Halfway Lost / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Halfway Lost.

Co-Author Post

JakdragonX 07 Oct 2020 16:10

This will be the first contest entry for Team Empty Spaces!

Personally, I would like to thank Pedagon for their significant contributions towards critiquing this article. They helped make it so much better!

As for the content itself, I am deeply pleased with how it all came out. Although I did contribute, my teammates below each did a fantastic job with this article and deserve the most credit.

Thank you for your time!

Last edited on 08 Oct 2020 15:03 by JakdragonX Show more

Co-Author's Post 2: Electric Boogaloo

Hexick 07 Oct 2020 17:32

Reserved

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Hexick, SCP Wiki Moderator
Personal site: http://hexhouse.wikidot.com/
Feel free to forward any concerns or inquiries to my Wikidot inbox.

Co-Author Post 3: Somebody Help Me

Greyve 07 Oct 2020 17:44

Reserved

Cerastes 08 Oct 2020 02:33

While I did say I didn't particularly care for this tale in the critting stage, I feel the authors have made sufficient changes to this that I can feel comfortable upvoting for its quality writing, though perhaps not as enthusiastically as I would something that personally appeals to me. +1

Grigori Karpin 08 Oct 2020 02:49

So I liked this plenty but I’ve got some confusion:

► Some detailed thoughts◄

The unfounded canon is roughly such that the SCP Foundation doesn’t exist but the veil is still up according to the canon page… this story feels more like we’re in a world where the anomalies are ever present, and I don’t get that… maybe it’s something that will be revealed later, but it struck me as odd.

Also confused why the first link goes back to this same page?

ever to have been invited to join them right out of the academy."

Broken italics here

In fact there’s a lot of sections out of italics and I’m not sure what the italics represent, the flashback goes in and out of it, but some of the prose is in italics and some isn’t

I will say there’s quite a few errors here with punctuation, like “ inside the period and another time there’s incorrect “ around something in a quote, which should be ‘

This leaves a lot to be explained but I assume that will flow from the next parts. It was interesting enough to +1 but I’m pretty unsatisfied with the arc, as it seems only to be an opening chapter. More could be done to make sure that each tale stands on its own as best you can.

JakdragonX 08 Oct 2020 03:16

Response

Hi! The italics are primarily used for internalized, conscious thoughts. Some of the prose is actually Adrian's thoughts, which is why some is italicized. The rest is purely the author.

As for this:

The unfounded canon is roughly such that the SCP Foundation doesn’t exist but the veil is still up according to the canon page… this story feels more like we’re in a world where the anomalies are ever present, and I don’t get that…

This is because the setting is within the Free Port Eurtec, which is considered to be openly anomalous, which is why it appears more *frequently* for a lack of a better term.

As for the issues regarding it standing on its own, that may be an issue with how the contest explicitly wants each article entered to flow with each other, and connect directly. But yes, we will try to work on making things stay structurely more sound.

I will also be fixing the grammatical mistakes momentarily, thank you!

stormbreath 16 Oct 2020 00:59

I like this on the whole, but the decision to put an offset in the middle of the page is a pretty weird choice. It's very weird to open the offset, read the information there, and then return to the middle of the page. I'd recommend splitting the first offset into two pages, one before and one after the second offset.

Also, the first line of the tale would be much better served by swapping the order of the clauses. As it currently stands, it isn't clear what the traits describe: Halfway Central Station or the other twelve. In fact, it's more likely to be the other twelve. If you put the adjectives first, it would be a lot clearer.

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can I get some nice "no signatures on my forum"
sigma-9 css machine broke
understandable have a nice day

Hexick 16 Oct 2020 14:56

Thank you so much for the feedback, and I'm glad you enjoyed the article. I'll consult with the my fellow co-authors in regards to applying the fixes you've suggested.

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Hexick, SCP Wiki Moderator
Personal site: http://hexhouse.wikidot.com/
Feel free to forward any concerns or inquiries to my Wikidot inbox.