Emalfi's Goodbye

Emalfi's Goodbye

(account deleted) 09 Aug 2021 00:49

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre: Emotional, Drama

Page Layout: Standard containment and description followed by the short-lived containment updates daily prior to the final day, as well as many interviews.

Elevator Pitch: Once seen as the greatest warrior of a land long ago, this nation's best leader gave way to being old and injuries.

Central Narrative: This great warrior, also known as Emalfi, was a beastly creature, who stood at approximately 10.2 meters tall, and weighed over 8 tons. Contrary to his past experience, Emalfi was completely peaceful with the SCP foundation and accepted all containment procedures. He spent his days sitting in his large containment cell, answering questions and even telling stories about his past to personnel. Because he was so kind and gentle, personnel's even entered the containment and made contact, to which Emalfi did not attack.

However, time seeped in. After over a half a decade of light-containment, during a bi-weekly interview with Emalfi, a particular question enraged Emalfi to the point where he breached containment and nearly destroyed the site he was contained at. With no other option, dispatch teams had to terminate Emalfi. Such a large, gentle creature, who connected with dozens of personnel emotionally, killed within an instance.

Hook: Irony in it's best form, a huge warrior giant that is completely peaceful with the personnel, hence the term "Gentle Giant". The hook here is the emotion and shock after his death, which left personnel upset because of the emotional connection.

Additional Notes: N/A

Last edited on 09 Aug 2021 03:19 by (account deleted) Show more

Re: The final days of a Gentle Giant

SirPlant 09 Aug 2021 00:56

if i could, i would greenlight this, its pretty good.

Forum Criticism Team - Junior Staff Post

Truc Linh 09 Aug 2021 02:34

Writerthatok, per the Site's Criticism Policy found here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/criticism-policy

Criticism should be helpful in some way.

Try to make sure you give enough criticism that an author can tell the quality of their entire concept/draft. Good critique suggests what the author did wrong and how to improve, or what they've done right that they should continue doing. What makes the concept ready for a greenlight? What exactly about it is good? What do you like and/or dislike about it? What could the author improve on? Please try to be more helpful when dropping feedback moving forward.

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This Life Is Mine

Re: The final days of a Gentle Giant

DtheAussie 09 Aug 2021 01:28

The idea has promise! My words on this:

+ the big giant mman

• Always keep in mind that emotional skips don't come from thin air. To make this truly Big Sad, perhaps add some history of the giant's life- events he's experienced, the things he's seen in his many years of walking the earth, hardships he'd endured. For a truly heartstring-tugging article, make sure that the character of Emalfi is properly fleshed out
• Adding on to that last point; "answering questions and even telling stories about his past to personne" is a perfect way of fleshing his character out. The multiple interviews you've mentioned will be perfect for that- just remember to be descriptive! Make sure to let the emotional beats hit harder!
• Two weeks of containment may not be enough for the Foundation to build such a strong relationship lest Emalfi has some cognito/infohazardous abilities (although whether he uses them intentionally or not, and for good or evil, is up to you). I'd suggest maybe years of containment up to his death to provide a sensibly strong bond between Emalfi and Foundation personnel.
• Even if he's gentle, the Foundation may not provide light containment. Comfortable perhaps, but considering his large stature the Foundation may keep things strict with him in general just in case he did ever go berserk (even if he didn't; the Foundation probably wouldn't know that opting to be safe rather than sorry)

Despite this- this is a really interesting idea. I can't greenlight stuff myself, but given the chance I more than likely would. Best of luck!

Re: The final days of a Gentle Giant

(account deleted) 09 Aug 2021 02:17

Thanks for the response,

In response to some of your concerns, the interviews and story-telling will be how the foundation knows of his backstory, and of course, they'll be long and interesting.

I'll probably add a couple years before his death, cause I suppose you're right about 2 weeks being too short. With these extra years, extra containment (just in case, like you said). Here's what I could do:

Emalfi was locked in containment for nearly half a decade, everyone assumed he was normal as can be. During his bi-weekly interview, he was asked a question that took a toll in Emalfi's behavior. Perhaps severely offending him, Emalfi was enraged and a team was dispatched to handle his outburst. Emalfi, being the size he is, easily broke out of containment and went on a rampage. Being left with no choice, the dispatch team had to terminate Emalfi via several gunshots to the head. This conflict and sudden and unexpected death of Emalfi really questioned his true motive, regardless, it took a serious emotional toll of several personnel.