A containment box

Summary:

is actually containing everything outside of it

A containment box

saltgad 03 Sep 2020 14:22

Edit: Rewrote it entirely based on feedback and with a new narrative.

Seeking Greenlights: Yes.

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre (Optional): Mystery

Page Layout (Optional): Standard Conprocs/Description/Logs. Logs will increasingly provide knowledge and have a twist at the end

Elevator Pitch: A small, seemingly indestructible box is said to contain a world-ending entity inside. It actually contains the entire SCP universe, as it's considered anomalous by whatever is inside. Everything the box does are containment procedures (to contain the SCP universe). For instance, the box tries to convey it holds a dangerous entity because it would make it less likely to be opened by the foundation.

Central Narrative: The small cube is found by the foundation with a simple note: "do not open". Attempts at interacting of it fail, as it's apparently indestructible and reflective to most electromagnetic frequencies. After staying with the foundation for a few days, it lights up pulsing a binary ASCII signal: "Do not open: risk of universe extinction". This grabs the attention of researchers, and communication with the box is opened. It only answers questions on how dangerous the contained entity is, answering as it would mean the destruction of the universe. After each answer, the box start asking somewhat "obvious" and "mundane" questions about the nature of the SCP universe, threatening to release the entity on denial. The last research log imply the possibility of the SCP universe being what's contained, due to how similar the foundation research is to the box's questions. Most is left to be answered by the reader.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: The increasingly rich information is provided via logs and the implication at the end. The box containing a world-ending phenomena is one of the SCP cliches, and my intention is to twist it.

Additional Notes: The narrative and structure of this idea was rewritten for clarification and complexity. Thank you for your feedback. If you wish to read the original version, please refer to edit history.

Last edited on 05 Sep 2020 01:23 by saltgad Show more

Re: A containment box

MDwesman 03 Sep 2020 14:50

+ Open me

If it is the box, then it's probably Thaumiel.

Sounds familiar.

Higher clearance articles describe experiment logs that result in the classification of Keter, as it could contain a dangerous end-of-the-world horror.

This sounds more like a thaumiel class to me, keter means hard to contain, just because something is dangerous doesn't mean its a keter. A safe class could be a rock that if touched with your hand would wipe you from existence. Thaumiel means it is the containment box or it is something the foundation can use.

The increasingly knowledge that is provided though the clearance levels and the twist at the end.

I think it would help if you could provide a little hint to what your twist is.

This is my first post and I'm absolutely not a writer. The structure I described here is absolutely subject to change. I also wouldn't mind if an actual writer used this concept, I think it has a good potential but has to be written well.

Since this is your first post, and you claim that you are not a writer, I suggest you should read the guide hub just so you could get some help or useful tips!

Final notes: I do not think this concept would do very well, as it seems that the box is just there, the foundation cant find anything about it, all they can do is just accept that it is there, unable to learn about it at all. You need to add a little more story, other than that, please do not take my words as discouragement, I'm no expert I'm just telling you what I think, and what might help you. There are others who can probably inform you better than I.

Last edited on 03 Sep 2020 14:51 by MDwesman Show more

Re: A containment box

saltgad 03 Sep 2020 15:08

it seems that the box is just there, the foundation cant find anything about it, all they can do is just accept that it is there, unable to learn about it at all.

That's why I left the concept as open as possible, as details and gimmicks can easily be added to the SCP without compromising the main idea. For example, the box may have a minor effect that forces the foundation to keep it secure, which could be linked to the main concept as a contaiment procedure (of the universe). If anyone has suggestions on details or story or anything else I could try writing it. I also wouldn't mind at all if an experienced writer picked this one up.

Re: A containment box

Quadraginta 03 Sep 2020 15:08

Note, not a pro reviewer. Take my words with a grain of salt.

Open me!

This…is one of the coolest $@#&ing ideas I've seen in a while. Taking a cliche and reversing it? Hell yes.

Now let's talk about what I think could be improved.

I'll start with a nitpick. The way you wrote this elevator pitch and narrative is kinda messy. I got the message of what it was and what it did (box that contains everything outside and the higher the clearance, the more you get to know about it) but I'm confused about…how it contains things.

