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Thanks to LORDXVNV, HarryBlank, and all others who took a look at this while it was a draft.
I was wondering when someone would do this as a 001 proposal.
You did not disappoint.
Very well done my friend.
If I could +2 I absolutely would. But alas, that's not possible. Anyways, easy +1.
You made me interested in the Chaos Insurgency. Nothing has ever made me interested in the Chaos Insurgency. Add in the fact that you've got a suicide note with literary merit and an MTF scene with entertaining action and manifestos that are only heavy-handed in a good way and… well, it's like you decided to demonstrate how to make cliched things and stock things into fresh things somehow. Easy upvote.
I feel very split about this. The concept is super interesting and I can definitely dig it - like Harry said above, you got me interested in the chaos insurgency - but the article is held back by the sheer walls of exposition and repeated information in what's already a decently long piece, which often made parts feel like a slog to get through. The first sidebox completely spoils the concepts played with in the article a couple hundred words into a 13000 word article, and the poem at the end also really falls flat for me personally, leaving the article on a sour note.
I'm of the same opinion. The repetition of information in a lengthy article coupled with an unsatisfying conclusion/answer leads me to downvote.
There are definitely some very good parts here, (like the suicide note, the interrogation, and the general build-up in the first half of the article) but they don't solve the problems stated above.
Hard agree. I skipped through to the end because I has a thought of “an admin is a mole”. The progression is too slow.
I'm always a fan of more Chaos Insurgency explorations. There are only a few other articles that tell us what the Chaos Insurgency really sees at its purpose, but this is the only one I can think of, that really uses the unique aspects of the Insurgency (mostly the Engine).
That said I don't find the conclusion behind this that interesting. I also think that right now the Insurgencies purpose is a bit too circular for me.
In the end, the Insurgency just fights the Foundation, because it needs to fight the Foundation. It is mentioned multiple times that the Foundation expanding massively is a problem. What I think is missing is something that links the coming monopoly of the Foundation towards the increasing disorder. (This is especially weird because it makes it seem like the Foundation is the chaos side in the order-chaos conflict, that I think this article implies in the background) The endnote about the gods answers this somewhat, but I think it's a very external answer to the conflict and with that a bit unsatisfying.
Personally, I also find the reveal of the Engine as "just an AI" also a bit underwhelming, but that's probably only because I overthought what the Engine could be before this article.
Overall I think this sadly didn't leave enough of an impression on me as a 001-proposal should, but I also can't see this working as anything but a 001-proposal. Maybe I'll change my mind about this later and upvote, but for now it's a novote.
Also a no-vote from me, I was ready to upvote most of the way through but the ending just felt a little disappointing to me. Not sure exactly what I was expecting, but "we fight the Foundation because reality says so" felt like a rather unsatisfying explanation for the conflict. I'm not saying it's bad, it just seems a little contrived, and I prefer people to have more human motivations.
This was great. Out of all interpretations of the CI I've seen in this site, this one is by far the best. Your writing was overall incredible and made the article as a whole flow in a very good pace (note: I read this at around 01:00 a.m.) and I believe there were no parts of the text that felt boring or uninteresting, and while it was a very long article, it felt like I read the whole thing in ten minutes. The characters were also great, the suicide note giving the point of view of a CI member, the interview between Pogan and the mole, the MTF incursion and the Engineer had their personalities, morals, beliefs and everything presented perfectly to me in just one addendum or two.
I have seen people comment on the repetition of information, but that was something I actually think was amazingly done. The way I see it, this whole article was summarized in the description. All the info, all the specific points about the CI, everything. Now here is where the "repetition" comes into play: each of those points briefly mentioned were analyzed thoroughly in each segment of the text, explaining to the reader what once were weird names thrown in the article. The Insurgency itself, the machine, the Engineer, the Cascade, everything was "repeated" just so that it could be properly explained, and it was done perfectly.
Last thing, I don't understand why the ending upset some people. Yes, the gist of the article could be summarized in "the CI fights the Foundation because the universe needs that", but that's not the point. The point are the details that come with that sentence. What will affect the universe if the fight stops? It's an amazing concept that makes the chaos theory apply in a twisted manner to all things that compose the universe, from the arrangement of molecules to the gravity of the planets, and that's just cool as hell. In all CI canons I have seen, they "had" to fight the Foundation because of some dumb excuse, such as "talking car engine" or "because they fired us", but this one actually explains what happens if the fight stops, and thats the whole point. If the CI doing what the CI does because that's what the CI has to do is an objective problem to all, we should blame the origins of the GoI, in my opinion.
With that I can say for sure that this article deserves an upvote from me.
a few technical/grammatical things:
- in the second to last addendum, the engineer refers to themself as SCP-001-A? I would have fixed this myself, but i wasn't sure if that was intentional or not. I imagine it isn't, but I'd rather not risk it.
- the ACS in the final addendum is, on firefox at least, broken. not sure how to fix it, but currently the secondary class symbol is the thaumiel one, the color behind the "esoteric" symbol is cyan, for whatever reason, and theres formatting text visible behind the at-a-glance symbols.
- Also in the final addendum, there's an "end of addendum" tab right UNDER the ACS.
On to the actual post.
As stated, I think this falls a little short in some aspects, but is otherwise executed BEAUTIFULLY. The pacing is (mostly) amazing, there's a place for everything here, and the story…
I like it! At the risk of making points already made in the thread, I always just saw the CI as… sorta there? Even Ouroboros, as well written as that is, seems too… out there? In terms of the relationship between the Foundation and the Insurgency matters. But this provides a compelling reason for it all! I'm enamored at how you did it, too, but I'm tired and having trouble putting it into words.
There are some things that stick out to me, though. The supplementary accompanying addendum 2 feels REALLY out of place, for one. Sarkic themes in general aren't present, and outlining them specifically feels… odd, especially since it spoils the rest of the article. Maybe I'm missing something, though.
There's also the point thats been iterated before here, about how some pieces are a bit underwhelming. I think the ending is good, and its foreshadowed enough, but there are some bits that are a bit much? Like how the suicide note flat out says that the universes are dying.
But I think, overall, +1 from me. This is really good!
The implication that the Insurgency could be a potential anomaly in and of itself is interesting, and I like the concept you thought up for this goal!
