I laughed way too hard at these puns lol, well done Mirage
Short, but effective. I like it, but feel something's diluting the end pun a little bit, though I can't think of any way to fix it. But it still works just fine, so take my upvote.
You know, it felt diluted to me too. Pretty sure it's 'cause the punchline wasn't at the very end, so I've rearranged the sentence to make it more punch-y and I think it works. Glad you enjoyed it!
I think you handled some real groaner puns in a way that made me smile and feel that my taste and intelligence were respected. I'm also happy to see a short and simple entry about a simple, straightforward, and low-stakes SCP.
I have no idea what a Quilworth stopper actually is, but I can infer that it doesn't involve any mechanical fasteners.
Glad you mentioned this, 'cause it turns out that Quillfeldt stoppers (flip-tops) are a type of clamp which is, in turn, a type of mechanical fastener. Oopsies. Time to slap on a plain ol' friction sealed cork like I shoulda done in the first place instead of tryin' to be all fancy with da words. Happy to hear it made you smile!