Halfway Found, Halfway Lost / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Halfway Found, Halfway Lost.

My First Long Tale

Ralliston 02 Jan 2021 12:41

The following article is a part of the And Every Time We Meet Again storyline. Whilst you can read it on its own, it's highly recommended you read the previous installments to get this article in its fullest.

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Massive thank you to these people for crit:

R4_EX| Veralta | Ethagon and the absolutely wonderful HarryBlank | Dysadron | Pedagon who are absolute treasures to this community and helped me work out the final product of this immensely.

The Site-120 logo used in the header was created by EstrellaYoshte for the purpose of all articles regarding such. Please check out more of their absolutely stellar work here.

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~ check my authorpage out (it has dog photos) ~

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~ for the rest of the series, visit the series hub! ~

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Last edited on 23 Nov 2021 12:58 by Ralliston Show more

do_the_right_thing 08 Feb 2021 17:45

Mmm. The details in here are enticing and the dialogue is natural in places, but the overall structure of this piece is brittle from repetition. So many of the lines start off the same way that it gets mentally exhausting before you have to begin scrolling to keep reading. There's no sense of flow, it reads like the story is being barked at the reader.

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Spoon!

Ralliston 08 Feb 2021 18:24

Looking back, I do agree that it’s not my best work, far from it, but I do feel like writing this one has helped me realize how to actually write them big tales. I extremely appreciate the crit, and will definitely keep it in mind for the future.

do_the_right_thing 08 Feb 2021 18:35

We learn more when we do not succeed than from when we do succeed, yeah?

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Spoon!

My-Off-Day 09 Jan 2022 20:02

Good read overall, nice fleshing out of the plot.

I do agree with above. Early pacing drags a little, but once we hit the disappearance of the threatening objects, it goes to a nice speed. The ending bits with the anomaly and post-op were the best IMO. +1