How do I remain brief when writing an SCP concept?

How do I remain brief when writing an SCP concept?

Ashton Hennessy 24 May 2020 19:04

When writing an SCP concept to put up for review, I struggle a lot to keep under the 400 word limit. I find it difficult to squeeze the concept, the narrative, explanations of possible plotholes in the narrative, and an explanation of what makes this narrative interesting, in 400 words.

I'm not complaining (well, I am a bit!), since obviously brevity is obviously useful for a writer to help them streamline their concepts, and it's convenient for reviewers. But it's hard.

So, um, any tips on keeping SCP concept pitches brief?

Last edited on 24 May 2020 19:12 by Ashton Hennessy Show more

Re: How do I remain brief when writing an SCP concept?

Zyn 24 May 2020 19:49

and an explanation of what makes this narrative interesting

As a general note, I personally recommend not doing this, since one of the quickest ways to turn a reviewer off a concept is to put a bunch of "this is interesting because" information that the reader either disagrees with or feels overwhelmed by. Readers/reviewers shouldn't need to be told why the author assumes something is entertaining.

You can state the reaction you're going for ("I'm hoping this will make readers scared and think about the implications"), but you shouldn't feel like you need to explain exactly why you expect people to like the read (compare "this is interesting because readers will be scared and they will then think about the implications"). It's the difference between "this is what I'm hoping for, am I here? If not, how can I get there?" as opposed to "here is a list of all the reasons I am already here and you should think I am already here."

any tips on keeping SCP concept pitches brief?

From this thread in the Ideas Critique forum, second post from the top: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282692/how-to-get-more-reviews

Knowing which parts of your concept summary are crucial to understanding the overall article and which parts are fluff details for the draft stage is the mark of a good author. If you have a ton of extra information that the reviewer is swimming through to get to the important stuff, it doesn't really inspire confidence in the quality of the eventual draft.

Also, consider using bullet-point lists rather than full paragraphs.

If you have a thread you want to link to, I can provide an example of how I personally would trim the content down.

Last edited on 24 May 2020 19:50 by Zyn Show more

Re: How do I remain brief when writing an SCP concept?

Ashton Hennessy 25 May 2020 00:55

‘and an explanation of what makes this narrative interesting’
Haha that was just me ‘throwing shade’ at the ‘hook’ part of the ideas template — although now I’m fairly sure I’ve fallen prey to saying ‘this is interesting because’ somewhere! Also that probably betrayed a misunderstanding of what the ‘hook’ part was intended for on my part, anyway.

I’ll keep that in mind when writing future idea pitches, thanks!

This is my latest idea attempt: [http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13369837/everything-deserves-a-happy-ending] I’m unsure which ideas are important to keep and which I can slice off for the draft (if it gets to that). Obviously ignore it if it’s too inconvenient — or if it’s too unsaveable of a post!

Thanks for the answer!

Last edited on 25 May 2020 01:00 by Ashton Hennessy Show more

Re: How do I remain brief when writing an SCP concept?

Zyn 25 May 2020 04:55

I took a quick look at the thread. Since the narrative section is the largest, here's how I would trim it down to focus on major story beats and less on the fluff, as well as be more thrifty with language. Also, I moved some material out since it wasn't story material so much as description of the entity itself.

Show Original

Special Containment Procedures are to not alter or copy this document, and to surround it with procedurally generated narratives, backed-up with *huge number* computing power to be used by *fancy name* AI upon a containment breach.

Standard pomo-SCP fare, y'know? Should tip you off that this is a format-screw: which it is, with the SCP angrily introducing itself before engaging a clinical tone-y explanation of what it is — interjecting with angry reminders that 'the Foundation made me write this'.

- Progressed from bargain bin to local newspaper before capture.

- It's got a unique ideology: believes it's morally wrong to write a work of fiction where a character suffers (partially influenced by the fact that it itself suffers when inside such a narrative). To stop this, it turns sad narratives into happy ones.

- Being sad through a fictional character is immoral, because the construct in your mind is suffering — like a pantheistic God who lets people suffer: He's still being mean, even though those people are Himself.

- The implications of its ideology: essentially, all negative ideas are bad, and, in a transhumanist-y-type way, the entire mental landscape of humanity should be changed to be composed of only happiness.

- Was difficult for the Foundation to write about it, because any information about it always had an extremely short conceptual distance from the narrative it was currently residing in, since it's a part of own narrative. It always mucked up anything they tried to write about it!

- As 'punishment', the Foundation dumped it into 'eternal suffering’ narratives until it stopped 'vandalizing' stuff written about it.

- The skip's 'fight' against these narratives fried up the AI and wasted resources, so the article's current state is acceptable enough for both parties that they aren't willing to act for now.

---

Show trimmed

ConProcs state the document cannot be altered or copied, and must be surrounded with procedurally generated narratives. If a breach occurs, an AI assigned to this is backed-up with *huge number* computing power. This hints that the page is a format screw. The SCP will angrily introduce itself and constantly interrupt its clinical documentation with angry reminders that 'the Foundation made me write this'.

