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SCP-5038 is a humanoid-like animal mostly about 1.78 meters in height and is capable of muffled human speech. The exact height and shape fluctuates. Seeing any part of SCP-5038 will give the viewer visual and auditory hallucinations about SCP-5038 for about 3 days after viewing. During this time any attempts to sleep will give the viewer nightmares about SCP-5038, -15 and three staff votes.
SCP-5601 is a .23kg half moon disk composed of a material resembling flint glass. Observing SCP-5601 with the naked eye is not possible due to light amplification operations within. Though observation via large radio waves to scan the object have proven to be safe. Hz waves of visible light ported through SCP-5601 undergo major increase in wavelength along with frequency of the wave. for example visible light shone through will result in Gamma waves, -14 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Hello hello!
I am Kara, I am very new to critiquing articles so bear with me! I want to start by saying these are opinions on how things could be done better.
So, my main question is why?
Results: [REDACTED]
Analysis: Though the production of a UHEGR via SCP-5601 had made history in theoretical physics,
UV, Xray, and especially gamma rays are from now on banned to tested with SCP-5601. The tests
results have far more cons than pros. Dr. ███████ is to be taken off SCP-5601's list of allowed
researchers." Why the [REDACTED]? I feel like that would be important information.
All and all I think this could be a cool idea but there were so many ways you could have taken it. I really hope I didn't discourage you from writing, and I would love to see you write more. I think if you used the Idea Crit forum you would have better luck.
Thank you for reading!
Also, did you mean to post this as a tale?
SCP-5455 appears as a traditional Italian restaurant that's titled, "Giovanni's". Visual analysis currently indicates that SCP-5455 is staffed by SCP-5455-A. SCP-5455-A is a number of beings with stalk-like eyes and a current unknown amount of appendages used to bring out ordered meals, take used plates and silverware back into the kitchen, and guide customers to their preferred seating area. Their temperament is usually joyous and comforting. Any edible items consumed while inside of SCP-5455 is said to give individuals a feeling of great serenity and comfort, while making them feel a better state of health than before consumption of said item. Upon leaving SCP-5455, individuals have difficulty remembering any abnormalities in SCP-5455-A's appearance, describing them, as "Just another waiter."
Deleted at -11 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
The description and log grasp at being charming through their simplicity but repeatedly fall flat on their face. The description is a mini-wall of text that reads like a toddler desperately trying to tell you about something they half-remember seeing on television yesterday. The log actually starts off promising enough with a date-night setup, but then loses that thread entirely once the breadsticks arrive and they just have an enjoyable time and then leave.
There's just… nothing here, really. Not much of a story, the description is just a disaster, and pitiful containment procedures. The one good thing I have to say is that the structure and voice present in the log isn't bad, the characters just don't have anything interesting to say or do once you place them in the SCP.
Alright here we go.
The Special Containment Procedures and Description are plagued by vague writing and uninteresting details. Proper explanation of an SCP is needed in order to create a good reading experience. The brevity included does not help it at all, highlighting the poor writing more. The video log is incredibly dull. It's literally two people waiting on their food. How you thought this was interesting to read amazes me. This skip clearly needs peer reviewing and further writing.
SCP-5160 seems to be a Standard Pink Ponk Ball but much heavier and much harder, the Size is Very Unusual and it seems its size seems to be the exact number of the number Pi in Centimetres3. Other Anomalous Effects and abilities of SCP-5160 are currently in Research.
Deleted at -19 and three votes.
SCP-5091 is a female humanoid "abnormal" and has some interest in other humanoid individuals within SCP. According to SCP-5091, she is an 18-year-old girl named Gabena, and hopes that security personnel will call her by her name.
Deleted at -23 and three votes.
