SCP-5991 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5991.

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Author Post

Westrin 19 Mar 2020 11:07

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Enjoy the perfect Christian experience with the Lord!

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I've been working on this one for a bit longer than usual and it's been in my sandbox collecting dust during jamcon, so I've decided now's a better time than never to release it.

Thanks to everyone who read this, I don't remember you all, but I do remember Brewsterion 1017, Deadly Bread, JustBixby and Tanhony. If I forgot you, please bug me and I'll add you in.

Oh, and huge thanks to pastarasta1 for coming up with the title.

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Art

Vore Jesus

More of their stuff can be found here

Jesus B-Day Eggs, only $343!

Jesus Bobbleheads 50% Off! (Content Warning)

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His Holy Maw (Content Warning)

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Only nerds have signatures

Last edited on 17 Apr 2020 03:56 by Westrin Show more

SophoclesB 21 Nov 2020 10:49

One of my favorite SCPs so far. It's a bit whacky but that's what makes it unique for me without stopping it from being creepy. As a newbie I wouldn't change anything except for one thing. Correct me if I'm wrong but, wouldn't SCP-5991-1's stomach be measured in km^3 instead of km^2 as it isn't a 2 dimensional plain?

Last edited on 21 Nov 2020 23:19 by SophoclesB Show more

Westrin 23 Nov 2020 05:06

Good point, fixed

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Re: Author Post

SilverGriffinflare 01 Feb 2021 12:46

Aww, I can't see those pictures, all the links are dead! ):
EDIT: Nevermind I figured out how it works lol

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VIEWER BEWARE, YOU'RE IN FOR A SCARE

Last edited on 01 Feb 2021 12:47 by SilverGriffinflare Show more

(account deleted) 19 Mar 2020 11:35

Ah, yes, I remember this in the SCPD Discord. It was quite a fun read, really. I did remember that I kept a straight "wtf" face (in a good way) all the way through. Good work!

Rody The Pterodactyl 19 Mar 2020 12:35

You already winned me with the "eating a whole bible" and "mouth Jesus" thing.
+1

FourMinorSix 19 Mar 2020 13:46

+ SPaG stuff

However the chances of SCP-5991's activation requirements

However, (add comma)

"The Edwards-Francis Agreement" was passed with the Vatican government, which state that

states that

unauthorized information regarding SCP-5991 and its triggers are to be removed

is to be removed

SCP-5991 will not trigger if the subject consumes a bible as well as another substance

Bible (capitalise)

SCP-5991-1 will approach the subject and unhinge their jaw, allowing it to consume a human without difficulty.

Inconsistent pronouns there - I suppose this also feels redundant in view of the following sentence?

SCP-5991-2 themed memorabilia

SCP-5991-2-themed memorabilia (hyphenate)

The children's books describe events that never occurred within the old or new testaments

Old or New Testaments (capitalise)

a large approximately 50kg pile of animal feces can be found

I'd suggest rewording to "a large pile containing approximately 50 kg of animal feces can be found" or something to that effect!

Analysis of the feces suggest that the animal that created it

suggests.

Well, this is kind of oddball. I guess the article is played fairly straight, but the honey in the bindings is a delightful thing to ponder, and there's a wry irony to there being an unfinished church inside this thing. Lovely!

Bottleofwater 21 Mar 2020 12:51

Didn't look over the whole article, but I would also change this:

SCP-5991-1 will approach the subject and unhinge its own jaw. SCP 5991-1 will violently shove the subject down its throat and into its stomach

To

SCP-5991-1 will approach the subject and unhinge its own jaw. SCP-5991-1 will then violently shove the subject down its throat and into its stomach,

Don't know of it's just me, but I think that would make reading that paragraph slightly smoother. I put this in a reply so if Westrin sees your post he'll probably see this as well.

Last edited on 21 Mar 2020 12:55 by Bottleofwater Show more

Dr Remember 19 Mar 2020 14:31

I get what the article is going for, but personally it doesn't do it for me. It's too wacky. There are also too many extraneous details, which, I guess, could be necessary if one was going to describe the place, and they probably reference certain things. If I don't see it that's on me.
-1

Last edited on 19 Mar 2020 14:31 by Dr Remember Show more

ratking666 19 Mar 2020 21:04

I enjoyed this a lot, especially the mouth Jesus, which is a fun and freaky image.

1+

My only criticism would be that some of the details would seem better fit in an exploration log than an article.

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pastarasta1 is quick-talking and often scheming

Last edited on 19 Mar 2020 21:05 by ratking666 Show more

Deadly Bread 19 Mar 2020 23:19

Vore Jesus

Brewsterion 1017 20 Mar 2020 01:43

I like how you addressed my main concerns with how the place was described. pastarasta does have a very good point in that an exploration log could have likely conveyed these details better, but as is, I feel good about upvoting it.

Its a Bad Idea 20 Mar 2020 06:00

I feel the same as most in this thread in terms of how details were presented, but I’m upvoting just on the imagery and concept alone.

Crow-Cat 22 Mar 2020 20:16

I have to disagree with the other commenters regarding the lack of an exploration log; I much prefer the brevity this article has right now, though that could be do to my recent craving for flash-fiction.

ratking666 23 Mar 2020 04:03

That's a fair point, flash fiction is awesome.

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pastarasta1 is quick-talking and often scheming

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