The Mekhanics of La Rue Part Two / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page The Mekhanics of La Rue Part Two.

Also known as: The Mekhanics Take Flight!

BlueJones 09 Jan 2021 20:24

Ahhh this has been a bit stressful writing it to make sure I didn't downgrade the characters or story! AM sorry for the wait!

Anyways on to the thanks! I would like to thank Cydhra, Mooagain, Vivarium, Mars, and Quadraginta for the critique and willingness to help me make sure this is as good as I can do with my… lack of writing techniques. I also wanna thank MalyceGraves and plaidypus for creating both the world of La Rue Macabre and the Mekhanics cause it is a lot of fun to write for the world.

And as always thank you for reading this, reader! I'm just happy to know your reading this.

(PS I am very sorry for the stiff prose, my skills are still terrible at writing in tale form)

Quadraginta 09 Jan 2021 22:24

There were a lot of improvements since I last looked at this piece. The first half definitely felt a lot better and did a good job at drawing me in. The action scene felt more energetic like an action scene should.

Despite what I said, though, the second half still fell a little short and had a good deal of stiffness, but the enjoyment level trumps it just enough for me to give an upvote. It's not my favorite piece I ever read, but it's always good to see dedication.

+1

Last edited on 09 Jan 2021 22:25 by Quadraginta Show more

Marceline_Raynes 09 Jan 2021 22:59

Been waiting a long time for this, and I'm glad how it turned out!

+1

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~ M.D.R.

Vivarium 10 Jan 2021 00:33

I'm glad to finally see the continuation of Josephine and Benjamin's journey. Really good stuff Blue.

+1

YellowISlol 20 Jan 2021 03:09

it is a crime that it took me so long to read this. this is immensely good.

+1

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~~~🐜Ant boi baby🐜~~~

do_the_right_thing 12 Feb 2021 13:53

The action was hard to follow but I very much enjoyed this coming off the first one enough to overlook that, these characters feel fully realized. I really like Josephine, she's sassy like me :)

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Spoon!