SCP-5891 was a period over the course of the night of 4/13/2019, in which the universal clock was exponentially increased. This lead to an entire decade being virtually skipped over the course of 5 hours. In addition, this anomaly sprang forth into existence hundreds of new anomalies. This any link between this event and incident-█████ has been looked into and dismissed. The cause of this event is unknown, however after incident-J-█████ 05 Command has begun multiple studies into this event. (For more information see addendum 5891-B)
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
To Whom it May Concern…, The Foundation is not plotting against you, nor your fellow employees. The O5 Council does not want to kill, probe, or contain you, all we wish to do is to keep humanity safe against these things, these monsters. There is no grand, overarching conspiracy. You are safe, we do not want to kill you, -16 and three staff votes.
SCP-5986-J is a 10in X 2in X 7in paperweight in the shape of a "W". It was originally found in [DATA EXPUNGED] by 05-██, with a post-it note reading "I made this just for you guys! From Dr Wondertaignment. P.S. if it touches the ground, we'll all die." If this information is true, there is a possibility of an XK-Class-End-Of-The-World-Scenario if containment methods fail, -16 and three staff votes.
SCP-5986-J is a 10in X 2in X 7in paperweight in the shape of a "W". It was originally found in [DATA EXPUNGED] by 05-██, with a post-it note reading "I made this just for you guys! From Dr Wondertaignment. P.S. if it touches the ground, we'll all die." If this information is true, there is a possibility of an XK-Class-End-Of-The-World-Scenario if containment methods fail, -14 and three staff votes.
SCP-5601 refers to a condition in which individuals affected are subject to visions of being killed by numerous anomalies in containment. Research has concluded that the affected are witnessing actual deaths, first hand. These deaths are that of expired personal, lost in active duty. As a result, these visions cause convulsing, vomiting, and eventual loss of self-awareness. The affliction can be recognized by slightly clouded bloodshot eyes, and an extreme sense of panic, as well as reports of seeing creatures, many of which match the description of anomalies stored on Foundation sites. SCP-5601 is seen as a security risk. These visions allow the affected to see in and around the facility if they have never been present in them.
Deleted by me after a failed self-delete, with cybersqyd witnessing.
SCP-5509 is a wetware computer terminal that is very notably overclocked with water-coolant, and has what appear to be complex tubing resembling brain matter. The screen is curved inward as to provide a larger viewing terminal and it's keyboard is that of a QWERTY keyboard with extra keys with symbols not normally found, including Σ,Ω,∞, and █. Most added keys have been found to change depending on the user's expectations. It's speakers are unidentified, but found to be a much higher quality and while only being a display device, is somehow able to allow subjects to permanently hear a larger range of sounds from a limit of ████db to ███db. Multiple desktop shortcuts include standard programs such as "Recycle Bin" and "Paint" as well as programs serving the previous owner's use such as "███ █████" and "███████" which is coincidentally also a standard for Foundation computers to have. Upon startup, a "Terms of Agreement" may pop up depending on who is/has accessed the terminal. The terms of agreement always state it will do as told it is told as long as it's own existence is not endangered, and by agreeing to said terms (which anyone who does will be known as SCP-5556-1), if SCP-5509 is felt endangered and the agreement has been breached, it will [DATA REDACTED] without hesitation.
Deleted at -16 and three votes.
SCP-5085 is a female Samoyed with copper eyes and dense, pure white fur. The dog appears to come from a small, loving middle class family. After it returned to its owner, the SCP Foundation gained insight in its abilities. The Ellis’ had apparently gotten SCP-5085 as a pup to ease their daughter’s grief about her grandmother's passing.The daughter reported that she noticed something off about SCP-5085 even then, whom at the time she named Layla. She stated that SCP-5085 seemed more aware than other dogs, and she would often watch her and her family closely whenever they were together. After her mom fell ill, SCP-5085 became more attentive than ever and finally, on the night of her mother's passing, SCP-5085 disappeared altogether.
Deleted at -21 and three votes.
SCP is 5955 is an eight tentacle cephalopod each tentacle stretching from 1-2 m long. Otherwise the main part of the body is 2 m x 1 m x 1 m. If SCP 5955 is to be unfrozen it is to immediately refrozen. If not SCP 5955 will grow to the size to any space that it is in. Weather that is a 4 m x 4 m x 4 m room or a 20 m x 13 x 15 m room, it will grow to that size.
Deleted at -26 and three votes.
