SCP-5267 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5267.

Author Post

Grigori Karpin 16 Jan 2021 05:31

Most articles that discuss the Daeva aren't super in depth, this isn't that different, but I hoped to add a little character in the mix… instead of faceless boogey creatures that vanished a long time ago.

Also I desperately want to visit Mongolia, what a beautiful place it seems to be.

---

Thank you to my Critters: HarryBlank, Veralta, Marcelles_Raynes, Dysadron

Hecatoncheires Cycle Hub

Last edited on 17 Jan 2021 10:05 by Grigori Karpin Show more

HarryBlank 16 Jan 2021 06:00

It's always fun to go on a road trip with Site-91 people and meet new friends who want us all dead! And it's always a pleasure to read your excellent stuff.

Marcelles_Raynes 16 Jan 2021 08:19

[Holdplacer comment]

---

~ M.D.R.

Dr Moned 16 Jan 2021 14:33

More Daeva stuff is always welcome :D

+1

Dysadron 16 Jan 2021 19:48

This is really good fun from start to finish. I'm interested to see what happens with the Matriarch!

Last edited on 16 Jan 2021 19:48 by Dysadron Show more

Nagiros 18 Jan 2021 17:23

Had some thoughts on this, mostly disconnected. The overall flow of the story I very much enjoyed — haven't been keeping up with the preceding action but it oddly didn't detract from the experience.

+ Minor criticisms?

• Some of the dialogue at the beginning of the exploration log is fairly wooden/unnatural, lacking contractions and such. Unsure if this is just a character voice thing, though.
• It's particularly disorienting to go from a Foundation thaumatologist disempowering and restraining a demigoddess to a group of new assailants breaking out the evil lady "offscreen", as it were. I understand why it happens, the Matriarch needs to be in play for later in your story, but the exploration log ended on such a triumphant note that it's odd to immediately turn around on that as soon as the log ends.
• I can't for the life of me find where the .note div's css is coming from but it's visually unappealing; the small font size coupled with the light-gray background on a white collapsible block mean its difficult to read, 'least for me. I preferred the kinda brown coloration of the previous collapsible.

Anyways, good stuff.

Grigori Karpin 19 Jan 2021 00:37

The first and last notes are helpful and I’ll try to implement some changes (the div is easy)

The middle note is probably due to taste, at first I was thinking about focusing on the action of the escape… but eventually I realized I wanted to focus more on characterization (as she didn’t have that much of a chance to solidify in the exploration log into a person) and I came upon the idea of just focusing in on this tiny section.

Also I sorta like that the foundation went from “ha! We win!” to getting the rug pulled out from under them… in the end the article was already long, so I decided the important stuff was what I needed to narrow in on.

Anyway! Thanks for reading and the kind words!

Genshed 18 Jan 2021 21:14

Cult of slug worshippers?

I think I understood that reference.

Grigori Karpin 19 Jan 2021 01:35

oh good! (also thanks for reading!)

do_the_right_thing 08 Feb 2021 20:39

Immersive and surprisingly contemplative.

---

Spoon!

Grigori Karpin 13 Feb 2021 08:45

Thank you for the read and the kind words

Maxyfran73 15 Nov 2021 02:57

Oh wait, I'd read this one before. Didn't remember it was part of Hecatoncheires, damn.

Well, I like this: More introductions, and it's finally delineated that the 'slug worshippers' and the Daeva are opposing forces. Not that it wasn't there before, considering the 'lab' but it's nice to see regardless. Wonder how Chernoff fits into all this…

As for the rest, man, they should teach these MTFs better de-escalation techniques. Things weren't looking good before Douglas three tapped the Matriarch.

Anyhow, liked this one before, like this one still +1

Grigori Karpin 15 Nov 2021 03:19

spoilers

Chernoff is who showed up to free the Matriarch at the end, she refers to him as Leonid and treats him like a subordinate.

Maxyfran73 15 Nov 2021 04:39

Spoilers

Oh sorry, I didn't mean regarding this article, but the overall story: Why is Chernoff on the side of the Daeva? When did he meet the Matriarch, under which circumstances, and so on. It doesn't seems he was into Daeva worship during his GRU-P days, but by Fox Hunt he was doing rituals, carving people, the whole shebang. Was wondering 'bout that on my post.