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WELCOME TO THE JAM
Futility is real. Hubris is not.
Since someone's going to ask: yes, I wrote every single word of this, and sourced every image, after the theme dropped at midnight.
The book component was made by Croquembouche, memorably deployed for the truly excellent Worry Worry by
faminepulse during the Canon Renaissance Contest.
Thanks to Grigori Karpin for checking it out.
Just the initial image is worth the read alone, but it's the snippets of Hubris and the logs of the Agent on the ship that really cinch this as comedy gold. There's subversive absurdity to every reaction of the Gigantic's crew that feels dreamlike and most reminds me of Monty-Python dialogue.
The fact that Futility is a real thing makes my head hurt. Reality needs to start making sense.
Anyway, read this gem people, it's terrific.
Good to see the Gigantic is getting some attention, her sister, the Titanic is always getting the attention.
You actually made me fact check what parts of this article were fiction and which actually happened. The answers shocked me, to say the least.
Anyways, this is super entertaining. The logs are hilarious, especially the "It's for the King?" towards the end. A great way to keep the actual documentation on-tone while also adding levity using the characters. And, god, that image.
I can always count on you to write an entertaining article, apparently in less than 24 hours too!
Thank you! I had an absolute ball, and I agree that the real story with Futility is a hard act to follow. Glad you liked it, and very much appreciate the comment :D
harry, you write dialogue like few others on the site, and your tone — even at the story's bleakest points — retains a clinically appropriate joviality, as though even at the end everything is going to turn out okay.
+1, good luck in jamcon.
Just what I needed to hear after another long night of writing, thank you very much. "A Clinically-Appropriate Joviality" is my new band name. I've never thought about it that way before, but it does make sense; how can the narrator be so chill if it's not gonna be alright?
Luck's been alright so far, let's see if I can get a bit extra from your wish.
My only real complaint is that the image gives the wrong impression of what's to come, and doesn't add up after reading (given that the Gigantic is a full ship rather than a model a single person could tow).
Besides that, it's a novel concept and I enjoyed the grounded approach to both the article's historicity and how the Foundation's countermeasures were devised and implemented.
I handwaved the image in a footnote, I call no foul :D
Glad you liked it, I had a lot of fun! Thanks.
I'm not usually one for articles like this, spanning off "real world anomalies", but this one somehow hits the mark. The verisimilitude is off the charts from every angle, and though the writing gets prosaic toward the end, this is really wonderful. +1
Thanks! Sometimes the real world is the anomaly.
Wish more people would read this one, I really had a blast with it.
Truly, the greatest force in the world is British hatred of the French.
Excellent and hilarious article.
Thank you! I'll never quite manage to hate JamCon, because otherwise I wouldn't have churned this sucker out.
This is really silly in concept, and it works wonderfully. I don't have much more to add.
I do have to ask, though, why is this classed as Maksur? Nothing stated really seems to imply that the sub-designatees should be kept away from each other.
Is it supposed to say "Pox Britannia" instead of "Pax Britannica"?
Not sponsored by TOBAR
