scp idea: the detective

Summary:

what did happen to the detective

scp idea: the detective

Mechanized t-rex 06 Dec 2020 06:43

Seeking Greenlights: No

Page Type: SCP Article

Elevator Pitch: is that you or me. no that's my cousin? or is it?.

Central Narrative: appears to be a detective from the late 18hundreds it wears a trench coat. From its trench coat it will bring items that mean things to its victims it then (transforms) into the person who owned the item SCP-3045 then begins to traumatise it victim making them cry, sob sometimes even kill themselves. it seems to also have a deal with another or more scps.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: this scp will make you think again about hugging grandma, as is it your grandmother or something else. and dont cry or one of his "friends" may find you

Additional Notes: I'm really new so I'm looking to improve. this was one of my first scps i made.

Re: scp idea: the detective

(account deleted) 06 Dec 2020 06:50

Wait, is this SCP a Comedy genre?

Last edited on 06 Dec 2020 06:51 by (account deleted) Show more

Re: scp idea: the detective

Mechanized t-rex 06 Dec 2020 06:51

no its a scp no comedy

Re: scp idea: the detective

blazerboy69420 06 Dec 2020 07:07

…

Re: scp idea: the detective

Mechanized t-rex 06 Dec 2020 07:14

sorry i didnt explain myself probably, i dont have a genre so to say.

Forum Crit Team - Staff Post

cybersqyd 06 Dec 2020 07:36

blazerboy69420: this post is completely contentless. Please do not do this again anywhere on site.

Forum Crit Team - Staff Post

cybersqyd 06 Dec 2020 07:28

GodlyUser does not match any existing user name: posts in this forum are generally expected to actually provide critique for the idea in the thread. Almost contentless posts like this are actively unhelpful and should be avoided; as they serve to cause the thread to appear to have a bunch of critique already.

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Mechanized t-rex : you may find you now have to manually reach out to reviewers to request that they look at your thread. You can find a list of ways to contact reviewers in this thread: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282692/how-to-get-more-reviews

Last edited on 06 Dec 2020 07:28 by cybersqyd Show more

Re: scp idea: the detective

bite_this_onions 06 Dec 2020 07:17

Elevator pitch doesnt even tell us anything, and your central narrative has to be the story of it. You got the two things mixed up.

Re: scp idea: the detective

Mechanized t-rex 06 Dec 2020 07:29

oh…well i tried. i do apologizes for that

Forum Crit Team - Staff Post

cybersqyd 06 Dec 2020 07:31

bite_this_onions: in future, instead of handling issues like this alone, please bring them to staff attention either via #site17 on IRC or by sending a wikidot PM to an appropriate member of staff.

This is also poor critique in general: you really have to be very precise and helpful in your wording and more indepth than what you have been here. If you don't have the time/knowledge to provide in-depth critique, we ask you to avoid doing so.

Re: scp idea: the detective

cybersqyd 06 Dec 2020 08:47

[+] Open for crit

From its trench coat it will bring items that mean things to its victims it then (transforms) into the person who owned the item SCP-3045 then begins to traumatise it victim making them cry, sob sometimes even kill themselves.

I'm having a little trouble parsing this: do you mean it brings out items from it's trench coat, then turns into the person who owned the item, and then an unrelated scp begins to traumatise the person affected by the SCP?

I'm just kinda a little unclear on what SCP-3045's purpose is here; or like…why it's traumatising people so badly they kill themselves?

That angle also feels a little needlessly edgy: suicide is a really sensitive topic and throwing it in here to add shock value feels pretty disrespectful.

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Beyond this, my biggest question is: how are you going to show this things effects in an interesting manner? What are you gonna do with this beyond just, describing the effects? It feels like a SCP that really needs a reason for it's effects to affect someone, and in turn for the persons' reaction to that to be shown to really like…drive home the emotional impact, y'know.

Re: scp idea: the detective

Mechanized t-rex 07 Dec 2020 04:57

Thank you. Ill make some changes. Again thank you