SCP-5572 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5572.

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WELCOME TO THE BONE BATALLION, MAGGOT.

Ralliston 29 Mar 2021 12:52

It ain't me, it ain't me,
I ain't no senator's son, son
It ain't me, it ain't me,
I ain't no fortunate one

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Well, this was a hell (hehe) of a ride.

I'd like to begin by saying a massive thank you to my co-author, Trotskyeet, who made this so much better than I possibly could've done myself.

Secondly, I'd like to thank all people who critted this before we posted and helped us figure out some (not all!) of the puns present within this article: Placeholder McD | GremlinGroup | Dysadron | Kish99 | Cole 13 | S D Locke | Reyas | R4_EX | Rose the Changeling | Lamentte | Dr Leonerd. Additional massive thanks to Woedenaz for coming up with Surratt's full name and to Tyumen for giving Björn Björnsson his!

Yes, it is inspired by a meme — cybersqyd however confirmed in #site17 it is okay to use it as inspiration if we went actually in-depth into the consequences of being drafted to a skeleton war and told an original story, which we did. The title is a direct reference to Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival.

IMPORTANT: This article uses edited quotes from Soldier's Creed. We do not claim this text as our own, it is merely meant to be a parody-reference of the original. Elenee FishTruck and Hexick confirmed it is okay to use it and attribute it the way we did just now. The definition of the Terminal object class is an edited version of the one present in Nagiros's Comprehensive List of Esoteric Classes. All other citation and attribution is provided in the info Ayers Infomodule.

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~ come to the ralliston coolpage funpage for more of his garbage ~

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~ and then do the same for trotskyeet ~

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Last edited on 21 Mar 2022 10:59 by Ralliston Show more

Jay_bird_speaks 29 Mar 2021 13:29

In the third paragraph, first log, it says a sound “coming from within around them” its a quick fix :)

Also I would consider changing calling the red creatures with horns from being called demons to being called SCP-5572-1, it makes more sense for the researchers transcribing the log to call them that.

Last edited on 29 Mar 2021 13:37 by Jay_bird_speaks Show more

Ralliston 29 Mar 2021 13:36

Oooops, fixed — thanks a ton for the catch!

+100

Kensing 29 Mar 2021 14:29

Alrighty, when reading the description/conprocs, I wasn't really that invested, but when the logs started is a completely different story. I really enjoyed the weird, surreal worldbuilding, and the ending was the icing on the cake for me.

100% one of the most entertaining articles I've read in a long time!

Re: +100

Ralliston 29 Mar 2021 16:12

I won't lie, the ending is the part I was the most nervous about — but I'm really glad to see it works! Thanks a lot for the kind words!

MuseofScience 29 Mar 2021 14:51

This is so crazy and stupid and I love it so much +1

Ralliston 29 Mar 2021 16:09

Really happy to see our intention of being as over the top as possible worked for you :)

R4_EX 29 Mar 2021 15:14

I knew this would be a good article, i could feel it in my bones +1

Ralliston 29 Mar 2021 16:13

I would make the same pun as in the reply below, but I am sure that would grind the bones of some people :P

DrWhiteFox 29 Mar 2021 15:26

Haha, it was so good to read. The bone joke are fucking amazing.
+1

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Fox 🦊

Ralliston 29 Mar 2021 16:08

I am glad you found them humerus :P

+1

Cole 13 29 Mar 2021 15:43

I am very glad its out!

Re: +1

Ralliston 29 Mar 2021 16:14

So am I! On a serious note though — thanks for checking it out before and after we posted! ^^

Novote

AnActualCrow 29 Mar 2021 19:27

I liked the world you were trying to set up, but it almost feels like the story is biting off more than it can chew. Developing 4 characters and the world in the SCP format isn't easy, and I feel like none of them get the time/development they deserve as a result. The best example of this is the idea that all of the items in hell get there by either being buried with whoever died (e.g. Surratt's suit) or occasionally fall through from the overworld into the underworld (e.g. Beethoven's pipe). This is a really interesting concept, but the ways that this would alter how the skeletons live(?) and fight is never explored. Do they turn dead skeletons into weapons/tools to save on materials? Do they treasure the rare book or board game that falls through? Have some of the skeletons been trying to teach themselves how to use modern technology? Exploring this idea could add a lot of depth to the world and characters, but it ends up being a dropped point in favor of moving the story along.

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Forum signatures were a mistake.

Re: Novote

Ralliston 29 Mar 2021 19:32

There are all definitely valid criticisms — I will definitely try to talk to my co-author and play around with some ideas on how to fix that. Thanks a ton!

EstrellaYoshte 17 Apr 2021 20:15

Novote.

The story is decently engaging in parts, but it struggles with the sheer amount of things it has to juggle.
The part that shines (the camaraderie between Bjorn, Beethoven and Surratt) ends up falling out of focus in favor of a conclusion that's, not out of left field per se, ultimately barely connected to the thematic undertaking of the article.

Last edited on 17 Apr 2021 22:54 by EstrellaYoshte Show more

Ralliston 17 Apr 2021 22:53

Thanks a ton for the comment and the tagging, I appreciate it a lot! ^^

+1

Draven Addams 20 Jun 2021 12:44

I am devastated by all of these puns. Also, how can a skeleton be obese?

Re: +1

Ralliston 21 Jun 2021 15:30

Also, how can a skeleton be obese?

It can't; for some fucking reason, I find the concept of a fat skeleton extremely goddamned funny, thus the inclusion of this ridiculous idea :p

Re: +1

TorumSie 11 Aug 2021 20:31

Maybe he was the first one in history to REALLY be big boned, rather than big flesh wrapped around those bones…..

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