I have to agree with ARD for the most part here. I adore this idea and think you could have told a very compelling story regarding the history of the pyramid conspiracy theory. My problem is that the plot feels all too convenient for the characters. They go into the pyramids, discuss that something mysterious is going on, then are practically given the answer because the plot demands they had the answer so the story could end. There are no stakes for me to get invested in that it falls flat on, once again, a really intriguing anomaly.
My suggestion is to restructure this article. Have a team of scientists be looking into the conspiracy theory, talk to the conspiracy nuts and highly the whitewashed nature of this conspiracy (ignoring it is wholly irresponsible and detracts from this article), and conclude with this revelation that it was for the Egyptians to do something else other than tourism. The pyramids weren't made to be tourist traps, they were made to be tombs of their dead kings and honor their Gods. I don't know what the answer would be, but I know there is an interesting twist somewhere in this concept that would lead to a compelling story.
The final issue I have is with Nedjem. I feel there is a lot of missed opportunity with it, it's more of a meowing tool than anything else, and thus doesn't feel like a character. A cute cat that can communicate with other cats/get telepathic information could be a lot of fun to read, but this missed the mark by having such a short story and lack of characterization.
Unfortunate -1.
