SCP-649 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-649.

Rewrite done

Sirslash47 05 Apr 2021 08:25

Thanks to my critters: Limeyy, tawnyowljones, Athenodora, Vivarium, Ayers, Doctor Vivaldi, fairydoctor, Ethagon, Re_spectators, and everyone I possibly forgot.

Yeah, so this rewrite… was a different challenge for me but kinda fun. The original concept was from AsmodeusDark which was rewritten by Anonymous in 2012.

Also only realized this after posting but I did not save the old tags to make it easier on the tag team, sorry!

Last edited on 07 Apr 2021 11:53 by Sirslash47 Show more

DrWhiteFox 05 Apr 2021 10:57

I’m a bit confused about the last part. Did all three D-classes were lost or only one?
Overall I think it was good. Though, i feel like it doesn’t have the same mystery vibe as the old one had, very unfortunate.
But it doesn’t hold back the confident writing.
+1

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Fox 🦊

Cole 13 05 Apr 2021 13:12

I remember reading this one in RJB_R's version! Great Job! +1

Tyumen 05 Apr 2021 13:37

I'm not really feeling this one. It seems to me that it accelerates much too fast and reveals the bulk of what makes it intriguing only at the very end, which makes it seem somewhat rushed and not as entertaining as it could be.

UraniumEmpire 05 Apr 2021 22:46

This.

Admittedly, this was also a problem in the original; here, the preceding log feels to me like it's meant to ease the reader into the reveal. The problem here is that it's too flatly delivered. "He murmured about how it was a beautiful winter evening." should have been the money line, but where and how it's written leaves it feeling bland.

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… and I'm not Robert Frost.

ratking666 06 Apr 2021 03:42

Gonna have to agree with Uranium here, that line had the potential to hit hard, but it was described so nonchalantly that it didn't have any effect.

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pastarasta1 is quick-talking and often scheming

notgull 05 Apr 2021 15:39

My main issue with this one is the typical Series I problem that it just kind of exists. That's not to say an SCP can’t succeed with this problem, look at SCP-804 for a delightful example. It’s just that anything that could be used to give depth to the anomaly appears only at the end of the SCP, and is barely explored.

Basically, this just needs more flesh on its bones. -1

Moirin 07 Apr 2021 04:32

I feel like it fits series one pretty well because it’s kind of barren I guess? I wish there were more storytelling components, or a reason why it would be considered an SCP rather than an entry in the anomalous items log.

On a completely unrelated note, are my eyes super tired or is it an optical illusion with the bottom of the matchbox looking like it jumps up and down when you scroll on the phone? It’s very distracting.

TL333s 18 Aug 2021 00:31

Oh, this was rewritten? Very nicely done! :) +1

Crow-Cat 15 Nov 2021 22:26

I'm pretty happy with this rewrite. Though an extra test log or two wouldn't hurt, I feel adding too much would bog down the article.

Bcadren 14 Feb 2022 04:21

Well was going to downvote UNTIL the second experiment log, which reversed my vote. Takes it from a boring anomalous object to a decent SCiP that.