Here’s my entry for Round 3 of JamCon, “More than meets the eye”. Thanks to AlanDaris, Henzoid and Helly for their feedback!
seven world (universe?)-destroying entities disguised as marbles in a bowl. Love it, was always kind of sucker for the In/Out pointer-style hyperminimalism
+1
This is ingenious, really. I like the use of DoMC for the "metaphysical camouflage", and the footnotes paint a perfectly concerning picture of what's going on. Upvoted.
Really like this interpretation of the theme. The formatting of the foot notes also adds an extra touch. +1
Artist and Prospect Writer. Will draw a skip if interesting enough. (@headlesscentaur)
I was under the assumption that the foundation just makes endless gold from cloning scips or found an uninhabited alternate universe full of resources. My mental canon really doesn’t leave much room for the foundation going bankrupt. Impending destruction of all of its sites by a godly entity, sure. An issue as small as money even beginning to slow them down? I don’t buy it. (Pun intended)
Since all the talk about Budgets and Bankruptcy is on the same level as the "china bowl and 7 cherries", it seems pretty likely that it's part of the metaphysical camouflage mentioned. If you look at the footnotes next to the mentions of budget and bankruptcy, there's some pretty big clues for what's actually happening.
This is by far one of Tanhony’s best pieces. I actually sort of prefer it to my other favorite, 5000.
When I read this, I loved "BK-class scenario" for the Foundation's declaration of bankruptcy (due to the negative financial impact). Unfortunately, on closer inspection, it's in a footnote so it must be a real K-class scenario.
Damn, this is really, really fucking good. I've always wanted to see the DoMC tackle/be applied to a more existentially threatening anomaly, and the workaround that they found, as well as the story being implied through the footnotes, was just brilliant. These kinds of articles never fail to impress and entertain me. Upvoted with gusto.
And if the whole world is crashing down… fall through space out of mind with me.
I like the core idea behind this article, but I feel like the subtextual story could have crept up on us way more slowly (and effectively). Demonstrating the scale of the problem through 'budgetary concerns' (provided via footnotes) is a sublime way to escalate the stakes — but before we even get out of the containment procedures, you've already let that cat out of its proverbial bag.
I feel like this would have worked much more effectively if you'd made it look like an ordinary china bowl with marbles that the Foundation had some sort of fixation on destroying. Let the 'rising action' be more subtle; the increasing budgetary issues is our only real hint (though I love the bit about using anomalies to construct a sledge-hammer — and I'd definitely say keep that final killer footnote). It makes the mention of Foundation bankruptcy feel more poignant, I think.
Either way, the article is doing well — and I definitely like the use of indirect story-telling. Good luck with it!
Reading the final footnote genuinely made my stomach turn. It's such a good conclusion to an already incredible article.