Basically a reverse SCP, everything the box do is their containment procedures (this is implied at the end).

You mean, like, it automatically forces conprocs (containment procedures, for reference) onto every other SCP around it? There already exists an SCP specifically dedicated to other SCPs. The one where you flip a page and the next portrayed SCP comes into existence. It's unknown if it's predicting or creating them.

This is specifically for conprocs, yes, but the similarity is there and I'm sure other people would see it too.

If I'm wrong and this section means something else, you'll need to clarify a little more.

Next problem and this is actually pretty massive now that I think about it. How do they find this out? Even if it subconsciously forced conprocs onto other SCPs, it's subconscious. I'm really not sure how they're supposed to realize that it's containing their universe, not vice versa.

How do they know a spatial anomaly is inside?

Did a Memetics expert figure it out?

Would this thing even give off a Memetic effect?

Okay, last problem I see. Why have the clearance procedures in the first place? I.E. why are lower level staff restricted from seeing it? Maybe I'm wrong since I, myself, am still very new to this site, but I imagine knowing that a separate object that helps containment wouldn't be too bad.

Thaumiel is restricted to O5 only, but Thaumiel SCPs are actively used. This thing kinda just sits there from what I imagine. Hm. I'm a little iffy on this last bit, to be honest. Take this last criticism with several grains of salt.

I think the point I'm trying to make is that there needs to be a justification for it to be clearance level-split.

Like Scarlet King is split by clearance since the O5 doesn't want everyone to know that they're irreparably #$#@ed and that the King is gonna come out and kill everyone.

This…is just a box that puts conprocs on everything. Again, that's what I gathered from reading your idea. If I'm wrong, please re-word it a little better.

Closing thoughts:

Some parts of your idea are unclear in description, but I got a basic feel for the idea you're going for and I really dig. Reversed cliches are really interesting to me.

I have one last complaint, though. This is an extremely personal one.

Additional Notes: This is my first post and I'm absolutely not a writer. The structure I described here is absolutely subject to change. I also wouldn't mind if an actual writer used this concept, I think it has a good potential but has to be written well.

No! It's a cool idea and I think you should pursue it and not down-talk yourself like that! Just because you're not confident in your ability to write doesn't mean you shouldn't pursue an idea or practice. You were courageous enough to take initiative and post the idea here, you have what it takes. Pursue it.

If it doesn't end up working out, hey, you still did what you could. More ideas could come your way and you could develop a knack and love for this. You had the interest to do this in the first place, I say you should go for it. The worst that can happen is that your first stepping stone ends up being a little unbalanced and so you trip and get a little wet in the river…analogies. I'm not good with them.

That said, my critique is over.

I hope that helped. I've been practicing my critiquing skills as best as I can, but I know I'm not that great at it, so again, take everything I said with a grain of salt.

Now it's time for me to leave some parting gifts.

Click here for a handy dandy list of certified reviewers who are a lot better at this than I am!

Click here for a guide on fleshing out ideas.

You took the initiative to make an account, come here and present an idea that you liked.

I encourage you to continue.

If you choose not to, don't worry about a thing.

Good luck, partner!

Re: A containment box

saltgad 03 Sep 2020 15:25

Forgive me if the concept is a little messy, as English isn't my mother tongue. And thank you for the lengthy feedback.

If I'm wrong and this section means something else, you'll need to clarify a little more.

What I mean for "Their containment procedures", is that whoever or whatever is in the other side of the box considers the SCP universe entirely as an anomaly. The universe is boxed, not the opposite.

How do they find this out? Even if it subconsciously forced conprocs onto other SCPs, it's subconscious. I'm really not sure how they're supposed to realize that it's containing their universe, not vice versa. How do they know a spatial anomaly is inside? Did a Memetics expert figure it out? Would this thing even give off a Memetic effect?

This is a very good point and I thought about it a bit before posting. It's of THEIR (who's "inside" the box) interest to keep the box secure from containment breaches, and that's why the box implies to the foundation that there's somehting horrible inside (so they don't mess with it). I actually don't know how can this be done, but it can be I'm sure.

+ show block

Okay, last problem I see. Why have the clearance procedures in the first place? I.E. why are lower level staff restricted from seeing it?

