SCP-5832 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5832.

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A Threadbare Childhood

AbsentmindedNihilist 26 Mar 2020 19:32

chrome don't crash on me this time you fucker

This is my shortest piece to date. Perhaps not coincidentally, it took me under 8 hours to write - my shortest time spent on a piece ever. This evolved and grew into its full form so quickly it's honestly somewhat terrifying.

spoilers

This is who you think it is. This was inspired by ARD's 3220. What 3220 is to 173, this is to 231. 231 is a blustery and dramatic piece about the world's worst act being perpetrated for the safety of all. The girl is a narrative object meant to stoke our fears about this horrible thing being done. She's not a person, because if the Foundation recognized her as a person, they couldn't possibly continue.

The DoA, in my mind, is a larval, base, shadow archetype of the Foundation. Ergo, this article is an inversion of the original. The DoA will not let you forget that this is a little girl. She is suffering the worst kind of abuse in a tiny world that consists of two rooms and a hallway. This does not erase her inherent status as a little girl.

She has a childhood - a washed out, neglectful, pitiful childhood, that has just enough attention paid to it that readers can compare it to their own younger years and find it lacking and terrible, but she is a child and she is real, and she lived here. The DoA will not let the Foundation forget that.

And to answer the question that I keep getting: it doesn't matter what the stuff is on her doggie's fur. It could be semen, tears, vomit, anything. All that matters is that her only soft toy was dirty, and no longer soft.

Huge thanks to A Random Day for helping me guide this piece into completion, and to Captain Kirby for the title and helping me punch up the ending. plaidypus and gee0765 also looked at this, and for that I am grateful. Thank you for reading.

Last edited on 26 Mar 2020 19:47 by AbsentmindedNihilist Show more

Re: A Threadbare Childhood

AbsentmindedNihilist 05 Dec 2022 00:36

If anyone ever wants to see what this would look like in film format, go watch Kyle Edward Ball's short film Heck. You won't regret it.

rattles 26 Mar 2020 19:56

Extraordinarily evocative. I actually gasped when I googled mifepristone.

AbsentmindedNihilist 26 Mar 2020 20:19

That was my intent; I'm delighted it worked.

Little edit

SomeoneWhoHasAname 26 Mar 2020 20:19

Hey, if you don’t mind, I think it would be a good idea to add the next / previous scp code. I know the scp don’t exist yet, but just for later use…

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A person in this world.
Hope everything is all fine.

-SWHAN

Re: Little edit

aismallard 30 Mar 2020 06:42

Wikiwalk footers are generally added in a large batch after the current series is mostly complete.

barredowl 26 Mar 2020 20:27

Yeah, fuck this (but in a good way). This made me so extraordinarily uncomfortable in such a short amount of time that I can't help but applaud your work here. The inability to vocalize kinda does it for me. All shades of fucked up when you start to think about it.

+1.

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svaria

Last edited on 26 Mar 2020 20:28 by barredowl Show more

Naepic 26 Mar 2020 20:40

This… this hurt.

+ show block

It is completed normally, save that all images of Prince Adam from Beauty and the Beast have been colored over and scratched out using the red crayon.

No sentence has ever made me feel dread faster than this. Ever. There is a very distinct death of innocence in this line: there is no Prince Charming to save her - or if she had one, that he ruined her in a way that fairy tales don't matter anymore. There is no coping when your coping mechanism has been shattered before your eyes.

You can't escape with the dog - what was once soft is crusted to the point where you've lost something comforting. You can't escape with the game - there's no true contact to be made with the lack of speech.

There's just nothing.

picnicblanket 01 Apr 2020 16:24

Seriously, that sentence hit fucking hard. Up until that point I was thinking that she was the source of the anti-vocalization effect, but… really seems like the opposite is the case. Fuuuck does this article hurt.

Hexick 26 Mar 2020 21:15

This was done very well in terms of bringing about emotion related to the piece. The overall mystery and unease caused by the theme and meaning of the article were more than enough for me to enjoy it.
+1

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Hexick, SCP Wiki Moderator
Personal site: http://hexhouse.wikidot.com/
Feel free to forward any concerns or inquiries to my Wikidot inbox.

Nagiros 26 Mar 2020 22:49

Contents of the dresser include a charm bracelet with one attached charm - a birthday cake with seven candles.

Well, here we go again.

In all seriousness, though, it's an impressive feat to make me terrified for a character who doesn't properly exist. +1, easily, and thanks for posting.

Sonderance 27 Mar 2020 00:03

Considering this in terms of intentional connection to 231, this is an exceptional piece of commentary on how the Foundation's standard clinical tone is designed to remove all connection to the humanity of the people described in its articles. 231 describes a tormented child as an object; here, in an incredibly skilled and careful fashion, you've described a tormented child by the objects left behind.
In terms of the actual form and content of the piece, if it wasn't for the disturbing subject matter, this would easily become one of my go-to examples for insinuating a powerful story and instilling emotion in your audience. without sacrificing clinical tone. Every object described adds to the narrative in a palpable and unique way. +1 without a doubt.

Christopoulos 27 Mar 2020 01:23

This article has been the hardest vote I've ever made on this site, and not even because of how the content affected me.

EDIT: Removed my thoughts that no longer reflect my view on this article. My upvote still stands.

Thank you for your work.

Last edited on 07 Jul 2020 22:11 by Christopoulos Show more

AbsentmindedNihilist 27 Mar 2020 01:36

The faucet suggestion is a fair point, I'll consider that. Perhaps in the water that is found in the toilet.

With regards to your other thoughts - this is not meant to ride the coattails of the more famous skip which inspired it. It is meant as a critique and as a challenge to what I find to be a deeply flawed article, though one that I still find fascinating. It is intended to take that article's biggest oversight and dig deeper into that wound rather than letting it be covered up.

I'm glad this article created these feelings and intense discussion, I really wanted it to do that. Thank you for spending time on this, it means quite a lot.

Nagiros 27 Mar 2020 02:43

It is meant as a critique and as a challenge to what I find to be a deeply flawed article, though one that I still find fascinating.

That explains it. That makes so much goddamn sense now. I thought I was weird for not being as enthused about 231 as everyone else but now I get why it didn't click for me: it was missing that piece of humanity in favor of focusing on the Foundation's ethical strife. You've put into words why I thought the article failed and I didn't even know I disliked 231.

I keep liking this article more and more (in that "I hate this so much" kind of way).

djkaktus 27 Mar 2020 01:58

Yo fuck this article dog

rattles 27 Mar 2020 02:41

OMG does this mean more DoA articles are allowed? breathes heavily

EDIT: Just followed those crosslinks. I am dumb.

Last edited on 27 Mar 2020 02:49 by rattles Show more

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