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SCP-5097, It seems as if the switch is like a secret lever to open up a door that leads into a tunnel down below the building it was found it I tried testing it for myself and it did open a secret door up, but it was creepy. The person that explained what it did to me wasn't lying it looks like there are creepy writings on the wall that looks like it is made of blood, improper self-deletion, cleared at -17 with TSATPWTCOTTTADC witnessing.
Feedback ported:
SCPs aren't supposed to be written in first person unless the perspective is relevant to the piece.
Yeah, going to have to agree with best grill Futaba on this one. You're not supposed to write an SCP like this. The concept… I don't really understand either. It might be because I'm not used to the wacky format you used here, but… yeah.
SCP-5027 is a 18-21' inch blue dog collar made of tight kevlar with metal lining wrapped around it that varies in it's fitting and weighs approximately 1.3 kilograms. Depending on the canine it finds suitable to be attached to, the weight, width and length are interchangeable. SCP-5027's anomalous effect is its ability to metamorphosize itself to fit around the neck of any given canine it comes into contact with, -17 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
The grammar needs a lot of work. As in, I can find an error in almost every sentence you've written, mostly in the grammar but also in the tone.
You've called the containment procedures for all other SCPs "obtuse" in the first five seconds of reading your article, so you immediately put off anyone who has written an article here before by insulting them. I'm not sure if that's accidental, maybe you don't understand the word fully, but it's not a great way to get people to help you.
Keep in mind that in-universe, the people writing these articles have at the bare minimum a university education. They are educated scientists who have been writing scientific papers for over 4 years and been corrected by their professors until they are writing nearly perfectly. Not only that, but they're considered to be very GOOD scientists in order to be recruited.
When we read these, we want to believe they are real, written by real scientists. The level of grammatical perfection expected is huge compared to the average story. It's not an easy task as a writer.
My best suggestion is usually to just keep reading. Read the previous series, so you can limit exposure to only the pieces that are already approved. The most enjoyable way to learn how to write well is by reading something you like. Obviously there are other ways to learn, but by far reading is the most fun way.
SCP-5673 is an enormous entity that has been classified as a planet killer. It appears to be like any other vapour cloud in the dark reaches of space however on closer examination it was revealed that it is a cloud of entities that not only survive in space but feed off of stars. SCP-5673 has been designated the name “Death's Shadow” as it's one of the last things a species sees before it disappears forever, -21 and three staff votes. Calibri Bold has volunteered a rewrite; needs permission from author
Dr Glowacki.
Feedback ported:
Sounds like just a case of great idea, but poor execution.
SCP-5489 summarily deleted with aismallard witnessing after the article was improperly deleted by its author.
SCP-5222 is a box that has a random food item in it every 2 hours. The food items are designated SCP-5222-1. If SCP-5222-1 is consumed, the consumer will be teleported into a maze of unknown size. The maze does not shift in layout so marking the route is advised. It is believed an unknown entity stalks anyone that enters the maze and kills them silently.
Deleted at -23 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
Here's some crit so you know why you're getting deleted:
Format:
You have a few minor errors such as skipping lines between categories and forgetting capital letters in some cases.
Special Containment Procedures:
How is this box being held by the Foundation? You only describe testing.
Description:
The third sentence is very clunky, to be frank.
The fourth sentence and the list of items don't belong in the Description.
Please be more descriptive with this "unknown entity." It just is at the time being.
Addenda:
WHY DID YOU INCLUDE THEM IF YOU DIDN'T FILL THEM OUT? Seriously, it's just a let-down.
Overall, you have a LOT of work to do, especially since you barely did any to start with. Here's some links to help you write a better article next time:
Also, try using the Writing Help forums. Start with the Ideas Critique one, then the Draft Critique one after two greenlights, then upload.
Please, get some help. This community is more than willing to guide you, but you need to listen if you want to improve as an author.
SCP-5142 is a sword with unidentifiable markings running along the length of the blade. The hilt of SCP-5142 is constructed from iron, but the material of the blade is unknown. The shape of SCP-5142 changes based on who touches it, with recorded instances including varying types of swords, spears, and axes. Regardless of the form, SCP-5142 maintains its material makeup and markings.
Deleted at -19 and three votes.
