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SCP-6608 / Discussion
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The narrative for this is just chef’s kiss nice.
+1
(account deleted)I really love your use of imagery! This was a trip and a joy to read/crit.
I'm also totally stealing the 'pepper the timetable throughout the interview' thing.
I really liked this article, but
An investigation of her home after this event uncovered the attached photo, tagged as "some weird animal I saw while stargazing".
wasnt this a hallucination? How could it be photographed? Apart from this, I liked this article. +1
The entity is a hallucination, but the scenery around it is real. A bit later on, there's this line:
The image metadata showed signs that it had been edited, and the team came to the conclusion that although she was convinced she had seen the entity, the photo itself was an artistic recreation
So she took the photo, hoping that it would capture the entity, but once she realized it wasn't there, she photoshopped in what she 'saw'.
Golly, I think this is well written in the strictest sense, I just didn't find it all that compelling.
I got a little tired of the mannerisms of this man ascending to "starhood" (like godhood but you know…a star :P ) after his eyes started to glow.
I also don't feel any threat at all here. There's some kind of spider like thing that spooks ya (like what? one person every couple of years, tops?) while you're out stargazing, and just oogles at you for a while till you look in to his eyes. This "reveals" the truth that there is some big ephemeral darkness that is bad and all the stars are just out there aglow to keep it from winning.
I suppose this is all some sort of reference to entropy always inexorably ripping the universe apart and how scary that is, and how these brave stars are somehow in a war to prevent it. That just doesn't click for me though.
I'm currently sitting on a -1, but I might return and just make it a no-vote because again, I think you wrote this rather well structurally.
Hammy, I love ya to death, but that won't make me sugarcoat how I feel about this article.
I resonate a lot with how Maggywaggy felt when they read this piece.
I think the dialogue is beautifully written and I really like the comradery between the two personnel, but it's all so explanatory.
The guy keeps going on how about they keep dreaming of touching stars and how they're gonna fight the infinite war against everlasting darkness, rinse and repeat, then he just great combustions into a new star.
When he becomes a new star, boom, he says the same thing again but in radio waves.
Imma novote. I love the concept and the dialogue is great, but it's repetitive and feels flat.
Ignore this. Just wikidot being shit as usual. Sorry.
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06