SCP-5267 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5267.

Author Post

Grigori Karpin 16 Jan 2021 05:31

Most articles that discuss the Daeva aren't super in depth, this isn't that different, but I hoped to add a little character in the mix… instead of faceless boogey creatures that vanished a long time ago.

Also I desperately want to visit Mongolia, what a beautiful place it seems to be.

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Thank you to my Critters: HarryBlank, Veralta, Marcelles_Raynes, Dysadron

Hecatoncheires Cycle Hub

Last edited on 17 Jan 2021 10:05 by Grigori Karpin Show more

HarryBlank 16 Jan 2021 06:00

It's always fun to go on a road trip with Site-91 people and meet new friends who want us all dead! And it's always a pleasure to read your excellent stuff.

Marcelles_Raynes 16 Jan 2021 08:19

[Holdplacer comment]

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~ M.D.R.

Dr Moned 16 Jan 2021 14:33

More Daeva stuff is always welcome :D

+1

Dysadron 16 Jan 2021 19:48

This is really good fun from start to finish. I'm interested to see what happens with the Matriarch!

Last edited on 16 Jan 2021 19:48 by Dysadron Show more

Nagiros 18 Jan 2021 17:23

Had some thoughts on this, mostly disconnected. The overall flow of the story I very much enjoyed — haven't been keeping up with the preceding action but it oddly didn't detract from the experience.

+ Minor criticisms?

• Some of the dialogue at the beginning of the exploration log is fairly wooden/unnatural, lacking contractions and such. Unsure if this is just a character voice thing, though.
• It's particularly disorienting to go from a Foundation thaumatologist disempowering and restraining a demigoddess to a group of new assailants breaking out the evil lady "offscreen", as it were. I understand why it happens, the Matriarch needs to be in play for later in your story, but the exploration log ended on such a triumphant note that it's odd to immediately turn around on that as soon as the log ends.
• I can't for the life of me find where the .note div's css is coming from but it's visually unappealing; the small font size coupled with the light-gray background on a white collapsible block mean its difficult to read, 'least for me. I preferred the kinda brown coloration of the previous collapsible.

Anyways, good stuff.

Grigori Karpin 19 Jan 2021 00:37

The first and last notes are helpful and I’ll try to implement some changes (the div is easy)

The middle note is probably due to taste, at first I was thinking about focusing on the action of the escape… but eventually I realized I wanted to focus more on characterization (as she didn’t have that much of a chance to solidify in the exploration log into a person) and I came upon the idea of just focusing in on this tiny section.

Also I sorta like that the foundation went from “ha! We win!” to getting the rug pulled out from under them… in the end the article was already long, so I decided the important stuff was what I needed to narrow in on.

Anyway! Thanks for reading and the kind words!

Genshed 18 Jan 2021 21:14

Cult of slug worshippers?

I think I understood that reference.

Grigori Karpin 19 Jan 2021 01:35

oh good! (also thanks for reading!)

do_the_right_thing 08 Feb 2021 20:39

Immersive and surprisingly contemplative.

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Spoon!

Grigori Karpin 13 Feb 2021 08:45

Thank you for the read and the kind words