SCP-5076 is a Texas Instruments 184 standard model calculator, found and secured by Foundation Personnel in [REDACTED] High School in 09/██/201█. [REDACTED] High School and SCP-5076 came under the Foundation’s attention after an incident in 09/██/201█ in which a classroom had to be quarantined for biohazards after SCP-5076’s battery imploded. Later tests confirmed that the battery imploded due to a calculation made by a student.
Deleted at -26 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
I can see a rewrite of this working pretty well. I'd recommend looking more closely at the posting section of How To Write An SCP (your title is currently incorrect), and review the relevant guides on crosslinking and expungement.
There are a couple issues with the presentation here, but the thing that bothered me most was the ending. Having an article end in an expungement is a valid choice, but given all the narrative threads the story's accumulated at that point (the scientific progress the Foundation is making, the doctor's obsession with the device, and his self-harming tendencies), it comes off as totally unsatisfying.
Won't lie, you've definitely got something here.
Reading the associate begin to lose his mind over the calculator towards the bottom was pretty amusing. But the article is plagued by plenty of mathematical, structural, and similar errors that it isn't worth upvoting, or novoting.
-1 from me, but definitely do see the resources.
SCP-5045 are four kittens named SCP-5045 1-4 and commonly called as quartz, sapphire, emerald and topaz respectively by the facility members. SCP-5045 are white kittens of ages around 12 to 15 weeks identical to each other, the only defining features being the colours of their eyes, SCP-5045 1-4 have eyes of colours grey, yellow, green, and blue.SCP-5045 exhibit behaviour similar to that of a kitten. SCP-5045 tend to spend most of their time sleeping and rarely leave the cattery.
Deleted at -16 and three votes.
SCP-5151 is a crude ball made from old t-shirt scraps and table cloths, the base seems to be made of human skin, teeth, and bone marrow. , inspection concludes that the materials used dated back to ██/██/1815 and contain the DNA of early ████████ it is unknown if it was made, or an anomalous event caused it to materialize, -29 and three staff votes.
SCP-5056 is an adult human male aged [REDACTED] named [REDACTED] who was captured whilst attempting to break into a Foundation Facility upon the pretense of uncovering government experiments. SCP-5056 was subsequently forced into several medical experiments which have resulted in overall loss of sanity, and emotional capability, SCP-5056 has had their temporal lobes removed, resulting in loss of language comprehension and loss of capacity for emotion, -20 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
So, something that stood out to me about this document is that the foundation is acting quite cruel. Even though this man broke in, he would be demoted to d-class or terminated yes, but the actions of the staff seem overly malicious. The story also needs to be more fleshed out, as there isn’t much explanation or nudges to what’s going on in the story, why is he having seizures? Anyways, this has potential but needs work.
Why is the foundation doing this?
if you want to keep this Idea you need to answer this question.
also this idea has kind of been done on a larger scale with scp 5000
SCP-5056 has had their middle, ring and pinky fingers on each hand, due to constant scratching which has annoyed those overseeing his care.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe/Euclid/Keter (indicate which class)
Special Containment Procedures: [Paragraphs explaining the procedures]
Description: [Paragraphs explaining the description]
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
Good luck on writing SCPs!
Why exactly is he considered an anomaly? You didn't tell us anything about him being anomalous, (which is required, as otherwise he wouldn,t be considered an scp). If you are going to rewrite this article you should elaborate on it.
SCP-5262 is the recovered wreckage of MH 370 which was recovered at the bottom of the █████ ████ off the coast of [REDECTED]. At the time, the aircraft was carrying 227 passengers and 12 crew when a Foundation listening post close to █████ picked up a Mayday signal from the flight. Officially, the aircraft disappeared without a trace and no wreckage was ever recovered, -19 and three staff votes. SNOM has volunteered a rewrite. Permission needs to be given by author
Xabier asensio.
The origin of SCP-5096 instances is unknown, and there seems to be an unknown number of instances that are able to appear per retail store, and if the origin of SCP-5096 is discovered it is to be given a Keter classification, and be terminated as soon as possible. SCP-5096 appears to be a pair of large mens sunglasses, with metallic, gray lines on the sides of the frame, and seems to appear in retail stores, with no listed company, or designer, -19 and three staff votes.
SCP-5119 is a bipedal, Caucasian humanoid of Italian descent, roughly 1.8796 meters in height. He is adorned in a jet black ensemble, red tie, polished black boots, and matching pants. Though he claims to have spent “my life’s worth of Euros” on his attire, the lamb skull concealing his face appears to be an extension of his interior and completely natural to his body, -17 and three staff votes.
