Skelton image taken from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Human_skeleton_at_the_Slovenian_National_Museum.jpg
Crit credit to: Alces_alces, caspian2, Nagiros, forbiddenquest, cybersqyd, Naveil, and many others in IRC.
SCP-5091 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5091.
This is very interesting, I can't speak for anyone else, but I like this idea.
I personally really enjoyed the vibrant characterization, and you really brought out the victorian tone of SCP 5091 well! Strong upvote, and I was not expecting the ending.
(account deleted)I'll be honest, I'm very impatient, so I wasn't looking forward to reading this whole document but I can definitely say I'm glad I did. The story was paced very well and it all led to a pretty satisfying conclusion. Easy upvote.
I like the ideas here, but I feel that this article is too long for the nice but fairly simple point it's getting to. I very quickly understood that the skeleton wasn't malevolent, perceived other people's soft tissues as clothing, and didn't know he was killing people, so having multiple interviews to establish those things coupled with end notes that just explicitly say them makes the article feel like it's awkwardly belaboring the point.
Thank you for your feedback.
When rereading it had to agree, I was able to merge two interviews into one without losing their effect.
As many users find new SCPs through the Most Recently created page, I would recommend you delete the entry, make a few more revisions to comply with repost rules, and then repost it in a while, so that it appears back at the top of the list. That way, people who didn't enjoy the first iteration will see the improved version with fresh eyes.
So, I'm going to echo what Zzuxon said here, since I really got bogged down by the pacing and repetition of already established characteristics (like the skeleton being good-natured) that I felt that it lost a lot of its impact on me. This tries to parallel SCPs like PeppersGhost 'Just another murder monster', but it simply didn't work. Additionally, the note at the end felt very redundant and generally unneeded, which along with its info-dumpy nature, did not leave the SCP on a powerful note.
From these, you can see how the execution has been quite botched up, which severely affects the story. This is especially bad for your skip, which relies on a predictable and, admittedly, boring anomaly and its characterization1
So, what I am saying here is that you need to end this SCP on a powerful and memorable note, and not be so repetitive that the pacing just becomes sluggish.
Footnotes
1. Which for me did not do well with making it less boring.
The pen is the killer of fear.
I don't understand why the researcher doing the interview with SCP-5091 was in an open room with them. No barriers or apparent guards. Also, why did they send guards in during the later incident? The skeleton has already proven itself unfazed by a 10,000 volt shock, and there was no actual need to enter the room itself.
As far as I can tell the best procedure would have been to lock it up in a room and only interact with the, highly dangerous, SCP strictly via monitor and voice. Hell, the first time they encounter the thing it straight up kills three MTF members!
Down voted.
I loved this concept, while reading it i just felt both disgusted but mostly laughing on the inside because of how this SCP talks, behaves and sees everyone as simple clothes, LMAO it was both bizarre and funny, so good work!
/forum/t-13439961/scp-5091#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
