Prehistoric Park idea

Summary:

Its an idea I've been working on for a while

Prehistoric Park idea

DrBakalli 28 Jan 2021 15:35

Its an idea I've been working on for a while and with a few tweaks I think it will be ready to be posted. I was inspired by both the real life project Pleistocene Park, as well as by one of my favorite SCP's, SCP-1265, which I have referenced in my article. I have a few more things which I will add later on, but for now any feedback on how to improve would be great

I moved and trimmed your thread summary, since it was taking up a lot of space in the main forum screen. Try to keep thread descriptions (the text in the little box under the thread title) short so you don't crowd out other authors in the forum listing. ~Zyn

Seeking Greenlights: No

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre (Optional): History, Nature

Page Layout (Optional):

Elevator Pitch:
-This scp is a large area of land in Siberia. It is home to extinct animals from the Ice-Age and a tribe of humans hunters

Central Narrative: Many animals thought to be extinct still live in this SCP. Mammoths, Woolly Rhinos and Saber-toothed cats can all be found here, along with a human tribe who is a relic of how life used to be like for our species. I'm still not ready to post it so it would be nice to get some ideas on where I can improve

Hook/Attention-Grabber: This is a very unorthodox SCP as it's not your traditional ghost or monster, but an area of land frozen in time. It contains animals that we had almost forgotten, as well as our own species in it's ancient and primitive form.

Additional Notes:As of now I want to improve my Addendums, as I have some very interesting ideas I want to add to this article. Any tips on what traditionally goes into an addendum would be greatly appreciated. This is my first time writing an SCP so all the help would be great.

Last edited on 29 Jan 2021 04:27 by Zyn Show more

Re: Prehistoric Park idea

optimistic_moth 28 Jan 2021 18:14

I read through and I think this would make for a pretty good SCP. However, there isn't really any story here whatsoever. The idea is kind of just "yeah the ice age is taking place in this patch of land" and that's it. I think it would be cool to add a discovery/exploration log after you've come up with a good idea of what the main narrative is. Also, it would be nice to further explain how the area of land is "frozen in time." I would guess that it would be a lot warmer than an actual ice age, in which many of these prehistoric creatures need very cold temperatures to live. Is there is a new ice age just kind of happening in this one specific spot? How would these early forms of humans be there? I think that you should try to fill in all the blanks. Great idea, just needs some working on. Also, I did a quick scan of the draft (which you aren't supposed to post unless a reviewer asks for it..), and it looks pretty good. Although, in Addendum XXXX.1, for each creature, you link a Wikipedia article about them. From the standpoint of SCP, it wouldn't be too great if Wikipedia articles were being liked in highly-classified files. Other than that, great idea! (Quick note: I cannot greenlight)

Re: Prehistoric Park idea

DrBakalli 28 Jan 2021 22:04

Thanks a lot man all these points really gave me some ideas as what to do next. Will definitely work on this article during these days, and fill in some details!

Re: Prehistoric Park idea

AtalantaB 28 Jan 2021 15:43

Interesting, but I'm curious what kind of narrative are you hoping to tell using this setting and time?

JS Staff Post -- Forum Crit -- Info

The_Spider_Queen 28 Jan 2021 19:25

Howdy hey AtalantaB,

As per the site Criticism Policy, forum critique should be relatively in-depth. Please edit your post to give the author a clearer direction to follow and note how your suggestions will improve their material. If you are unsure about approaching a more in-depth critique, feel free to let an experienced reviewer respond first so your critique can build on theirs.

For more information on giving critique in the Ideas Critique forum, please look at this thread.

---

Author,

I suggest reaching out to someone on the Butterfly Squad Roster to seek additional critique on your idea.

Thank you.

Re: Prehistoric Park idea

DrBakalli 28 Jan 2021 22:06

A lot of people pointed that out and fairly so, the article lacks a story and has some plot points. Will work on all these things. The feedback is really helping me improve both my writing and the SCP. Thanks a lot!

Re: Prehistoric Park idea

Kayexe 28 Jan 2021 16:13

I think it's a pretty good concept, but it has no real narrative whatsoever. It's just "ice age place go brr heehee". I think if you added an actual narrative like personnel going and exploring there, maybe it would be a better concept but right now it's just kind of empty.

Re: Prehistoric Park idea

Kayexe 28 Jan 2021 16:14

Oh, and also don't post your draft in the ideas forum unless requested by a reviewer. Just don't.

Admin Post - Info - Open

Zyn 29 Jan 2021 04:59

Kayexe, instead of replying to your own comments, please edit your previous post using the "edit" function under the "options" tab to the lower right of every comment. That prevents spam buildup, and it's in the rules.

Re: Admin Post - Info - Open

Kayexe 29 Jan 2021 17:29

Oh, sorry

Re: Prehistoric Park idea

DrBakalli 28 Jan 2021 21:58

Lmaooo. Im working on an narrative and plan to add logs and addendums. Thanks for all the help and tips man

Re: Prehistoric Park idea

Kayexe 28 Jan 2021 22:15

Welcome :)

JS Staff Post -- Forum Crit -- Info

The_Spider_Queen 28 Jan 2021 19:25

Author, per the required forum guidelines:

Do not link to a sandbox unless a reviewer asks to see a draft.

Instead, please use the standardized template for concepts found here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282684/required-reading:how-to-use-this-forum-ideas
Additionally, please do not copy-paste portions of a sandbox draft into the template in lieu of actually filling out the sections. If you are unsure of what the post should look like, look around other threads within this forum.

Once you have reviewed the guidelines, please edit your post to the correct format rather than creating a new thread, and if you are having trouble editing, click the "edit" function under the "options" tab to the lower right of your post. Please feel free to then reach out to a reviewer for your concept: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282692/how-to-get-more-reviews

Re: JS Staff Post -- Forum Crit -- Info

DrBakalli 28 Jan 2021 22:01

I'll do that right now but is there a way to link my article so that people can read the whole thing. This is not an SCP-Idea, its a full article so people need to read all of it. Thanks in advance!

Re: JS Staff Post -- Forum Crit -- Info

The_Spider_Queen 28 Jan 2021 22:05

If they ask, its alright to link them. However, it is expected that you be able to get your story across in the idea post rather than expecting people to read a draft right now.

Re: JS Staff Post -- Forum Crit -- Info

DrBakalli 28 Jan 2021 22:08

Right now I understand that linking your whole article in this type of forum doesn't really make sense. I removed it and will add further explanation in my thread. Thanks!