That's why I thought of it as a tiered article. The last tier could be the foundation learning about its true purpose but still unable to crack THEIR containment procedures.

Maybe I'm wrong since I, myself, am still very new to this site, but I imagine knowing that a separate object that helps containment wouldn't be too bad.

As I said above, the box is containing the universe, foundation included. Whoever or whatever is inside thinks the SCP universe itself is anomalous.

I hope that helped. I've been practicing my critiquing skills as best as I can, but I know I'm not that great at it, so again, take everything I said with a grain of salt.

You actually helped a lot, thank you! I'll edit my post to clarify my idea.

Edit: formatting

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 07 Sep 2020 04:40 by Zyn Show more

Re: A containment box

Pvt_Carney 03 Sep 2020 15:59

This is a beautiful take on that cliche.

Maybe to spice things up/Flesh out some of the lore would be to have a GoI basically praising it, most likely the fifth church. Members of the church may kill those damning our world to be locked from this box, in hopes to be accepted.

I also like how low clearance scientists are restricted from knowing what this SCP truly is. I'd suspect it's in fear of them backstabbing the foundation. Maybe only trusted members are told about the true nature of the box. Possibly an event log where 05 gave the green light to share this info with some of the lower clearance staff on-site but then they freaked out, wanting to be accepted to their world. Then Y-909 had to be used to void it from their memory - leading to all low clearance staff being restricted from the knowledge.

But this is your idea! Do what you think fits this SCP best, cause I already like where this is going.

---

~Pvt Carney

Re: A containment box

MDwesman 03 Sep 2020 18:11

Checking back on your clarification

What I mean is that whatever or whoever is "inside" the box considers the entire SCP universe as anomalous, and the box is a containment procedure itself for the SCP universe.

Hell I didn't know that's what you meant, I thought you were talking about an SCP that is a theory for the existence of the universe.

So question, are you saying that the SCP universe is contained in a box as some other beings who are outside the box, see the SCP universe as an anomaly, that they add to their list of anomalies?

Is outside the box another dimension or reality, or is it just more space and universes from where these beings come from?

Because who knows, maybe outside the box could lead to another reality or dimension where the SCP foundation is a fantasy created by writers who use a website called wikidot.

Last edited on 03 Sep 2020 18:12 by MDwesman Show more

Re: A containment box

saltgad 04 Sep 2020 17:05

So question, are you saying that the SCP universe is contained in a box as some other beings who are outside the box, see the SCP universe as an anomaly, that they add to their list of anomalies?

Not really. My plan is just to imply the universe being contained at the end of the article, not give definitive answers like who's behind this or is there another foundation inside the box. It could be any kind of reality, hell, it could be ridiculosly anomalous for the foundation, but they consider themselves non-anomalous and the SCP universe, anomalous. I want to add it to the mystery by letting these question being answered by the reader.

Is outside the box another dimension or reality, or is it just more space and universes from where these beings come from? Because who knows, maybe outside the box could lead to another reality or dimension where the SCP foundation is a fantasy created by writers who use a website called wikidot.

Another reality, just like some SCPs that are accesses to other realities. I don't plan it to be that meta or break the 4th wall.

Re: A containment box

Uncle Nicolini 03 Sep 2020 18:31

I like this twist enough to give you a greenlight, though I do not suggest attaching it to a goi. This can be its own independent thing without relying on Fifthism or whatever. I do also suggest that this doesn't become a listpages article, and the discovery that the box contains the universe comes naturally through the addenda/logs.

Re: A containment box

saltgad 03 Sep 2020 19:12

I appreciate the greenlight and the feedback. I do have some ideas on how to do it without relying on GoI or format screws. The entities inside the box may want to know more about the SCP universe (just like the research the foundation does) and may let "escape" some information in the process, letting the foundation know what's really about. The challenge of course will be writing it in a compelling way. I will read more and take my time.

Re: A containment box

Flopmind 05 Sep 2020 01:24

After our conversation in IRC, you made a decent amount of improvements. I do still think that the execution of this piece is particularly critical, but you seem to know enough about where you want to go for me to give you greenlight.

Best of luck moving forward.