The White Fedora (SCP idea!)

The White Fedora (SCP idea!)

dizzyyyyy 02 Sep 2020 21:24

Seeking Greenlights: Yes.

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre (Optional): Action and History.

Elevator Pitch: SCP-XXXX also know as The White Fedora is an SCP to help the foundation by stopping breaches and chaos, It was discovered in russia in the late 1800’s.

Central Narrative: SCP-XXXX is a white fedora, it can be used in many different ways! If worn if can make you invisible and you can spawn in a powerful Thompson submachine gun.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: SCP-XXXX can be used to stop breaches, Chaos Raids and to help the foundation in any other way.

Last edited on 02 Sep 2020 21:51 by dizzyyyyy Show more

Re: The White Fedora (SCP idea!)

Naveil 02 Sep 2020 21:40

As an aside, per the Required Reading, you are not supposed to link a sandbox draft unless a reviewer specifically asks. The point of the idea critique is to pick apart flaws on a conceptual level without having to look at a draft. As a result, I will not be reading it.

This idea is… underdeveloped. For one, I have no clue what the fedora even does, how it's anomalous, or even how you plan to use it to sustain your narrative (or lack thereof).

This is very much a thing that does a thing, an object that has no purpose other than to do a thing and nothing else. This type of article is uninteresting at best, and most likely wouldn't survive on the mainsite.

I'd urge you to read some of the Guides for Writing on the Guide Hub. One that is relevant here is this essay on narrative. Reading some more modern articles may also benefit you here.

Re: The White Fedora (SCP idea!)

dizzyyyyy 02 Sep 2020 21:50

ok i removed the link it’s just because i saw someone else add a link. i also changed it a little. and it literally says what the fedora does on the sandbox

Last edited on 02 Sep 2020 21:59 by dizzyyyyy Show more

Forum Criticism Team - Junior Staff Post

Truc Linh 03 Sep 2020 01:28

Please note that because others are breaking the rules, doesn't mean you should too. If you are ever confused about the forum guidelines, please refer to the Help Questions Desk forum.

Re: The White Fedora (SCP idea!)

Zyn 03 Sep 2020 05:45

and it literally says what the fedora does on the sandbox

The required reading states to put the concept overview material in the forum template, not to use a sandbox and redirect reviewers (please don't necessitate extra work on their behalf—they're the ones doing authors a favor by providing feedback).