SCP-5456 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5456.

faminepulse 17 Aug 2020 21:07

posting in series 6

Last edited on 17 Aug 2020 21:35 by faminepulse Show more

VoidLady 17 Aug 2020 21:14

While I noticed some minor outdated stylistic choices ["One (1)" for example] this was overall an enjoyable and creepy piece.

---

I'll be crossing you in style, someday!

faminepulse 17 Aug 2020 21:39

fixt. i just do that out of habit

+1

ThisMightBeAuto 17 Aug 2020 21:27

Whilst I agree with the above about some of the stylistic choices, as a concept this creeps me the fuck out.

+1 for sure.

pastarasta1 17 Aug 2020 21:28

i love this so much famine

1+

---

pastarasta1 is quick-talking and often scheming

Grigori Karpin 18 Aug 2020 00:29

Liked this when you originally showed it to me, but wow the dialogue bits really sell it.

Yet another nightmare from Famine, nicely done

+1

Also there’s some particularly good lines here that give some meaty clues I wanna shout out:

“We can be human, yeah we can be respectful, but we can't tolerate chaos.“

And

“SCP-5456 consisted of 146 long term members, each of which were commonly employed as business owners, landlords, military, law enforcement, or those in similar positions of authority, and related family.”

faminepulse 18 Aug 2020 03:07

I'll tag it later lol

Grigori Karpin 18 Aug 2020 04:34

Wait, tag what? haha I wasn't trying to bum rush you into giving me crit credit haha

Oh one thing:

(sound of a continuous stream of water hitting a larger body of water)

I feel like this might work better for what you want if you replaced the first "water" with "liquid"

faminepulse 18 Aug 2020 07:13

Tag it as Fifthist. In this case the Fifthism manifests itself through crossfit cultism. You can still read it however you want, it being open to interpretation is a feature. It being Fifthist is just my headcanon.

Also nice catch thanx

AwareWeb 18 Aug 2020 02:36

Didn't understood what happened to the members, but it crept me after i've reached the 4th paragraph of the Description. ^{nice music btw :) imma keep it UwU}

+1

faminepulse 18 Aug 2020 03:09

It's pretty much whatever you think happened to them. They could have all just ran away and this isn't even anomalous.

Dr0Shadow 19 Aug 2020 07:41

This is really viscerally creepy. Honestly have no idea what’s going on here and I’m pretty sure that’s a good thing (idk). +1

Also:

Remember to stay hydrated Chet

God damn it.

rjpresser 12 Oct 2020 18:51

I agree this is very creepy, but I have no idea what is going on. No vote.

Professor Bunni 13 Oct 2020 07:50

Conversely, upvoted because I have no idea what is going on (but there is enough consistency in flavor that I feel there is something substantial if dreamlike happening). It's been a while since an SCP made me feel this…unease of ambiguity.

LordStonefish 06 Nov 2020 17:53

Goddamn it faminepulse, no one does horrifyingly ambiguous dialogue like you do! It is a crime that this is so underrated.