The Foundation had trouble writing about the entity due to its ability to affect its own documentation. As 'punishment', the Foundation dumped it into 'eternal suffering’ narratives until it stopped 'vandalizing' stuff written about it. Eventually the entity's struggling fried up the AI and wasted resources, so the article's current state is acceptable enough for both parties that they aren't willing to act for now.

—-

The entity moved from a bargain bin to local newspaper before capture. Partially due to personal bias, it believes it's morally wrong to write fiction involving suffering characters. Being sad through a fictional character is also immoral, because the construct in your mind is suffering. To stop this, it turns sad narratives into happy ones.

Its ideology implies all negative ideas are bad, and, in a transhumanist-y-type way, the entire mental landscape of humanity should be changed to be solely happiness.

---

302 words to 210 words. I think the thing to keep in mind here is to not get too caught up in explaining how things work. Naturally, if a reviewer asks for clarification by all means provide those details. To start out though, there's no need to go into a ton of detail.

(I will say though… this seems like a combination of Fred from Series I and SCP-000. Maybe take a look at other pages tagged with "meta" to see what's been done before and make sure what you have is distinct?)

Last edited on 25 May 2020 04:55 by Zyn Show more

Re: How do I remain brief when writing an SCP concept?

Ashton Hennessy 25 May 2020 15:04

Haha wow — it's impressive that you trimmed it down that much whilst still keeping the core ideas intact! I'll keep that advice in mind, and try to use some of the techniques you used in trimming down the phrasing.

+ show block

I get that this SCP is a bit derivative: it's a keter (but not thaaaaaaaaat keter) Fred who's trapped inside of an SCP article! And who's also sassily narrating the article and 'fighting' the Foundation, which is probably a cliche that has entire subreddits dedicated to mocking!

But I think it has a enough subtle how-it-works differences to these two articles — and largely different, I'd say, narrative differences — to stand on its own two feet, although it probably requires a bit more tinkering with.

The core idea, anyway, is the SCP's strange worldview and actions in furthering that worldview, which I think is a fairly unique idea (although I understand that the way I wrote about it in the summary as a 'philosophy that I've just invented wowowow' probably doesn't give many critics faith in my ability to execute it!).

I'll decide whether to scrap the idea or just tinker and repost and try again (after it becomes super inactive for a period of time obviously) based on the 'consensus' of how derivative it is from these two ideas, and scan around the related tags to see if there's any even more egregious ripping-offs that I'm doing (and obviously scrap the idea if there are).

Thank you for taking the time to write all of this useful feedback! :D

Last edited on 25 May 2020 15:05 by Ashton Hennessy Show more

Re: How do I remain brief when writing an SCP concept?

Zyn 25 May 2020 20:44

But I think it has a enough subtle how-it-works differences to these two articles — and largely different, I'd say, narrative differences

"Existing SCP but with differences in personal beliefs" isn't likely to wow the audience.

The core idea, anyway, is the SCP's strange worldview and actions in furthering that worldview

Maybe try writing this as a tale or Group of Interest format document rather than an SCP article. Given that an SCP article that covers the inner monologue of the entity would rely on a lot of spoonfed narrative anyway (for an entity like this, most of its inner thoughts would be super apparent upon empirical observation alone without it outright saying a lot of what it thinks/is thinking), a tale or GoI format might be a more organic, believable presentation of the same information.

Last edited on 25 May 2020 20:45 by Zyn Show more

Re: How do I remain brief when writing an SCP concept?

sirpudding 25 May 2020 09:01

This is maybe what my first article (currently a respectable +186) would have looked like if we had this system at the time:

+ show block

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre: Dark Fantasy

Page Layout: Conventional SCP

Elevator Pitch: Some non-anamolous birds have learned to hunt faeries with cold iron. The Foundation can't contain the faeries so they contain the birds.

Central Narrative:

• Con-procs describe the Foundation maintaining a population of shrikes.
  • Shrikes are under conditions that allow them to teach their young and hunt in an aviary enclosure.
  • Wild instances of birds with this skill are exterminated.
• Birds kill invisible things by impaling them on barbed wire.
• Bits of tiny tools and clothing, bones and wings are in the bird's guts.
• Ending reveals that the faeries are building shrines and making sacrifices to the birds.

Hook/Attention-Grabber:

• Non-human memetics
• Cold-not-cruel allowing birds to hunt sapients in order to maintain containment.

Additional Notes: Real shrikes lack talons and use thorns, barbed wire, ect. to kill prey.

143 words.

Anyone is free to use this example if they want.

Last edited on 25 May 2020 09:41 by sirpudding Show more

Re: How do I remain brief when writing an SCP concept?

Zyn 25 May 2020 20:47

Obligatory comment that shrikes are hecking terrifying, and a great example of the "why this animal, as opposed to any other animal?" choice in writing about anomalous animals.

Last edited on 25 May 2020 20:47 by Zyn Show more