SCP-5350 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5350.

HammerMaiden 14 Mar 2020 02:56

Line by line incoming, hold onto your butts.

+ Here's the skinny...

Right from the jump I'm skeptical because this is a contagion skip published in the middle of a global pandemic. That is almost certainly going to be viewed as being in poor taste. But I'll give it a fair shake.

and range from mammalian, insectoid, and cephalopodian in physical appearance.

When you go from something, you go "to" another thing or it feels odd. I'd recommend "wide range such as" or some similar phrase.

and lasts can only last outside of a host for 30 minutes before expiring

Oop. extra word there.

The only people with immunity to SCP-5350-A growth are those who have either vegetarian or vegan diets.

This connection feels somewhat preachy to me. Feels tacked-on. Did in the ConProcs, too. I'll hold judgement until I can tell where you're going with it, though.

The Picture.

So, it started me off thinking "how would the Foundation let it get that far?", then thinking about the scope of the problem:

Due to wide consumption of meat contaminated with SCP-5350 before the Foundation was fully aware of the anomaly, a significant portion of the population had been infected.

How could they not miss it? They'd have to clean it up, though. How would they -

A joint action between the Foundation, World Parahealth Organization (WPO), Manna Charitable Foundation (MCF), and Unusual Incidents Unit (UIU) was organized to stop the spread of SCP-5350.

And that's what makes it work. You cashed the check your ConProcs wrote. Scale is a really important thing in Storytelling and it's well managed here.

<Begin Log>

During introduction the prose is a bit hard going. Comes off robotic and unnatural. But after that this is all fine. Good, productive, compelling information delivered by characters that were fairly well developed. Well done, I enjoyed myself.

With animals, there's more than meets the eye.

Are We Cool Yet?

Eeesh. I'm conflicted about the resolution. It seems unrealized, missing its full potential somehow. I mean, this is an anartist, right? And this project of theirs was huge. There should be more than a couple of lines on a sheet of paper. I'm expecting some weird avante-garde shit. You could show more about who she is through her art along with the viral attack.

Overall, this is pretty good. Doesn't fully live up to its potential, but it deserves to be here I think. It's a pretty good skip. I'd forgotten Broken Masquerade was a thing. This is a pretty good one.

And the anomaly is pretty righteous, too. +1 for body horror.

Last edited on 14 Mar 2020 04:02 by HammerMaiden Show more

Sources

Anorrack 16 Mar 2020 02:30

Social media posts made by me

Informational pamphlet is highly edited version of a CDC informational pamphlet. All materials produced and distributed by the CDC are within Public Domain

Last edited on 20 Oct 2020 19:32 by Anorrack Show more

Hexick 19 Mar 2020 01:13

I really enjoyed this, the reactions both reasonable and illogical shown in people that occur in similar situations gave a realistic feel to the story of how people in the BM cannon would act during the outbreak of an anomalous virus. The final correlation with AWCY although surprising didn't feel forced and instead felt natural for a group of its type.
+1

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Last edited on 19 Mar 2020 01:13 by Hexick Show more

NoName2087 26 Mar 2021 19:21

The "thaumoshot" seems to be more like a treatment rather than a proper vaccine. Other than that complaint, I certainly enjoyed the SCP and the in-universe response to it.

Ralliston 13 Nov 2021 12:51

That image is fucking phenomenal.

Fates End 21 Nov 2021 22:36

Rather unique, and a nice addition to the BM canon. The pictures are nice too. The parallels with current events are a bit heavy handed though, and the article could use some, forgive the pun, more meat to it. Still +1 for the concept alone.

Void Xenon 25 Apr 2022 19:10

I am so riddled with pandemic brain that I find the idea that the pandemic will be over to be wish fulfillment. Anyway, I like the internet screenshots and the eyeball pestilence. It sparks the imagination in terms of eyeball based world-building +1

My-Off-Day 27 Apr 2022 17:14

Agreeing with above, the image used is so spot on I almost upvoted on that alone.

The rest of the article is well done, I'm a huge sucker for contagion stories and I liked the focus of the team rather than just the spooky effects of the disease.

My only crit is the argument scene between Medicae/Roth about resetting the planet. It's a good line of thought, but the wording of their dialogue felt very generic IMO.

+1 tho for an entertaining piece. Damn AWCY

+1

GlassAutomaton 27 Oct 2022 16:08

I really like the way this article shows something that might have been world-ending before BM and showing how the new status quo impacts how things like this are resolved. As was previously stated, the CADC poster was a great touch, and the Facebook post was a great touch. The Twitter and Reddit posts were a little tone deaf but Twitter and Reddit are just like that.

I will say that Medicae's dialogue was a little odd. I understand where the character is coming from but she shifts from timid to combative very quickly and some of her lines feel a tad generic. The cloning thing also feels sudden and like a bit of a cop-out.

Those are minor complaints, however, and I still find the article to be a solid upvote from me.

FeatheredSnek 08 Nov 2022 12:38

I will say like how animatic it is, we open with massive stakes, many deaths, and a beautiful setting of the scene that evokes emotion now more than every. And then they just resolve it in a way that only works in a BM scenario. And it was just meant to be a animal rights protest. I love it.