I would change the object class to be Euclid, crossed out and then next to that “Presumed Neutralized” (but not crossed out)
SCP-XXXX is a standard North American stop sign that suddenly appears in locations via an unknown form of locomotion.
—> change to "via unknown means."
Initially, it was believed that its appearance patterns were random, however, on further inspection, SCP-XXXX may have sentience.
—> First replace the first "it" with SCP-XXXX. Then I wouldn't give up that it's sentient, I instead would say after however, = "a pattern of appearances can be discerned. Please see below addenda."
Change to “This audio log is that of a civilian woman; this is a voice mail that she had left for her employer.”
—> change to “The following is a voicemail left by Wilma Greggs to her employer."
The voicemail is good, honestly, can't think of anything I would change
A transcript of a letter involving the object has been added.
—> change to “The following is a letter of resignation by Craig Dillard, an employee of Tillman Funeral Home.”
The letter and the journals need spacing between the paragraphs.
For the longest time, I thought I was doing a good job, handling the bodies of the deceased and preparing them for burials; I had always believed that taking on a job such as this was good for my soul.
—> I would split these into two independent sentences.
What body is he working on? Is that important? I have a feeling it’s the dead dad, if so, you should indicate that.
There was a writing assignment that asked the students to introduce themselves and describe a 'very cool or weird thing' that they have seen.
—> would change “very cool or weird thing” to “something of interest.”
For the assignment, I wouldn’t correct the grammar. It’s presented as handwritten, and so the grammar would not be fixable on something handwritten. I would pepper in some mistakes and acknowledge in the preamble that “Spelling and grammar errors are preserved from the original document.”
SCP-XXXX was found illogically placed at an intersection.
I don’t know what “illogically placed” means. You should describe where it was that led to the crash.
This led to SCP-XXXX being severely dented and damaged in a collision that caused the death of a male civilian; he had been seeing a therapist at the time for counseling and was maintaining a therapy journal as per the therapist's advice.
This is a long sentence, and I would split it into two independent sentences.
he had been seeing a therapist at the time for counseling and was maintaining a therapy journal as per the therapist's advice.
—> change to “The deceased civilian was found to be keeping a therapy journal, excerpts of which are included below:”
Again, space out your paragraphs on the journal. The journal is by far the roughest for me.
I'll be honest. I'm happy I don't have to sleep in a cell with a mountain of a man and wake up to his breathing down my neck. I am unbelievably, unimaginable amounts of happy that I don't have to wake up to that.
—> I’d cut this.
/“Ever play Silent Hill: Shattered Memories? That game's soundtrack has a song called Hell Frozen Rain and I love it. It's a great song. Too bad I can never listen to it ever again.
The last line in the song is, "Life is cold here, empty hallowed ground in my head, blood colored rain falls down."
"Life is cold here." Life will certainly be cold for that woman and her son.
"Empty hallowed ground in my head." 'Hallow' means, like…to honor someone as holy.”
&
"Blood colored rain falls down." Do I even need to fucking say it? Write it, whatever.
The worst part is…Shattered Memories starts off with the dad getting in a car accident.
…blood colored rain falls down…”
I don’t know how I feel about specifically naming Silent Hill and then going through the lyrics. It just doesn’t strike me as believable. I would cut out all of this
I think I'm going crazy. I know, I know. I just wrote that in a therapy journal—which, by the way, this thing is actually kind of helping—and the irony is pretty stunning to me, too.
I would cut this too, I don’t think it’s necessary and feels too “explainey”
I'm not weak like that. I deserve to die, but I won't die by killing myself. No.
Cut this, its redundant.
Irony.
I would cut this and say “God, I make myself sick.”
Hello. I don't know why I just wrote 'hello' in my journal. No matter.
I’d cut this too, he’s panicking, I don’t see him being witty.
little bitch
I get this guy is a douche, but I don’t love this being used personally. Could be just a me thing
This last entry is just a jumble of sentences each as their own paragraph. I think you should condense and make a few discrete paragraphs.
