashbacks probably could have been a bit smoother or more expansive, part of that was balancing the brevity I enjoy in this series with providing enough background for things to make sense, but dip into over exposition. I am glad what is here was not a deal-breaker in the end though.

Thank you for your time and review.

+1

Ralliston 19 Mar 2022 17:32

I like the ending reveal a lot but I can't help but feel it could've been executed better, especially with what Gaffsey pointed out. My other small problem is that the moment of said reveal is… slightly confusingly-worded. It could be much clearer what's going on. Still tentatively upvoting though because god is it an absolute joy to read those, and this is no exception.

Oh, and also:

"Edmund Bray?" Thorne asked, recognizing her former pupil. "But you're-"

Shouldn't this be "their former pupil?"

Last edited on 19 Mar 2022 17:33 by Ralliston Show more