SCP Idea: Ailment, A Severe Genetic Alteration

Summary:

I'm looking for greenlights on this SCP Article idea along with constructive criticism

SCP Idea: Ailment, A Severe Genetic Alteration

(account deleted) 31 Mar 2021 21:01

I'm looking for greenlights on this SCP Article idea along with constructive criticism on how to make the idea better. Apologies if this is too short, feel free to ask for more information!

I moved and trimmed your thread summary, since it was taking up extra space in the main forum screen. Try to keep thread descriptions (the text in the little box under the thread title) and titles short so you don't crowd out other authors in the forum listing. ~Zyn

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

+ Show Elevator Pitch, Central Narrative, Attention Grabber, and Additional Notes

Elevator Pitch: The anomaly is a deadly virus that thrives in warmer temperatures, such as a human body. It starts off in a liquid form, yet quickly advances into the actual virus form that it takes once its container and glass tube are opened. The virus can be reduced fully into liquid form once exposed to subzero temperatures. The cell that it is contained in has installed temperature control options for this reason, to avoid any deaths that do not need to happen. Within three minutes of having the virus, the host cannot be cured of the virus and should be put to death as soon as they can be (excluding testing purposes).

Central Narrative: The anomaly is extremely dangerous and painful, taking up to an hour to kill off someone who has been infected. After fifteen minutes of infection, a hole will begin to form in the center of their chest that gradually grows in size over the time that they are infected. They will be alive during this, able to feel everything that is happening to their body while experiencing severe hallucinations from the five minute mark up until their death.

Along with these effects are others, such as the feeling of breathlessness one who was infected might feel. Some notable psychological effects are hallucinations, like several audible and visible aspects. Infected persons might also relive their past in vivid memories, similar to the "Life Review" effect that accompanies death. Memories go by slower during this, as the current host of the virus has more time before death to see their past. Infected typically see the negative memories, especially common in persons with C-PTSD and things of the such.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: I believe my idea is different than other ideas, as it's not typically seen within the wiki (from what I've seen). Adding onto that, the effects that the virus causes also makes the idea stand out, due to how bizarre they are. The concept of the virus itself is very interesting to me personally due to these things, and I'd love to see Tales that might end up being written based off of it.

Additional Notes: I've had the idea in my drafts for over a year now, so if there's any SCPs that have already been written that are just like this one, please inform me so I can alter my idea according to them.

Edit: I put the longer information into a collapsible to make sure it took up less room on the post.
Edit Two: I trimmed down the four sections in the collapsible to fit their word count limit.

Last edited on 01 Apr 2021 12:14 by (account deleted) Show more

Forum Criticism Team - Captain Post

Zyn 01 Apr 2021 05:39

ETA: addressed, thank you! Please reach out to reviewers to request feedback as needed. You can look at this thread for options to contact reviewers: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282692/how-to-get-more-reviews

Last edited on 02 Apr 2021 07:13 by Zyn Show more

Re: Forum Criticism Team - Captain Post

(account deleted) 01 Apr 2021 11:51

Ah, apologies, thank you for reminding me!

Re: SCP Idea: Ailment, A Severe Genetic Alteration

caspian2 08 Apr 2021 05:28

Summoned by PM:

Hi Parad00xx. It appears as though you're trying to cram as many anomalous effects into your virus-scp as possible. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. The concept sounds cool at the end of the day, but you don't provide us with any background, reason for why the virus is behaving this way or why it is having these effects on its victims.

What does breathlessness, hallucinations and a giant hole in your chest got to do with reliving past memories? All the effects appear disconnected from one another, and the sum of the parts do not make a better whole.

I would highly suggest either 1) trimming down the anomalous effects - tell us exactly what is unique about the virus, and stick to that, or 2) revising the idea completely. Honestly, the virus thing has been done to death and it's very difficult for you to create something unique without a narrative that surrounds it.

What you have in the Central Narrative segment, for example, is NOT a narrative, but simply extra details about the scp's properties. A normal narrative involves specific characters and events surrounding their interactions with the scp. This entire section needs to be revised.

If you decide to do so, please drop me another PM and I'll try my best to respond. All the best for now!