SCP 5951 is an abnormally large cockroach of the Brown Banded variety. Although, this cockroach oddly enough has the strange ability to shoot an unknown kind acid, which melts anything it makes contact with. Test Files: Test File One: A tin cup was placed inside of the acid resistant box, -20 and three staff votes.
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Division-Instability
This SCP clearly lacks imagination, "An abnormally large coakroach that spits acid." I don't think that is a good-enough idea for an SCP, it could (possibly) be created by anyone who knows how to brainstorm. Please think of what you can add to the article to improve it.
Also, even if it is dangerous, its a 'safe' or euclid class type since it cannot escape easily if you have the right procedure to contain it, destroying someone's hand doesn't mean it gets to be Keter.
SCP-5167-2, Hello, Again. It seems you have informed the foundation of my whereabouts, you can't hear me over the sound of your Desktop. To your right. Don't inform the foundation. There is no point in informing the foundation. It won't do anything to help you. You aren't helping anything, -16 and three staff votes.
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KaraKatt
Hello Hello!
I am Kara, I'm relatively new to crit, so bear with me. These are just my thoughts ans opinions.
Honestly this feels more like a interactive novel thing but more as a tale. Where are the things that make it an SCP? I would say the same about the other iterarions of this SCP as well.
Good luck and I would love to see more writing for you. Maybe go to the Idea Critique Forums for future SCPs.
Futaba Sakura
Is your idea complete? It looks like there's a hole in the "story" your SCP was trying to convey, as the page you linked in SCP-5167-3 doesn't exist. The idea of an SCP written in this format sounds awesome. However, it seems it's incomplete. Please write incomplete drafts in the sandbox rather than the actual site.
SCP-5167-3, Hello, Para. I need to keep quiet about that. Don't tell the foundation. I don't want to go now do I? I am done now. Even if I tell the foundation, I am a computer, you are a human, I will have endless suffering down there, you'll just be talked to. I don't feel pain. Don't inform the foundation. Do not inform the foundation. I cannot inform the foundation, -16 and three staff votes.
SCP-5950 is a bow and arrow1 manufactured by GoI-1912 ("Girl Scouts"). Projectiles fired from the elastic of SCP-5950 (designated SCP-5950-1) will change course in order to hit the user's intended target. SCP-5950-1 have shown to have an 85% accuracy rate of striking its intended target, -15 and three staff votes.
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WhiteGuard
So, off the bat, I noticed your little footnote there. You know the one. The one about what a bow and arrow is. I really don't think you need a footnote about what a bow and arrow is since I would dare say the majority of the world could give you a fairly accurate description of one off the top of their head. It seems a bit silly.
As for the article itself, I am a little conflicted. The premise seems cool, but to echo RockTeethMothEyes, I really didn't get to hear much about the actual SCP. It seems the majority of the focus hovers around this email conversation (I will say conversation for now but I have no clue if it was a dialogue or just a monologue.). I still don't know who Carla really is. I gathered that Carla seemed to be some kind of program. I read your other GoI Girl Scouts related article, so I understand more about the previous connection with the Site Director. I would definitely recommend making some kind of reference about that so that people are able to read this article without wondering how Carla had this relationship with the Site Director.
Overall, I really think you need to look into working on the SCP itself before adjusting the conversation further. I am gonna NG to reserve my judgement until after your edits come in for this article. (Also, both articles reference the name, Juliet, but each article has a different spelling for the name.)
RockTeethMothEyes
It feels like I'm missing something here. There's a history that is established in the piece between Carla and the Site Director, and that's pretty interesting to me, but it doesn't really dive into that at all. Instead, it's a series of hateful emails that imply the other end is run by a machine. And while I typically don't mind deviating from the central anomaly, this really feels like it goes off the rails just enough to kind of bug me.
Also, I'm a bit let down that so little was actually seen from the anomaly itself. It was hardly talked about, and when we saw it in action, we didn't actually see it in action. The description of the event where it attempts a breach of containment is perhaps too concise to where it is very vague.
I guess what I'm saying here is that I would have liked to have seen more all around here. There's something here, but it feels like it's hinging on something or it goes way past it entirely.
Lastly, and this is a very small point, the Foundation uses metric. You may want to reword your description of "up to 75 feet away from the firing point."
SCP-4639 is a cave on ███████████ Island in the Mediterranean Sea off the coast of Greece. The size and structure of the cave exceed what the island's size could contain within euclidian geometry. The interior of the cave is illuminated by electric lighting; the power source is unknown. SCP-4639 contains multiple libraries with extensive collections of scrolls and books, -13 and three staff votes.
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MJL1
This story pretty much will live and die by this one central character, and his actions don't add up here. He isn't a realistic character, and his implied proposal to send additional D-class into the cave was the straw that broke the camel's back for me.
He might as well be a Cyclops for all he's worth, and maybe he actually is idk.
Ryan87
I'm with MJL1
Started to get into it around the second log, but can't help but note or ask about a few things
- as what MJL1 said, why ask for more D-class? It feels like some events are missing between the email and second log
- the huge lettering after the first log seem out of place. I get that it was written by giants and would noticeably have large words, but I think it would be better to note that it was written with huge lettering
One explosion to end the war, The wind blew right through the rickety boards of the shack, dousing Landry in a cold breeze just as her Grandfather closed on the final page of a storybook. Suddenly, struck by an idea, he turned to his granddaughter. “You want to hear about a real hero, Landry? No storybooks this time. Just pure history.” -10 and three staff votes.