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Thanks to MalyceGraves, ClayGolem and Lime for reviewing this in IRC.
Basically a lampshading of common tropes of Sarkicism. I don't mind if this dies, the joke is obscure to begin with.
"Saara Klaviger" is Klavigar Saarn. Obviously.
ETA: vote cancelled, rating is up to -6.
N/A
This would be better in a tale format; it would make a lot more sense and the narrative would flow much better. Aside from that and the misuse of the ACS format, I cannot see why this is being downvoted. It’s a genuinely hilarious take on Sarkicism and a lateral way of viewing how ancient practitioners would view new religion. I got a genuine chuckle out of this; that’s rare for me.
+1
Thanks for saying so, Seagull. You probably don't remember me but you helped me get onto the site way back when with 3391 :)
Echoing seagull's post. A couple of XXXXs is an absurd reason to downvote.
+1
While I can see the merits of a funny article and or tale about klavigar saarn being fed up with modern sarkicism, this fails to make it work.
The article (minus interview) could be pretty much summed up as "this is the apartment of klavigar saarn from sarkicism. That one." In fact, you could probably replace the article entirely with those words and you wouldn't lose any narrative cohesiveness.
As for the interview, I don't really have much negative things to say about it. It's a bit odd that Saarn is talking like someone from the 21st century, but that's not really much of an issue. Unfortunately, I don't really have anything good to say either. Didn't really find it funny or otherwise appealing.
If the description portion of the article was better , maybe I could be convinced to novote this. But with the current state of it, it's a -1.
I'm glad that you gave up the time to give some constructive criticism about my article, I really appreciate it
I took your advice and trimmed down the description some. Hopefully the article is better for it
I can see some careless mistakes here or there, most obviously XXXXs all over the place. But honestly I think this was a funny article. It doesn't outlive its welcome, it doesn't do a lore dump. And ultimately this is well written, especially the dialogue upon which the entire article centers.
I hope this survives, I think its a welcome funny addition to the Sarkic lore (as a devotee to Sarkicism, I actually think a little bit of a lighter toned story is well overdue)… not to mention the idea of one of the object of a cult's worship not having the time or inclination to deal with the modern day cult is very appealing to me. Religion is mostly ridiculous, and holy stories are corrupted over time.
Not to mention the ending lines of this article are straight fire. I think its great, if could use a little cleaning up.
+1
The interview log is a bit rough, but I think this hits all the right notes. It's a solid attempt at a parody of Sarkic lore. Though I will say, I have only a passing knowledge of Sarkicism on the Wiki — I've read a few of its articles and know some names, and that's it. So maybe, if I knew less about the subject matter (to the point of not picking up on anything), or more (to the point of being considered a fan of Sarkicism, which I admit I am not), this wouldn't work. But at my current knowledge level it really, really does.
It's late and I have a headache but I hope this makes sense. This is a unique one for me.
🌱 Plant the seeds of tomorrow in the soil of today ❤️
I hate Sarkic lore. This was pretty entertaining to read as a parody of that. I appreciated it for that and enjoyed the piece.
Two side notes, one for the author and one in general.
First — that's not a rough translation. That translation is pretty straightforward and literal.
Second — given that immortals don't actually exist, I think it's pretty unrealistic of people who constantly try to take umbrage with how they speak. There's a constant demand that their speech patterns never change remotely, even when they are acting like a regular person. If you don't adapt to life in the modern world — and more than anything else, that includes your vernacular and slang — then you'll stick out like a sore thumb in what, fifty years?
can I get some nice "no signatures on my forum"
sigma-9 css machine broke
understandable have a nice day
Ty for telling me about the translation, I honestly just pulled it off google translate
given that immortals don't actually exist, I think it's pretty unrealistic of people who constantly try to take umbrage with how they speak. There's a constant demand that their speech patterns never change remotely, even when they are acting like a regular person.
This is such a relevant point, if someone was around for thousands of years but stayed within human society, then they would certainly evolve their speech patterns.
I think this article would be a lot better served as a more serious meditation on Saarn’s modern existence. You start the article that way and I was properly engaged until I hit the incident log. The dialogue isn’t funny because it’s mostly Saarn yelling at to two goons about lore consistency while the sperm receptacle gag is just unpleasant. The When Will You Die... series is a great story about monsters and demigods adjusting to 21st century anomie, and I’d have very much liked to see something like that here.
That was actually the point of a much earlier revision of the article. I cut it out after realising that it would take me considerably longer to write and that MalyceGraves had a more serious, modern version of the character planned out for their In Memoria Adytum series.
Thank you for the feedback and reading recommendation though!