The origin of SCP-5024 instances is unknown, and there seems to be an unknown number of instances that are able to appear per retail store, and if the origin of SCP-5024 is discovered it is to be given a Keter classification, and be terminated as soon as possible. SCP-5024 appears to be a pair of large mens sunglasses, with metallic, gray lines on the sides of the frame, and seems to appear in retail stores, with no listed company, or designer, -14 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
I think you might have something here, conceptwise, but the wording is very murky in some places
All retail stores that have been reported carrying SCP-5024 are to be tracked and seized by field agents and surrounded by a concrete wall with one containment door, and to be monitored 24/7 by at least 2 field agents .
This sentence is way too long, it really needs to be broken up. theres too many "ands." I just thik the thoughts should be seperated. You may also want to consider name dropping an approriate MTF unit as well instead of nameless field agents.
The origin of SCP-5024 instances is unknown, and there seems to be an unknown number of instances that are able to appear per retail store, and if the origin of SCP-5024 is discovered it is to be given a Keter classification, and be terminated as soon as possible.
By its definition, this already is Keter class. We don't know how many thier are, in how many stores they are, if theres a finite number, how they got into the retial stores. You may wan to review the object class descriptions again. If anything, finding the origin may change it to euclid.
I really like the creepy sunglasses. Its a neat twist on the THEY LIVE kind of trope. I'm very curious about a lot of things you've written! I want to know more about 5024-c. What kind of entities are they? why are they Keter? What do they want? is the XK exitinction a prophecy of our world? Is it visions of another timeline? a lot of this is exciting. I really reccomend you make use the workshop to try and get your idea nailed down a bit more. I feel I have to -1 this, because it doesnt feel like the Foundation. Please don't take it personal, I really want this to become something cool.
Blame It on the Bloom Boys, The sky was clear, birdsong filled the air, and the sweet scent of meadow blossoms wafted through the lanes of the village of Snuggle Acres. Farmer Goodland stepped out of his cottage and beamed almost as brightly as Mister Sun, who he gave a jaunty wave to as he headed out to the field, whistling as he went, -11 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
I feel like there's a broader context to this that I'm not getting, but I still greatly enjoyed it. This text style is annoying to read after a few paragraphs, but I appreciate what you were going for stylistically. After the contest, I'd suggest using some CSS to get a better font in. +1
I'm on the edge about this. No-voting for now.
The basic premise going on (someone uses SCP-674 to kill off fictional characters, only for the fictional characters to come back and attack him/kill him) is solid but I'm not sure what the email has to do with it — was this person also writing fanfic about their murders while they were committing them?
Formating-wise, I think you'd do well to bold < **{{example}}** > your monotype text. I think this helps a lot with the readability.
Prose-wise, this is pretty good — there's a few hiccups, a few mistakes — I'll point out a few briefly:
Farmer Goodland strode merrily over to the hat and picked it up. His cheerful face returned to the puzzled expression from of a few moments before.
Farmer Goodland stepped out of his cottage and beamed almost as brightly as Mister Sun, who he gave a jaunty wave to as he headed out to the field, whistling as he went.
Given the content, I understand you want it to be sweet and saccharine, but this is a bit much: Cutting this sentence down a bit would make it punchier.
Farmer Goodland stepped out of his cottage, then beamed and waved to Mister Sun. He headed out to the field, whistling as he went.
But Farmer Goodland didn’t hear that, or the shot that blew his own hat, as well as his head and most of his upper torso, all over Mister Scarecrow and half the field.
Considering this is the climactic moment of the piece, the numerous clauses slow it down — when it ought to pack more of a punch.
But Farmer Goodland didn't hear that. He also didn't hear the shot that blew his own hat — along with his head and most of his upper torso — all over Mister Scarecrow.
I hope some of this is useful. Good luck with the contest!
(notes from the author)
@Blackfluidexv Thanks!
@PeppersGhost
There’s a little bit of broader context, but not much. I’m going to get into that below.
I agree on the font, and if this survives the contest voting period I will do a different one, or at least bold it like The Great Hippo mentioned.
@The Great Hippo
I’m not really sure what’s considered too much editing during the contest vote, but I will implement some of the things you suggest after if this survives.