SCP-5088 was discovered feasting on a human corpse in the North Atlantic Ocean during the rescue mission of the SS █████ ████ ███ , and resembles the typical depiction of a mermaid, with three gills on each side of its torso and webbed fingers as well as webbed ears. It weighs in at 180 lbs and is approximately 6 feet long from head to fin. The subject possesses sharp teeth and a strong jaw, powerful enough to crush bones without much effort, -14 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Hello hello!
I am Kara, and I'm relatively new to crit so bear with me. These are mostly my thoughts and opinions.
b) hold its victim under water until they █████
c) ██████ the victim's throat with ███ ████"
"This, considering the location it was found at, may or may not tie it to many of the disappearances in the [REDACTED]." The blanks feel like they could be replaced with anything.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this article, and I feel like there was so much to go with. I think working on those things would be a good thing to work on. I hope I didn't discourage you from writing and I would love to see more things written my you.
Also, did you do the art work? Its frickin amazing!
SCP-4786 is a plastic bag containing 72 Snapple brand bottle caps, each of which containing a vague yet offsettingly sinister phrase within, instead of the ordinary factoid that Snapple bottle caps typically contain. Individual Snapple caps originating from SCP-4786 are referred to as SCP-4786-1. While SCP-4786-1 is non-anomalous in every way except the phrase within, as when a human reads the phrase, now referred as SCP-4786-2 within 2 and 22 minutes, a shadowy figure, referred to as SCP-4786-3, appears within 60 feet of SCP-4786-2, -17 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Considering they just caused a globally known species to be erased, which definitely just cracked the Veil in half in addition to probably upsetting a vital part of the Antarctic ecosystem, why on god's green earth would they keep drawing caps? There's absolutely no benefit to drawing them.
author reply:
Because the foundation still doesn't know the full anomalous effects of the SCP. If, for example, there were an SCP that was a deck of card and drawing certain cards would make certain things happen, and they drew a bad card that, say, make coffee impossible to digest, would they simple stop experimenting simply because one card had an undesirable effect? Although SCP-4786 doesn't yield any possible good effects after a single draw, is it still possible there are good effects? Probably not, but thats besides the point
reviewer reply:
Let's look at what they got in the first three times.
"Did you know? Emperor Penguins do not, in fact, exist."
Caused the dissapearance of an entire species, breaking the Veil. Also almost certainly dsirupted the ecosystem.
"Despite common belief, fiddler crabs are larger than your average house cat!"
Supersized about 100 different species of crabs, punching the veil in half and also probably disrupting the ecosystem again.
"The phrase 'Butter my Biscuits' can only be spoken once."
Collapses the Veil again.
The 05's are confident, however, that it will undo itself or perhaps show itself to be an asset in the future with just a bit more testing.
Either the O5's are trying to destroy the foundation, or they're complete idiots who stumbled into the positions by dumb luck after the last ones decided to give 076 a hug. Do they even know what pattern recognition is? If you press a button three times, and it shocks you three times, why would you keep pressing it and think a cookie would come out?
I feel like it's reasonable to say they would not keep testing on the bottlecaps, since doing so always has a chance of doing something just as bad or worse than turning an entire penguin species extinct.
Going by a simple example like you did with your cards, imagine you had a vending machine that has the chance of immediately dropping a random snack the second you give it money, however there's also the chance nothing happens, and there's also the chance it shocks the user instead and each shock is more dangerous than the last one. Would you keep putting in money because there's a chance you get your favorite snack? Or would you walk away after the first shock because you know it can get worse than that?
Hello Hello!
I am Kara, I'm not exactly good at crit, but I can give my ideas! Please note that most of these are just my thoughts and opinions, and nothing here is meant to make you feel bad.
Anyway, I feel like if you could take out the information risks, or make the area of effect smaller this would be less of a thing riding on everyone's minds. I didn't mean to come off mean with this and I do like this idea. You did very good, its just a lot of what happens here was kind of non-sense. I would really love to see you write more and I hope I didn't discourage you.
I would suggest going to the idea crit forums next time and working your way through that.
