SCP-5886 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5886.

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Author Postalooza

TheeSherm 19 Aug 2020 07:26

And I'll be there before you know it, I'll be gone before you see me

And do you think you can imagine, anything so lonely?

And I know you'd really like me, but I never stick around

Because time keeps dragging on, and on, and on…

This is my first article in over 2 years. The inspiration is the song The Ballad of Barry Allen by Jim’s Big Ego, and I have a lot of feelings about that song and this piece. I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you to VoidLady, etoisle, and KatieBoo for critiquing this piece.

If you'd like to see more from me, my my author page is here.

+ Spoilers

This is The Flash, but sad. One day his status as a Speedster class superhero activated, and now he moves faster than we can perceive, and his perception of time has adjusted accordingly.

James can interact with us however he wants, but the first time he's even been seen in a long time is when he started hanging out mostly on the bed in Site-42 while waiting for Pegasus Rising to open a hole to a new universe. We try to stick him with a needle? He moves so we don't stick him. Seems intangible to us, as best we can tell.

If half of a 50th of a second feels like 1.5 hours, he is moving, just, so fast. What did he do that real-time year he was wandering? Did he ever encounter a person or anomaly that could provide him a shred of company in that time? What’s on the other side of that wormhole? That's fodder for future stories. If you write a James Biggio Tale, I’d love to see it.

Finally, heh. I wrote a short story about a speedster. I guess you could call this "Flash Fiction."

Post-Edit: Just some things about being James that would suck that I thought about.

-No Internet, because the signals don’t travel. Hence libraries.
-No cars, because the engine would function that slowly. I’m imagining he biked everywhere.
-Our math using the hummingbird example says it’s 54K times the speed of our timestream, at least at that moment in his life. Did he find some modicum of control of his power at some point? Again, future stories.

Last edited on 23 Aug 2020 03:20 by TheeSherm Show more

+1

(account deleted) 19 Aug 2020 07:33

Lovely work, Sherm! Very much enjoyed reading and critting this.

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I'll be crossing you in style, someday!

etoisle 19 Aug 2020 07:34

i already said this while critting but i really appreciate these little self-contained articles! the prose is punchy and carries its tone very effectively, and i really enjoyed reading this. easy +1!

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do my gay little computers make you mad? do they make you want to hurt me?

+1

PatGoodrich 19 Aug 2020 09:53

He just wanna be left alone

Last edited on 19 Aug 2020 09:54 by PatGoodrich Show more

Hmm

Comrade Waldo 19 Aug 2020 14:04

While I quite enjoyed this article, I don't like how you used "appears to be" to describe the SCP. But, I guess that's some minor detail that you could edit. I still feel it lacked the emotion, but it is entertaining to read. Here's a tentative +1.

Good luck!

Re: Hmm

TheeSherm 19 Aug 2020 15:45

Glad you enjoyed it over all!

In regards to "appears to be," the idea is that The Foundation can't really be sure because they are unable to test him. He keeps moving every time they try to stick him with a needle for instance, so they perceive him as intangible and are stuck with "I mean, it appears to be a person but we can't really confirm that."

OCuin 19 Aug 2020 22:30

I really like the concept here, but the execution is incredibly standard and doesn't do the concept justice. It's a diary entry that tells you the events in the plainest possible manner, leaves nothing to the imagination, and makes the story ultimately feel rather flat. There's very little emotion present in the article because it feels rushed and doesn't take care with the characterisation and the emotions of the character. Meanwhile, the diary entry just tells the reader the story instead of showing it to them, which is a real shame because this concept presents some great opportunities to let the reader discover what's going on for themselves. It's the perfect setup for a short article that implies what's going on but doesn't state it outright, but instead, this just tells you everything straight up in standard fashion. -1

TheeSherm 19 Aug 2020 23:13

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Structure wise, I’m pretty happy with how it came out because a lot of comments I’m getting in other forums (Discord, Reddit, etc) are actually still confused about the nature of James’ ability, thinking he’s some kind of reality bender or something. Threading the needle of too much intel versus too little seems to have worked 😂

Props on getting the whole thing as if it was too blunt though!

Docrev 19 Aug 2020 23:51

This is a clever SCP, I think it captures well what it would be like to perceive time like that. +1

PeppersGhost 20 Aug 2020 14:04

The wormhole comes across as a flimsy plot device to me. It just kinda drops into the story without fanfare, and the decision to leap into an experimental interdimensional portal isn't given any weight. Even the protagonist treats it like a convenient way out of his predicament. There's some nice character work, but it's undermined by the anticlimactic ending.

TheeSherm 20 Aug 2020 17:32

Thanks for reading and commenting! And I totally see what you mean.

In my mind, our interaction with James is transitory. We don’t really know much of what he did during his year of travel, he was with us for a long time waiting for this escape idea, and we don’t know what’s on the other side of the wormhole for him. (They were only able to open it for 5 microseconds, so the Foundation hasn’t sent anything over to explore themselves yet. I was hoping that lent weight to James’ desperation for change from his situation.)

I didn’t want him locked up for eternity (especially when his eternity is so much longer than ours,) and I didn’t want to cure him, so this was my “give his story an ambiguous future plan.” I guess you only get so much set-up/payoff in a story this short 😂

barnabat 21 Aug 2020 21:50

This was such an interesting read; the concept is so rad! I always find writing pieces about people who have powers but can't control them really fun (and sad) to read. Loved it! :]

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swag post i made it

+50

TheeSherm 22 Aug 2020 00:01

Hooray for Jim, the little speedster that could. Thank everyone who read, voted, and commented!!

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