In the article the range in responses that animated shows had to 674 ranged from Looney Tunes style covered in soot to [DATA EXPUNGED], so I went for a ‘more saccharine the show, the more ‘realistic’ the reaction. I saw Snuggle Acres as a 80s/ 90s-PSA at the end type show, which is why I had the little fire safety moment as the retribution.
A little background, and why the fanfic:
Several years ago, I was a sort of junior level mod (I could remove problem content from posts and report it, but I couldn’t suspend/ban etc) on a message board for a kids show. There was discussion, fanfic, fanart, etc. Because it was a kids’ show, the people who originated the forum decided that they wanted the forums to be as ‘all-ages’ as possible. So we were on the lookout for language, ‘adult’ topics, excessive violence, and so on. The rule of thumb was “Can you actually ever see this happening on the show?” Wiggle room for stuff like crossovers and AUs, of course.
(There was actually surprisingly little trolling or intentionally out there content, usually it was someone pushing the rather nebulous boundaries, and one of the mods going “eh, bit too far.” Most people were ok with it; there were rare suspensions and even rarer bans. : ) It was a slightly more innocent time.)
Anyway, spinning off the ‘would this happen on the show’ concept, for a user of SCP-674, yes, because it just did as far as he knows, since part of the effect of the zapper is that the continuity whatever it’s used on is permanently different for the user. That was my starting point, So as far as our guy is concerned, all the characters he blew away are dead, and since in the show, the Bloom Boys tend to be behind everything, they got blamed, at least at first. His fanfic spun off from that. He’d been just a troll in the past, hence his suspension, but now he’s totally justified. After all, it just happened on the show, he saw it.
In a rewrite, I can rework the email to include on the ‘only if it could happen on the show’ part. Make that the focus. I wound up sorta short-cutting myself due to the time limit nature of the contest.
SCP-5061 is a complex form of an unknown substance that forms through openings in space and time. The substance is a rare material that still has yet to be officially identified. It is difficult to contain the substance due to the fact that it is formed by openings in space and time (also known as rifts) and can transport itself through reality. Traits of SCP-5061 are unknown at the moment and SCP-5061 is currently thought to be lethal, -22 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Tone is unprofessional, conprocs go before description, dont have the unofficial name inside the article. aside from all that, it's just some stuff that makes you age more and turns your blood purple. there's not much substance to the article.
so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
From the 404 page that you used to post this article:
Remember: The main site is for summary judgment of final work, not feedback and critique on unfinished work.
To improve your SCPs, generally speaking, read the guides and get feedback.
Now, despite the above, I'm gonna break this down. Specifically speaking.
Article Critique
Right off the bat, you have tone issues. I'll bold and correct things that feel particularly weird.
Currently SCP-5061 has no indefinite containment procedure which can hold it for any sustaining period of time. At the moment the only way to contain SCP-5061 is through using specialized containment tubes. If not carefully watched (Would it escape anyway, or would watching just let us know when it did?) SCP-5061 can materialize itself out of the tube ("Can teleport out of containment") and seek out any living organisms within a one-hundred-meter radius. If this were ("Is": The procedures are present tense.) to happen any nearby areas with a significant population will be asked to be evacuated. ("Be evacuated." The Foundation has authority over this. Or better, keep it away from all populations. Middle of the desert. A hundred meters isn't that big.)
If a living organism is needed to be contained ("Must be contained") in thoughts of contamination, the organism must be immediately transported to a secure holding facility with no openings in the containment unit with exceptions to ones that provide Oxygen, H₂O or any other need material to sustain life. In no cases should an infected specimen be eliminated for any reason. (Why? It's Keter, we can barely contain it.) If the specimen is deemed to be hostile, it must be properly contained within a holding cell that is properly sealed with the above requirements.
Keter class SCPs are very hard to do well, because it's really easy to make them overpowered without giving a real story. I think this gives a general impression on that point, so I'll jump ahead:
…oh, the article ends a couple of paragraphs later.
So you have tone issues. Relevant guide: Clinical Tone Declassified. People might look past that if not for the other problem:
There's no narrative. SCP-005 has no narrative, but that's from a long time ago. Users these days usually come looking for a story disguised as a document about a magic thing, not just a document about a magic thing. Relevant guide: An exercise in narrative based SCPs. In general: Read the guides, please. They're all there for a reason.
