The Immortal Banana (EDIT)

Summary:

Need a greenlight (EDITED)

The Immortal Banana (EDIT)

brocklxrd 28 Oct 2020 15:58

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Page Layout (Optional): Standard SCP File Layout

Elevator Pitch: The anomoulus properties of the SCP include:

• Age Reversing
• Damage inflicted does not have an affect on the SCP
• Damage inflicted on the SCP is mirrored onto the attacker. (Accidental damage seems to not be mirrored, potentially hinting at sentience.)
• SCP has shown no signs of aging since SCP personnel obtained it.

Central Narrative: A banana that seems to have a deity inside of it, causing it to reverse the age of any organic being that touches it.

Hook/Attention-Grabber Use as a means of defense or as counter weapon tests are underway.

Additional Notes: FYI this is my first SCP.

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A fucking loser

Last edited on 28 Oct 2020 23:14 by brocklxrd Show more

Re: The Immortal Banana

PosidenSon2002 28 Oct 2020 18:10

Howdy!

I am not a reviewer, but I wanted to give you my thoughts anyway to help you out.

You have a idea, that awesome! Most SCPs are surprisingly simple when you boil them down, you do not need a overly complicated core idea to write a SCP. You could very well make a SCP about this, but (and that's a big but) you need to tell me a story. I know some older SCPs on the site don't have much of a story, but many people have move forward from that to tell a complaining narrative.

You need to find a way to put a story in your article. For example: The banana was made by a cult trying to resurrect a old god, but the ritual was messed up and it trapped the god in one of the cultists lunch. The banana was used by a assassin to kill political figures but one of the assassinations goes wrong and the foundations gets there hand on it. Adding a story makes the idea infinitely more compelling and enjoyable for the readers,

SCPs live or die from the stories they tell (or the lack there of). A story gives your article a reason to exist, a reason to read, a reason to enjoy. In the end tell me a story.

I hope this helped you out a little. Good luck dear writer!

Re: The Immortal Banana

brocklxrd 28 Oct 2020 18:41

Hey! Not gunna lie the god thing is actually pretty cool, might think about that for a bit. Thank you for the advice!

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A fucking loser

Re: The Immortal Banana

PosidenSon2002 28 Oct 2020 18:56

Not sure how the wiki views people using other people's ideas, but I give you my permission to use that idea if you so wish. Just please credit me properly for coming up with it and PM me a link to your article if you actually get it on the site.

Please and thank you!

Re: The Immortal Banana

brocklxrd 28 Oct 2020 23:22

Will do!

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A fucking loser

Re: The Immortal Banana

Dr Moned 28 Oct 2020 18:00

Heya,

I am going to a bit blunt here. You have no story, merely an object that just does a thing. This is boring and won't be interesting to the reader. Your hook isn't engaging and fails to draw me into the idea at all, adding random attributes such as "It cannot age" does not help the matter.

I would suggest you read the guides and more up to date SCPs to find the standard of the wiki's writing.

Re: The Immortal Banana

brocklxrd 28 Oct 2020 18:40

Thank you for the advice! As this is my first SCP idea I do understand that it might be pretty boring. I'm definitely going to keep your advice in mind.

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A fucking loser

Re: The Immortal Banana (EDIT)

brocklxrd 29 Oct 2020 12:14

I also have been working on a sandbox, if anyone would like to see that.

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A fucking loser

Re: The Immortal Banana (EDIT)

Naveil 01 Nov 2020 16:59

Being honest here, this is the purest form of a thing that does a thing. It's a banana that does a thing. That, in of itself, is not interesting.

All modern SCP articles on the site need to have a narrative - a core story driving it forth. An SCP article is no different from a conventional form of creative literature, it's just expressed differently. Simply describing a wacky object is not going to cut it. Try using the "Guides for Writing" on the Guide Hub to engineer a narrative, although it may be worth considering that your pitch, in its current form, may be inherently unsuited towards a narrative.

I also have been working on a sandbox, if anyone would like to see that.

Just for the record, you should only provide a sandbox if a reviewer specifically asks to see one. That being said, most experienced reviewers will not. By in large, the point of idea critique is to examine fundamental flaws in a concept before it goes into drafting. If you're unable to accurately summarize your idea, it's likely because you don't have a good enough grasp on your idea to properly summarize it, or you need to work on your summarization skills. Generally, every single article on the site can be summarized in less than 400 words, so try your best to do so.