SCP-6991 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-6991.

Sirslash47 25 May 2021 07:15

Probably not the most mind-blowing or deadliest entry but hopefully still enjoyable. Good luck to everyone in the contest.

Thanks to my critters: Mooagain , Dr Lerche, cold_Nights does not match any existing user name, Parad00xx, Vivarium, Kensing, fairydoctor and some people I might have missed.

Apologies to all people that have arachnophobia.

I hope this pleases Mr. Squiddy くコ:彡 on the current SCP-6000 page as well.

Slot preference (left most wanted): SCP-6997, SCP-6007, SCP-6991, SCP-6011, SCP-6983

Edit: Got SCP-6991, nice!

Last edited on 02 Jul 2021 06:37 by Sirslash47 Show more

margssentif 25 May 2021 08:12

those are some very specific slot choices

+1

Kensing 25 May 2021 11:22

Spider's Gorge is pretty wild these days. This was both disturbing and engaging to read while in the draft stages, and I'm glad to see it up on the site.

Last edited on 25 May 2021 11:24 by Kensing Show more

So what if it is not mindblowing?

Assistant Null 26 May 2021 02:38

It is fun~ and I have another pin in diverse fun things to recommend for various different areas of the globe.

(account deleted) 28 May 2021 23:35

Personnel is prohibited from entering SCP-6000 without the approval of three site directors managing a site adjacent to the anomaly.

I think you mean "Personnel are prohibited from entering"

Other than that, I liked it. +1 (1 spider that is)

Fish^12 07 Jun 2021 07:35

This reminds me too much of the animals in Kong: Skull Island, so much so that it feels like a fanfic at the very least. The dialogue also strikes me as action movie cliche.

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bloop

Good idea that needs a bit of tweaking

Nota7andomguy 09 Jun 2021 20:35

Overall, your tone feels… off. The main body isn't clinical enough and the MTF dialog in the exploration log doesn't feel serious enough. It's all too much like casual conversation. But aside from that, great job. I like this article a lot.

sachiel187 10 Jun 2021 07:11

there's some SPaG here that i'd like to address at a later time, but for the most part, WOW. good look at a chasm of anomalous nastiness and a couple well-written MTF logs. very pleased with the end result — it's not trying too hard, and not overstaying its welcome. a good old fashioned MTF exploration SCP.

+1.

notgull 20 Jun 2021 19:50

It's alright. It's pretty straightforward: MTF goes in to new place and gets killed en masse by monsters, a tale as old as time. The spiders are reminiscent of SCP-1506, and I do have to wonder how they entered his mouth while he was wearing a gas mask? It really feels like it's trying to brute-force the horror aspect of spiders.

This SCP also has a problem with clunky-sounding sentences that make it hard to read at points. This line sticks out to me:

Aside from that ancient bastard, I'm seeing giant snakes and other animals I can't make out what they are supposed to be.

This is kind of a run-on sentence. There are quite a few of these throughout, and this article would certainly benefit from a once-over to ensure it flows naturally.

Unfortunately, I didn't really get anything from this. The skip introduces itself, it happens, and then I'm left in about the same place I started. You could probably play up a sense of dread from this. The monster here is spiders, but it could definitely be something else that's a tad bit more subtle then a metric ton of spiders. With some cleanup and rearrangement, I could probably flip my vote, but now this isn't nearly as electrifying as it could be.

-1

A new world

Maxyfran73 22 Jun 2021 08:17

I wanna like this. In a way, I do, but this is just… it's just too basic, really. The idea here is solid enough to work if the executed well but… But it just doesn't feels well executed.

You have the discovery of this world, and the fact that mythical species inhabit it is great, but then you make spiders kill people, not even playing into this cool idea of either mythology or extinct beasts getting them? I can't help but feel disappointed at the cliche of the resolution.

Talking about cliche, the MTF group just… Feels very simple, to the point of even feeling badly written. They overexplain and overreact and just… I dunno, their dialogue just feels very simplified. They don't feel natural.

I did like the overall concept and the discovery section, however. They were neat. As for the reast of the article… Feel like it needs quite a bit of rework. -1.

Last edited on 22 Jun 2021 08:20 by Maxyfran73 Show more

Re: A new world

Blaze_dragon 28 Oct 2021 18:09

I don't think I've read an article that has the mole rats ever coming out alive :/

This is interesting, but……

Tutu-sh 22 Nov 2023 05:25

The prospect of exploring unknown caves was very exciting to me, partly because I have a particular interest in dinosaurs and paleontology. However, the treatment of Austroraptor in this work is somewhat unsatisfactory.

First, Austroraptor is one of the largest dromaeosaurid dinosaurs. Even if Mobile Task Force were armed with firearms, they do not appear to be an easy opponent to defeat. They have sharp claws and teeth, agility far beyond that of humans, and a huge body. In the words of Nick Cutter about raptors in Primeval, "Do you know, in a fair fight, mammals wouldn't stand a chance".

Second, and this is the most objective discrepancy, Austroraptor is not described as of 2004, the time of the work. Even if Zeta-9-6 had a degree in paleontology instead of archaeology, there is no way he would have known in 2004 the name of the dinosaur to be named in 2008. The story is not bad, but this inconsistency in the timeline is quite disturbing.

P. S. I exported this work to SCP-JP. Thank you.

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Tutu-sh

Last edited on 22 Nov 2023 05:34 by Tutu-sh Show more