SCP-5965 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5965.

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Dysadron 06 Jan 2021 18:30

Reserved for author post

Edit: Over a year after posting, probably about time I actually wrote an author post for this article. I owe HarryBlank, Grigori Karpin, and Pedagon a lot for their critique and general support on getting this drafted and posted. This is by no means a perfect article — but, at the time I wrote it, it did what I needed it to do. The catharsis helped. Writing for the wiki tangibly improved things irl.

I'm very grateful for the friends and experiences I've gained through this community.

Last edited on 24 Apr 2022 23:26 by Dysadron Show more

Uncle Nicolini 06 Jan 2021 18:51

At first I was appreciating this for the dark humor of having someone fall to their death over and over in front of their loved ones, but the second addenda tried (and failed, at least for me) to make it an emotional gutpunch. I don't like to novote, but I'll leave it at that because I greatly enjoyed the dark humor, even if it was unintentional.

MetalRavioli 06 Jan 2021 19:05

Man, that last part hit me hard.
+1

-1

JakdragonX 06 Jan 2021 19:08

I can't upvote in good faith. Not because it lacks in writing quality, imagery, or insinuation. But frankly, that final addendum seems to be the crutch of the entire narrative and it just… falls flat. The dialogue may be a part of that, but I find that the interaction between the two characters feels pretty baseless. The people that Asare are supposedly mad at have no significance to me as a reader, since nothing about them has been mentioned prior. It feels like it's grasping at heartstrings, but doesn't have enough sustenance for me to really feel the tugs. The insinuation that you're trying to present was also missed for me, which lessened the impact of the ending as well.¹

I also think the ending misses its impact with the ambiguity that you've presented. Along with that, the application of that ambiguity onto the characters also feels missed. Like, yes, we understand that "oh, this thing only affects those that weren't there for its demise" but how does that translate onto me as a reader? How does that translate onto my connection to Asare?

EDIT I have been told by HarryBlank of the numerous "impact" puns that have been scattered throughout my review. I… didn't mean any of these, so whoops.

Footnotes

1. Probably my fault, but that still doesn't change anything.

Last edited on 07 Jan 2021 16:51 by JakdragonX Show more

-1

JakdragonX 06 Jan 2021 19:08

[removed, internet error caused duplicate post]

Last edited on 06 Jan 2021 19:08 by JakdragonX Show more

-1

JakdragonX 06 Jan 2021 19:08

[removed, internet error caused duplicate post. Sorry.]

Last edited on 06 Jan 2021 19:09 by JakdragonX Show more

HarryBlank 06 Jan 2021 21:32

For me, the metaphor made perfect sense and the sense of coping with the loss of a loved one came through beautifully, with the black humour of the actual anomaly acting as an interesting counterpoint. I think this is terrific.

I feel that the invocation of grief isn't meant to be specific to the character in the skip, but universal, and for me it works.

Last edited on 06 Jan 2021 23:56 by HarryBlank Show more

Grigori Karpin 07 Jan 2021 10:17

As someone who lost a close family member in a traumatic way, this hits home. Some may think the final log is too on the nose but I find it incredibly haunting… I lived this person’s pain, and Dysadron perfectly captures the feelings of loss and permanence that so haunted me for years after my mother died.

It’s a hell of an article

Awkward Mudkip 10 Jan 2021 18:50

So the death of the guy repeats until his friend gets over it (?)

The addendum does make you feel sad for the guy, though. Too well written to not upvote. +1

J Dune 02 Aug 2021 03:44

Seriously underrated. The tonal whiplash going from a weird, dark, slightly comedic anomaly to a heart-wrenching interview that so accurately captures feelings of loss in a human, relatable way really made this piece pop. I can tell it came from the heart.

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