Thank you for reading! Good luck in future endeavors!
author reply:
Hi there Kara! I read your critique and i want to let you know im not at all upset by it, but i do want to go over some of the points you had.
1. Scientists, or any personnel, are not murdered, they are effectively fired for causing any sort of possible damage. Thats why their POSITION is terminated, not them.
2.What do you mean by "Information risk" as you say multiple times? I don't really understand what that means.
3. This is about points 2-6. The instances of SCP-4786, or the Snapple bottle caps, are ridiculously abusurd and incorrect for a reason, as they are not actual facts. However, when the cap is read, these false facts become reality, as is the whole point of the SCP.
Thats all ive really gathered, if you could get back to me on those points id appreciate it. Thanks!
reviewer reply:
Alright, thanks for following up!
Whats the point of terminating their position?
An information risk (and I'm probably using the wrong term) is just something that poses a serious risk to the veil, or could pose a threat to the information held by the Foundation.
Then for 3, I know its fiction I kept saying that. To me it just felt like absurdity for the sake of absurdity. Which can work, but this just felt random… It's like what Cerates said, why would they take more bottle caps from the bag if there was no way to reverse the effects?
Thank you for following up. Good luck my dude!
SCP-4786 is a plastic bag containing 72 Snapple brand bottlecaps, each containing a randomized factoid that is absurdly false, unlike other non-anomalous Snapple caps.
The fact that you only list one of these facts is a massive wasted opportunity.
The execution here is the problem, more than the concept. The concept might have already been done elsewhere, I'm not sure, but it seems fine to me. Refine this one by getting lots of critique.
SCP-5489 was formerly known as Jeremy █████████. Jeremy █████████ was a Janitor working at Site-██. SCP-5489-2 is a mop with a wooden handle that has unknown links to SCP-5489. SCP-5489-3 is a pair of Apple earphones that connect to no known socket. These earphones do not produce any sound. When SCP-5489 removes SCP-5489-3 from its ears SCP-5489 will bleed from the ears before promptly wiping them away. SCP-5489 will not notice anything else other than SCP-5489-2 while SCP-5489-3 is present. SCP-5489 will also dodge any incoming projectiles or forceful actions while SCP-5489-3 is present.
Deleted at -23 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
I remember seeing this in the ideas forum when I was flicking through New Posts earlier today. You really should've waited at least a day for criticism. Using bright or any other author avatar in your skip without an actual justification kinda just makes it look like you're leaning on the popularity of the character as a crutch for the article.
The actual article is quite frankly, pretty boring and does not even look remotely like a finished article. I recommend doing a lot more work on this idea.
SCP-5269 is a blue fountain pen with no label from the 1970s that has infinite ink and is made out of a mix of aluminium and iron. It was found at [REDACTED] in Denmark.
Deleted at -20 and three votes.
SCP 5951 is an abnormally large cockroach of the Brown Banded variety. Although, this cockroach oddly enough has the strange ability to shoot an unknown kind acid, which melts anything it makes contact with. Test Files: Test File One: A tin cup was placed inside of the acid resistant box, -20 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
This SCP clearly lacks imagination, "An abnormally large coakroach that spits acid." I don't think that is a good-enough idea for an SCP, it could (possibly) be created by anyone who knows how to brainstorm. Please think of what you can add to the article to improve it.
Also, even if it is dangerous, its a 'safe' or euclid class type since it cannot escape easily if you have the right procedure to contain it, destroying someone's hand doesn't mean it gets to be Keter.
SCP-5167-2, Hello, Again. It seems you have informed the foundation of my whereabouts, you can't hear me over the sound of your Desktop. To your right. Don't inform the foundation. There is no point in informing the foundation. It won't do anything to help you. You aren't helping anything, -16 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Hello Hello!
I am Kara, I'm relatively new to crit, so bear with me. These are just my thoughts ans opinions.
Honestly this feels more like a interactive novel thing but more as a tale. Where are the things that make it an SCP? I would say the same about the other iterarions of this SCP as well.
Good luck and I would love to see more writing for you. Maybe go to the Idea Critique Forums for future SCPs.
