SCP-512 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-512.

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Toast Poast

RJB_R 30 Oct 2015 21:31

Dxanote and I have rewritten this SCP. Screenshots of everything have been saved in the discussion page. Original writer of this SCP was HK-016, and this is the second one of his SCPs I have been a part in rewriting.

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

Re: Toast Poast

Dexanote 30 Oct 2015 21:43

Yeeeeeee

Also it needs more Commonwealth spellings ;__;

Re: Toast Poast

RJB_R 30 Oct 2015 23:53

Oh, abd credit to WJS for the last addenda stuff. He put the idea for it in the original discussion page.

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

Re: Toast Poast

WrongJohnSilver 31 Oct 2015 04:56

Hey, it's up! Great to see you both working on the rewrite!

And ha, you used the idea! Sweet! And I like how you tied it back to its discovery, too.

TL333s 30 Oct 2015 23:13

Going by what excerpts I can see in the screencaps, you've definitely updated this well enough vis-a-vis tone, but I dunno. It's an OTT umbrella what makes lightning, and also once it made a dude fly, but he died because too much lightning. Not terribly interesting.

(account deleted) 31 Oct 2015 00:08

above it to become extremely ionized

I think "highly ionized" might work better here. That said… I didn't find this particularly interesting. I don't actively dislike it though, so neutral vote.

TwistedGears 31 Oct 2015 00:27

extremely ionized

exceptionally dangerous

Despite SCP-512's efficacy against normal precipitation, it is inadvisable to use the object during severe weather.

I'm not sure why that last one is even necessary. Even if I'm just being nitpicky, having up-to-date tone only counts for so much, and the article itself feels "okay" at best.

quantumshard 31 Oct 2015 00:36

SCP-512 was discovered caught on a streetlamp and fully opened, with evidence of several lightning strikes in the immediate area. Its handle was noted to be covered in ash.

…Did you just kill off Mary Poppins?

Dexanote 31 Oct 2015 06:28

:)

MrWrong 31 Oct 2015 16:17

…Did you just kill off Mary Poppins?

If that's the case, I wish it could be played up more. It's currently too subtle for my tastes, but this implication will keep me neutral for now.

WrongJohnSilver 31 Oct 2015 16:42

I see it that someone else was using it in the same way as D-512-33, and meet the same fate. If that was Mary Poppins, well, that's one way to look at it.

Besides, we should be thankful.

Last edited on 31 Oct 2015 17:02 by WrongJohnSilver Show more

Memeticreddituser 29 Nov 2018 14:02

Is D-512-33 Mary poppins?

A Random Day 31 Oct 2015 01:57

I thought it was a pretty clever Mary Poppins reference, but then I've never actually bothered to watch Mary Poppins.

Scorpion451 31 Oct 2015 02:06

So much potential… one tiny little flaw.

Also:

A helicopter was launched to pursue object and D-512-33.

The mental images this entire scene brings to mind make me extremely happy. X3
Somewhere in there a senior researcher was doing a Patrick Steward grade facepalm.

Last edited on 31 Oct 2015 02:06 by Scorpion451 Show more

canaryfarmer 31 Oct 2015 02:56

The only part I really got interested in was the image of that D-Class having the wildest day of his life. Everything else was…there.

Last edited on 31 Oct 2015 02:59 by canaryfarmer Show more

CirclesAndSquares 31 Oct 2015 03:23

Is it just me or is this just an anomalous object?

HatIsMyFriend 02 Nov 2015 06:37

The assorted contents of Junior Researcher Renfield's bagged lunch

Gee, I wonder what sort of noodle incident caused that?

Anyway, as others said, "Extremely ionised" isn't exactly right. "Highly" should be used in that cause.

And how the heck did the helicopter recover it when it was gliding all over the place without shredding it on the propellers?

The testing log probably needs more detail put into it, it looks kind of short and only there to provide some climax to the article.

So, as workable as it is, no vote. It's not bad, but could use improvement.

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