My First SCP Idea, the “Void Machine”

Summary:

I’ve never made an SCP before

My First SCP Idea, the “Void Machine”

Paroxyzm 25 Oct 2021 16:09

I’ve never made an SCP before but I came up with this very rough and open ended idea which I think may be interesting.

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Elevator Pitch: The ‘Void Machine’ is a man-made machine that is able to create portals on flat surfaces (nicknamed ‘Doorways’) which lead into an infinitely large and infinitely empty pocket dimension, (nicknamed the ‘Void’).

Central Narrative: I am unsure of a central narrative as of now. Potentially, some civilians discovered one of these 'Doorways' and went missing in them, unable to stop their momentum away from the 'Doorway' once in the 'Void'? All I know is that the creator of the machine is currently unknown.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: These ‘Doorways’ have specially designed barriers allowing only living sentient organisms and man-made objects to enter. They will block any other substances, like air, from entering them. These barriers are invisible to the naked eye, but can be detected by means of SCP visual technology. The barriers seem to exist in order to prevent what can only be described as a ‘Blackhole Event’, where all the physical matter near the 'Doorway' will be forcibly rushed into the 'Void' like a Blackhole, likely continuing endlessly, resulting in the end of humanity as we know it.

Additional Notes:
• The 'Doorways' seem to be somehow powered by the 'Void Machine' with no visible connection.

• Once created, ‘Doorways’ don’t need to be near the ‘Void Machine’ for them to exist, and neither do their ‘Barriers’. The machine, however, is still observed to be powering them, no matter their distance from it.

• There are three known locations where Doorways have been created, and currently reside. Others may exist elsewhere, but no more have yet been found.

• Currently, the ‘Doorways’ have no clear way of being relocated or destroyed without causing a ‘Blackhole Event’.

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Rhys 'Paroxyzm' Jordan

Last edited on 26 Oct 2021 06:57 by Paroxyzm Show more

Re: My First SCP Idea, the “Void Machine”

Slendercreppy0 25 Oct 2021 17:31

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Your main concept seems more like description rather than the story concept of your scp, which I know from personal experience is hard to avoid but that’s the first thing I taught myself.

And sincerely apologies if this critique is so short, I had a shit day and will give better critique by tomorrow

Last edited on 26 Oct 2021 10:52 by Slendercreppy0 Show more

Operational Staff Post - Open

Hexick 25 Oct 2021 17:54

Slendercreppy0, acting in staff capacity when you are not a member of such is considered backseat moderating, which directly goes against Site Rules. If you see problematic behavior, contact a member of site staff, rather than taking the issue on yourself. Do not do this again.

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Hexick, SCP Wiki Operational Staff, Community Outreach/MAST/Licensing/Site Crit
Personal site: http://hexhouse.wikidot.com/
Feel free to forward any concerns or inquiries to my Wikidot inbox.

Forum Criticism Team - Operational Staff Post

tawnyowljones 25 Oct 2021 19:34

Author, per the required reading forum guidelines: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282684/required-reading:how-to-use-this-forum-ideas please fill out the concept template to seek feedback on your idea.

Remember to please edit your previous post using the "edit" function under the "options" tab to the lower right of your first comment rather than creating a new thread.

Also, please mind the wordcount limit—the combined text for your answers to the last four sections (Elevator Pitch, Central Narrative, Hook/Attention-Grabber, and Additional Notes) MAY NOT exceed 400 words. For convenience, authors can use this page to check wordcount: https://wordcounter.net/

Once you have revised your post accordingly, please reach out to reviewers to request that they look at your thread. You can find a list of ways to contact reviewers in this thread: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282692/how-to-get-more-reviews

Re: Forum Criticism Team - Operational Staff Post

Paroxyzm 26 Oct 2021 06:34

Thank-you for your reply! I have edited my post accordingly :)
Hope all is well now!

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Rhys 'Paroxyzm' Jordan

Re: My First SCP Idea, the “Void Machine”

REDESERT 26 Oct 2021 07:33

Hello!

SAND

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Conceptually speaking this is coming across a little bland atm, and primarily, I feel like it's due to the lack of a clear narrative to take this in some other direction than "look at this weird object that does this".

- On a general note too, concepts this broad will usually need to a stronger story to accompany them, (as oppose to a more unique or niche anomaly, that usually have a clearer direction off the bat), as without a story, there's little that'll really make it stand out beyond the effects.

With that in mind, I'd like to know a little more on the following before I start on any specific recommendations (try to answer in as little words as possible, the more concise the better!); what do you want to focus on most in the narrative, what about the skip are you looking to explore? are there any characters involved, if so what role do they play? have you got any central conflicts in mind? what do you generally want the payoff to look like, and should we be feeling about it (scared, angry, happy, sad ect.)?

If you revise/respond and would like further critique from me, feel welcome to send a PM :)

Cheers,

RED

Last edited on 26 Oct 2021 07:36 by REDESERT Show more

Re: My First SCP Idea, the “Void Machine”

Paroxyzm 26 Oct 2021 08:39

Thank-you for your reply! I'll try and answer your questions as best I can:

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What do you want to focus on most in the narrative?
Something about the whole 'Blackhole Event' idea. Maybe there's a character/conflict of interest that wants to use the Machine for evil? I'm not sure.

What about the skip are you looking to explore?
I believe an interesting aspect to explore is why the Machine was created in the first place, and trying to find out who created the Machine.

Are there any characters involved, if so what role do they play? Have you got any central conflicts in mind?
This is what I would like help with. I currently have no set-in-stone ideas for a storyline or characters to be involved with this SCP. So I'd love to read any input on brainstorming these ideas.

What do you generally want the payoff to look like, and should we be feeling about it (scared, angry, happy, sad ect.)?
I'm not too sure about what the payoff might look like, but I believe the overall feeling should be Scared. The risk of having the barrier break and the 'Blackhole event' to occur is something to explore further, for sure.

Like I said before, my Idea was pretty open ended to begin with so some of these questions are ones I need help answering. I want to find an interesting narrative to go with this Idea but I'm having trouble.

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Rhys 'Paroxyzm' Jordan

Last edited on 26 Oct 2021 08:44 by Paroxyzm Show more

Re: My First SCP Idea, the “Void Machine”

REDESERT 26 Oct 2021 09:30

hello!

SAND

+ show block

What about the skip are you looking to explore?
I believe an interesting aspect to explore is why the Machine was created in the first place, and trying to find out who created the Machine.

for now I'd recommend looking to flesh this aspect out a little more, as it could help you setup the payoff and the characters.- generally if you know what you're looking to convey/explore, building the narrative from there tends to be easiest, as there always a central idea to keep reference of.

That out of the way, here are some questions you could use to expand off of:
why was the skip originally made (what were this characters intentions/motives)?, what purpose is the skip meant to serve in-universe? what role should the former two questions play in the narrative as a whole? is there anything in particular you want to buildup to payoff wise, if so, what will make it inherently interesting to read about?

With that in mind, if you're really struggling to come up with anything, it might be worth taking some time to just experiment with the idea, or playing around adding and/or removing different aspects the concept.- sometimes combining different ideas, or looking at the same things that originally inspired the pitch, can really help it and the story develop further.

-above all, don't feel like there's an unforeseen time limit to this either, take as long as you need to experiment with this (my PMs and are always open if you have any questions/concerns)!

P.S, if you're looking to brainstorm real-time, it might be worth checking out IRC? as its usually easier to develop or exchange ideas (brainstorming wise at least) that way.

Let me know when you're ready for further crit :)

Cheers,

RED