Blackout Theropod Claw (Seeking Greenlights)

Summary:

A theropod claw creating an electrical dead-zone. (1 out of 2 greenlights)

Blackout Theropod Claw (Seeking Greenlights)

Dewalto 07 Oct 2020 08:02

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Elevator Pitch: The anomaly consists of two parts; the first (-A) is the claw which creates the electrical dead-zone, excluding bioelectricity, and the second (-B) is within this zone a Megaraptor, possibly a ghost or phantom, it only exists inside the zone.

Central Narrative: The narrative would be told from the perspective of an average Afrikaner man who had his life turned upside-down by the anomaly and he lived with the anomaly for many years, which he would give the object a name and he would start a family with the anomaly being the family "pet". The man would write his experiences with the anomaly in a journal. It would explore a reversal of the concept of us outliving our pets, a "pet" that outlives us if you will.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: The anomaly features an obscure dinosaur and the location of the object and story that takes place would provide a nice addition to the site. Plus, who wouldn't want a pet dinosaur?

+ Open Additional Notes:

Due to the word limit, I am only able to give a very heavily TL;DR summary of the whole narrative. The narrative would take place in the late 1800s to early 1900s and partially in unknown date in the 21st century.

I would be very happy to work with an artist to make sketches of the object in various scenarios and what its design would be. Narrative wise, the sketches would be done by the man depicting parts of his day-to-day life with the anomaly.

If the article proves successful on the mainsite after about a week, I might make a tale for the article that expands on the concept of pets outliving us. The tale will most likely to be in a first-person perspective of the anomaly (-B) between the past and the present day.

Feel free to PM me to review/help work on the rest of the narrative I am making.

Last edited on 27 Oct 2020 09:01 by Dewalto Show more

Re: Blackout Theropod Claw (Seeking Greenlights)

chaucer345 20 Oct 2020 15:42

Hello!

So having owned a parrot before and knowing a tortoise or two in my day, I can say that the concept of a pet outliving you is far from new to me.

That said, the idea shows some promise, but there are a few questions you'll need to answer here:

+ **Questions**

1) What is the megaraptor's personality? Is it only friendly to the family of those it has been with before?

2) What is the mythology that has been built up around this species? If it's been with people for several generations, there must be stories told about it.

3) What does the creature eat? Does it need to eat?

4) How was this creature discovered?

That's just some stuff to get you thinking. I definitely want to see more African SCPs, so I'm rooting for this one.

Re: Blackout Theropod Claw (Seeking Greenlights)

Dewalto 20 Oct 2020 17:14

I'm more than happy to answer your questions.

+ The answers to your questions

1) The megaraptor would have a dog-like personality with its ground bird-like movement and it will be partially feathered. With its dog-like personality, the megaraptor will see anyone as a pack member it has/had a positive interaction with which in this case is the family and one of the family's' descendant is a member of the Foundation, it would view them as part of the pack.

2) The family have named it, "Ou-voël" or Old-bird, many generations over time would know only its name and vague descriptions of its appearance.

3) The megaraptor does not eat, but it can still hunt, mainly trespassing leopards looking for an easy meal.

4.1) The claw was bought by a man named, Olivier Vogel, from a possible new GOI, called Sterling's Para-Artefacts Ltd. in the late 1800s. Vogel would later find out that he would be living with a dinosaur. The anomaly was causing a mild panic which Vogel decided to isolate himself and the anomaly away on a farm.

4.2) The anomaly was rediscovered when a group of civilians had their drone become inoperable when they are near to the abandoned farm, they would meet the megaraptor. They reported to the police, the Foundation caught wind and sent an MTF squad to investigate the farm, one of the members of the squad is the descendant, which the megaraptor recognizes some traits of Vogel in the descendant.

I hope I have sufficiently answered your questions. If you have more questions you can PM me.

Dankie en totsiens vriend.

P.S. I agree for more African SCPs as this takes place in South Africa in two time periods, the late 1800s to mid-1900s and unknown year in the 21st century.

Last edited on 20 Oct 2020 17:20 by Dewalto Show more

Re: Blackout Theropod Claw (Seeking Greenlights)

Quadraginta 07 Oct 2020 14:54

+Let us start the crit!

I find this whole idea itself to be pretty interesting. Having a pet outlive the owner as an electricity based specter?

Sign me up!

But I do have some issues.

You tell us how you're going to show the Central Narrative, but what's going to happen in it?

Even though I gave a positive response to it earlier, I'm not entirely sure about how I feel on the whole deadzone electricity thing. Like, it doesn't really feel thematically fitting. Do you ever plan to go anywhere with that? Did it play a part in the Afrikaner's day by day life? Was it always like that? I assume it was.

Overall, I like the concept as a whole, but some bits of it need further work and again, the electrical deadzone thing feels…'off' to me, for lack of a better word.

All in all, I hope I helped and I bid you a lovely day, partner!

-Quadraginta

P.S. I just thought of this as I was about to wrap up the critique.

An owner outliving their pet is always a gut wrenching sensation. Can you find a way to show us the heartbreak of it being the other way around? Maybe have the Afrikaner be heartbroken and upset over the fact that he's unwillingly leaving his closest companion alone.