Say Cheese / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Say Cheese.

DarkStuff 30 Apr 2021 04:28

Okay, finally, a creepypasta definitively not about ghosts at all, not even slightly. Here you go. Another commission for nosleep, though I imagine I'll have to trim this before he can use it (it ended up being 3,200 words, that's 700 words over his limit, wowza!), so this is a special edition that won't make it into a YouTube video!

I said this about Smoking on Company Time, but I mean it for the second time when I say it about this one, I think this is my favorite creepypasta I have written so far. Why? Because I think it's my spookiest! I mean, look at all that sp00k! It's incredible! I didn't even know I had that much in me.

Thank you to:

• staccato_tomato does not match any existing user name
• Gamesofmax does not match any existing user name
• Tyumen

Oh, and big thanks to S D Locke for writing SCP-4910, the impetus for this article. I hope I did the spooks justice, even if the monster never really appeared.

An Uneasy +1

Spaser 30 Apr 2021 16:38

This one didn't really do it for me, like, I don't think it's bad, there are a lot of parts about it that I really did like, but for some reason it didn't really grab me as much as Parawatch usually does. I think my biggest issue with it was that the pacing and suspense didn't feel right, there were a lot of times where I could tell I was supposed to feel nervous but the scene felt rushed through so I didn't really feel anything. I think one of the reasons the suspense didn't really effect me was because the plot felt a bit predictable, early on in the story I felt like I already knew what was going to happen next and my expectations were never really subverted besides when the story revealed the old woman's second set of teeth.
That being said there were things I did like, like the idea in general I think is a really good one that I feel could be really interesting if done right, and the part where the main character was trying to make a voice message actually did do a good job of adding suspense. Overall while I did have some problems with the tale, I think It wasn't too bad and it was a nice quick read so I think I'll give it a +1 for now. I wish you the best of luck.

Last edited on 30 Apr 2021 16:48 by Spaser Show more

FluffyDog00 30 Apr 2021 19:02

This is a disturbing and well-executed extension of the original Grinner article. I couldn't help but cringe at some of those descriptions. Yuck.

+1

Last edited on 30 Apr 2021 19:03 by FluffyDog00 Show more