Summoned by PM. My apologies for the delay.
Every event here feels motivated not by actual events, but by the desire to create the story you are creating. By that I mean, this doesn't feel like a naturally evolving story, it feels like a manufactured one. Particularly in terms of the discovery of the anomaly and it's backstory, which feels particularly built around the constraints of the already existing story. Why the events happen is explained, but don't feel particularly natural. This is a vague critique so I won't spend much time on it, but it's the biggest overarching issue for me.
As 
Truc Linh mentioned, this also just isn't a particularly unique story and it doesn't stand well on its own. A demigod, conflict amongst gods, "super-gods", an alternate dimension, and a containment/discovery focused narrative is a dense combination of tropes which struggle to fit together at the best of times, and don't bring anything unique or interesting to the table on their own or together. Put simply, the site audience is unlikely to be a fan of something constructed exclusively out of elements they've already seen many times before - not just seen within the SCP format either, but within fiction at large.
Finally, I want to give a little more detail on the narrative issues. What you currently have is a containment/discovery focused narrative, with a little bit of a mystery on the side. The issue there is that containment narratives are generally overdone and generic, as well as having a generally obvious core conflict that makes the tension feel lacklustre - either the Foundation does or does not contain the anomaly, but they do 99% of the time so there's far less intrigue. If you want this narrative to work, you nee dot re-centre it on the mystery of this anomaly and it's origins much more. Explore that and the questions it may raise and you'll be able to bring out a more complex, fleshed out, and engaging core conflict that is much more interesting to read.
(account deleted) 15 Dec 2020 06:02