Is your idea complete? It looks like there's a hole in the "story" your SCP was trying to convey, as the page you linked in SCP-5167-3 doesn't exist. The idea of an SCP written in this format sounds awesome. However, it seems it's incomplete. Please write incomplete drafts in the sandbox rather than the actual site.
SCP-5167-3, Hello, Para. I need to keep quiet about that. Don't tell the foundation. I don't want to go now do I? I am done now. Even if I tell the foundation, I am a computer, you are a human, I will have endless suffering down there, you'll just be talked to. I don't feel pain. Don't inform the foundation. Do not inform the foundation. I cannot inform the foundation, -16 and three staff votes.
SCP-5950 is a bow and arrow1 manufactured by GoI-1912 ("Girl Scouts"). Projectiles fired from the elastic of SCP-5950 (designated SCP-5950-1) will change course in order to hit the user's intended target. SCP-5950-1 have shown to have an 85% accuracy rate of striking its intended target, -15 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
So, off the bat, I noticed your little footnote there. You know the one. The one about what a bow and arrow is. I really don't think you need a footnote about what a bow and arrow is since I would dare say the majority of the world could give you a fairly accurate description of one off the top of their head. It seems a bit silly.
As for the article itself, I am a little conflicted. The premise seems cool, but to echo RockTeethMothEyes, I really didn't get to hear much about the actual SCP. It seems the majority of the focus hovers around this email conversation (I will say conversation for now but I have no clue if it was a dialogue or just a monologue.). I still don't know who Carla really is. I gathered that Carla seemed to be some kind of program. I read your other GoI Girl Scouts related article, so I understand more about the previous connection with the Site Director. I would definitely recommend making some kind of reference about that so that people are able to read this article without wondering how Carla had this relationship with the Site Director.
Overall, I really think you need to look into working on the SCP itself before adjusting the conversation further. I am gonna NG to reserve my judgement until after your edits come in for this article. (Also, both articles reference the name, Juliet, but each article has a different spelling for the name.)
It feels like I'm missing something here. There's a history that is established in the piece between Carla and the Site Director, and that's pretty interesting to me, but it doesn't really dive into that at all. Instead, it's a series of hateful emails that imply the other end is run by a machine. And while I typically don't mind deviating from the central anomaly, this really feels like it goes off the rails just enough to kind of bug me.
Also, I'm a bit let down that so little was actually seen from the anomaly itself. It was hardly talked about, and when we saw it in action, we didn't actually see it in action. The description of the event where it attempts a breach of containment is perhaps too concise to where it is very vague.
I guess what I'm saying here is that I would have liked to have seen more all around here. There's something here, but it feels like it's hinging on something or it goes way past it entirely.
Lastly, and this is a very small point, the Foundation uses metric. You may want to reword your description of "up to 75 feet away from the firing point."
SCP-4639 is a cave on ███████████ Island in the Mediterranean Sea off the coast of Greece. The size and structure of the cave exceed what the island's size could contain within euclidian geometry. The interior of the cave is illuminated by electric lighting; the power source is unknown. SCP-4639 contains multiple libraries with extensive collections of scrolls and books, -13 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
This story pretty much will live and die by this one central character, and his actions don't add up here. He isn't a realistic character, and his implied proposal to send additional D-class into the cave was the straw that broke the camel's back for me.
He might as well be a Cyclops for all he's worth, and maybe he actually is idk.
I'm with MJL1
Started to get into it around the second log, but can't help but note or ask about a few things
One explosion to end the war, The wind blew right through the rickety boards of the shack, dousing Landry in a cold breeze just as her Grandfather closed on the final page of a storybook. Suddenly, struck by an idea, he turned to his granddaughter. “You want to hear about a real hero, Landry? No storybooks this time. Just pure history.” -10 and three staff votes.
Not sure exactly how to go about this, but I chose to self-delete my joke SCP, SCP-80085-J, which I think I did right. The discussion thread is still up, though, so that can be deleted too.
Link for the thread here:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13226554/scp-80085-j
My eyes are down here
