Thanks for the critique! To address a couple of your points,
I was actually hoping that the two stories would converge
That was the goal; lines like "the roads and the citadels were the domains of tigers and wolves, as all things should be" and "All those who dwelt in the kingdom then knew the wages of knowledge, of seeking mastery over the world" were supposed to be indications of the thing's growing influence in the story as it pulls the chain, culminating in the diatribe given by the king's slit stomach. Once editing is allowed, I will try and edit it some to make it a bit clearer.
'overreaching'
You would have to ask
weizhong about that; the last paragraph is set to randomly display one of four endings, each one linking to a different story in the resurrected canon. It will work better once each of them links to something.
I think that it's also worth mentioning that both this and Competitive Teleology were intended as expansions on The Faraday Girls, with this piece expanding on "how did it happen that an entity to whom writing is inimical became able to manipulate words," while CT was more about "what it means for the texts to make explicit fears and anxieties that are unstated" (I think).