The Hunter and The Hunted / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page The Hunter and The Hunted.

Author Post

Dr Lerche 11 Jul 2021 13:26

Third work on the site.
First ever tale.
Credits:
Ecronak
Sirslash47
JayKillbam
Veralta does not match any existing user name
Mooagain
Limeyy
Marcelles Raynes does not match any existing user name
Vivarium

If I have forgotten anyone, please inform me. Sorry about that.

Plot Spoilers

+BEWARE: SPOILERS AHEAD

This is an expansion the story of SCP-6357 "The Assimilator". It is set after the events of North Korea.

You already have gotten the two twists:

1) Dr. Norbert Glenn being a serial killer and the actual "Ghoul of Ennepetal".

2) Maurice being The Assimilator and was responsible for not the murders but only the livestock killings and scavenges (Maurice was already dead due to the accident when the entity found it and ate the corpse.)

However there is a very subtle third twist for those who remember SCP-6357.

3) The entity can infect organisms with its cells which transmit information back to the main cluster.
In the very beginning, during the handshake, Norbert flinched as he was injected. From this, the entity learnt that Norbert was the serial killer. Fast forward to the very end, and notice that Anna flinches as well when the entity touches her face.

Now a host of SCP-6357, Anna , and many others, will inadvertently spread the cells across Germany and beyond as part of the entity's contingency plan against humanity.

Last edited on 23 Aug 2021 13:58 by Dr Lerche Show more

+1

RoninTortoise 11 Jul 2021 22:28

+1, loved it.

+ thoughts (spoilers?)

I especially liked how my expectation was subverted with Norbert being the one responsible rather than Maurice, but then that was subverted by revealing that Maurice is actually SCP-6357 and is responsible for killings that Norbert models his after. Super cool and well-executed!

+1

fairydoctor 12 Jul 2021 02:38

I mentioned in IRC what my major critique is of your piece and I said I would leave examples in the discussion page:

already drunk a cup

"drank a cup"

“I am actually lost,” he spoke in a slightly tired but sober tone.

"'I'm actually lost,'" contractions are typically used in conversations.

He looks down at his hands,

"looked down", throughout the piece you swap the tenses around. (You seem to be preferring present tense, so stick with that. Which would be "looks down" in this instance.)

However, since your piece was very engaging and well thought out I'm going to give it a +1

Re: +1

Dr Lerche 12 Jul 2021 14:01

Thank you mate.

They have been fixed.

The ghoul

Maxyfran73 12 Jul 2021 09:35

Alright, I like this. I like this a lot. The narrative here is good. Although I kinda foresaw the plot twist idea when the first 'pinprick' occurred, it didn't take away from the enjoyment of the piece. Particularly liked the 'ending' reveal with Maurice.

Overall, a good story with fun characters (As fun as 'hunters' can be anyhow). +1~

winkwonkboi 13 Jul 2021 15:02

This had me engaged throughout without fail. Really like this one.

+1

kantum 13 Jul 2021 20:01

Really nice lil tale. Obviously like others I was fully expecting Norbert to be the killer, didn't know it was related to 6357 either (which I'd read before), so that was a nice reveal. +1!