SCP-5048 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5048.

Jak Mockery 30 Jul 2020 04:45

First SCP!

This is a rework of an article I wrote in January. Wanted to rework a couple of things and improve the quality. This is the last time I’ll be recycling past work, but I wanted to start off with something I wasn’t very happy with initially.

Big thanks to the folks over at the SCP Declassified server for their assistance in draft/proofreading, particularly Pedagon and Grigori Karpin.

Image was obtained from the WikiMedia Commons. The Author was A.Landgraf, and the image is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license. Here's the link: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rakotzbr%C3%BCcke.jpg

This should check out. If this is not the case, let me know!

Last edited on 30 Jul 2020 23:03 by Jak Mockery Show more

SCP-5048: -1

Purplayoss 30 Jul 2020 13:39

Hesitant downvote. There certainly was some good writing sprinkled through this, but it quickly lost steam, beginning with the notable events log. The exploration log also felt really cheesy and didn't seem to actually build anything in regards to my understanding of the anomaly.

Dr Dodds 30 Jul 2020 16:08

There's a lot of descriptive language in this that, while good, doesn't quite fit the clinical tone. This is meant to be a document, but a lot of the description reads more like a novel. The dialogue in the exploration log is also a bit strange; it doesn't read as normal speech in my opinion. I think you need to focus more on your overall tone, and then think about what each section is really contributing here.

-1

Jak Mockery 31 Jul 2020 02:37

Did some cleaning up of it, thank you for your feedback. :)

Athenodora 31 Jul 2020 01:32

I'm very sorry to be nitpicking about this, especially since I haven't studied enough Ancient Greek to know how the prayers here should look like. But I know enough Ancient Greek to know the texts in the current version of the article don't look like Ancient Greek—the lack of breathing marks is quite conspicuous.

Also, "Oh Gaia, Earth Incarnate" would be a rather strange sentiment for an Ancient Greek prayer—it's more or less saying "Oh Earth, Earth Incarnate," basically.

Last edited on 16 Aug 2020 02:47 by Athenodora Show more

Jak Mockery 31 Jul 2020 02:34

Oh, pardon! Was meant to ommit the "Ancient" from it. Also fixed up that "Earth, Earth" tid bit. Thank you for the feedback. :)

Last edited on 31 Jul 2020 02:37 by Jak Mockery Show more

CornPuffBuddha 26 Aug 2020 03:11

Honestly, setting aside some qualms I had with the exploration log, I felt this was a really solid article. Haven't seem much like it on this site, and I enjoyed the read, so I'm giving it an upvote. (Don't have time to provide a comprehensive crit, take my measly +1 as penance).

Jak Mockery 26 Aug 2020 03:20

I'll take it, haha! If you have time to give me any feedback, I'll accept that too! I aspire to improve however I can. Thank you for your time. :)