Hi there, I'm Doctor Fullham, and I will be giving your SCP a thorough examination. Let me get my gloves on, turn your head and cough, ah, lovely. Let's begin.
I am of the belief that an SCP article should stand on its own two feet, with a self-contained narrative, disconnected from any supplemental Tales. In service of this, I have not read the linked tale, and will not until after this review is written.
My interpretation of the article is that SCP-5077 doesn't exist, it was created by the Foundation in order to, effectively, gaslight the D-Class and hide the fact that they have more power than they think. Classic oppression tactics. They made up an anomaly that only affected D-Class and used it to effectively turn them against one another. They then isolated and killed all the D-Class involved ion the riot, and blamed the deaths on 5077.
I have a few issues with this.
- A riot is something that normally takes a while to organize, and in my head, Foundation sites are not prisons. Every site does not have thousands of D-Class interned there. Why were there so many at Site-61?
- The Foundation would probably notice the beginnings of a riot and quash it early. I imagine there aren't many, if any, places that D-Class can get to without being under complete supervision.
- The D-Class have some idea of the kinds of things the Foundation deals with and how MTFs and on-site security must be armed. Hell, some of them might know that there are on-site nukes. What do they think a riot is really gonna do? How did the riot get to the point that it caused a major breach?
- Why is the Foundation bothering doing all this when they could have just mass amnestized Site-61's D-Class well before this ever happened? I also personally hc that the Foundation probably has mood suppression drugs and things like that to make the D-Class more compliant, and the threat of great violence if that fails.
- If any or all of the events were made up by the O5, it's really hard to tell.
Something about the base idea just don't sit quite right. I think the concept works, but the actions of D-Class blamed on this thing are really clashing with how I imagine the Foundation operates. Also, should this thing not be Keter? They seem to lack any real system of containment.
But the biggest issue is in a combination of two lines:
Welcome, Administrator.
- Alteration and destruction of human testing logs for SCP-████
In the universe of me as the reader of this article, you establish me as the Administrator, or someone with the same level of clearance. The Administrator. The head honcho. The big cheese. There should not be a singe shred of information that I cannot see. I am the highest clearance level that anyone at the Foundation has. I think I know why you did this. You wanted to have the feel of a cross-link but didn't want to make the mistake of a pointless cross-link. But you replaced it with a completely incongruous use of redacting information.
This may seem like a small issue, but it really shines a light on the fact that you need to remember how much access your reader has here. You could have written that first line as "destroyed human testing records for multiple anomalies," and just left it vague. But you cannot tell me I have the highest access and then hide such a relatively harmless piece of information. I was already a bit on the fence with all of the D-Class stuff, and that unfortunately tipped me to a downvote. But it was just barely over the border. With a little bit of polishing, this could easily become +1 territory.
Please let me know if you take issue or need clarification on any of the above, I am usually lurking in IRC, or you can send me a wikidot PM, though my response will likely be much slower.
(account deleted)