SCP-5226 is a skinny, gray, humanoid creature that measures 1.9304 meters in height. Subject shows a prominent lack of muscle mass, as if it was sliced off its body. Arms, legs, torso and fingers seem stretched way out of proportion. Skin condition suggests rot and decay. Mouth and lower jaw are inhumanly small compared to its head size. Large, empty eye sockets, though it retained its eyelids. Signs of very minimal body hair, like peach fuzz all over the body, -19 and three staff votes.
SCP-5041, The Specimen will appear on many sites and apps as ads and links, if clicked, the virus will start to infect the hosts computer. The computer will then be turned off, once the host turns the computer back on, the specimen will then suck the host into the hosts computer. The host will bodyless and mindless, and feel excess amounts of ██████, -18 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Im just gonna reply with what I put on your crit page however I am going to draw attention to the fact that you didn't even follow the new format and simply pasted your draft there and didn't follow my crit advice and also got your page deleted by zyn
Anyways here's the feedback
Editing this, I've only just realized you put a designation in there, you really shouldn't do that because if/when you post it that spot might be taken up.
You should never call an SCP anything other than its designation, even than what you name it in the series page. This is mainly for standardization purposes. Speaking of which, you should probably give the victims a designation instead of calling them the 'host'
Specimen can not be contained as it is only found inside the internet. It can however, be provented by using a military-grade anti-virus software.
Don't say that the SCP can't be contained and then state how a breach can be prevented, prevention of a breach is the whole reason Special Containment Procedures are there in the first place. Take 682 for example, the foundation can't contain it per se, but it tries to prevent the severity of it, and casualties because of 682. What do you mean by "military-grade anti-virus software," there's no grade of how good an anti-virus is, only how much it protects you.
The Specimen has been known to easily bypass normal anti-viruses, and will still infect the computer it is on.
You should pretty much never state why something has to be so good in the Special Containment Procedures, once again, like many before me, I'm gonna use the breach scenario. Imagine you are part of the team monitoring SCP-XXXX, and a breach occurs, you look at the procedures and it's only filled with someone ranting about why something needs to be this and not that, meanwhile the security guard is screaming because the SCP has breached and they're trying to see what in the ever-loving-fuck, to do. After half an hour they give up, accepts their fate, all while cursing out some researcher because they filled the procedures with a rant
The host will bodyless and mindless, and feel excess amounts of [REDACTED].
You shouldn't say bodyless and mindless, because bodyless isn't a real word. In fact, you can just combine it by saying
After this, the host will die instantaneously and the body will anomalously disappear.
Additionally, how would the foundation know of what the person feels after they died? (P.S. "feel excess amounts of [REDACTED]" just makes it sound like you are trying to make it more mysterious, even though the reader already knows what word it is.)
Also, you've missed many commas here, and I suggest you run it through some grammar checking program (Doesn't matter which, honestly just put it in word, right click the words and paste it back in.).
The text box near the bottom should probably be put in an interview format, instead of just placing it in the text.
Normally I'm all for calling an SCP by different names, but just simply calling it "The Specimen", is a little… odd. I found it a little hard to read because of it, but that might just be me.
SCP-5990 looks like a normal rock with a magnet taped to one side of SCP-5990. SCP-5990 is harmful to people. SCP-5990 was found at ███████, America. SCP-5990 was found surrounded by 3 human corpses, all of them had injuries on there heads. SCP-5990 was found with blood on one of its corners. After a test the blood matched the blood of the 3 corpses that were surrounding SCP-5990 on its discovery. Several years later after SCP-5990 was contained it was used in the death of a Class D. During the first test involving SCP-5990 a Class D was told to enter SCP-5990's containment and pick up SCP-5990.
Deleted at -21 and three votes.
SCP-5904 is a vampire-like creature that is capable of Flight. SCP-5904 is as of unknown age,247 centimeters tall and weighs approximately 90 kilograms. SCP-XXXXX's anomalous effect is capable of controlling people to his own will through tasting his Victim's blood.
Deleted at -24 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
This feels…kinda unfinished but also like it's mostly just a description of vampirism played extremely straight with nothing else to it?
Like, you didn't write any ConProcs and you have an incident that's 8 words long? So it really feels like this needed a) fleshed out a lot more and b) some kind of subversion or interesting exploration of what it can do or something like that.
I recommend you get some conceptual critique in the Ideas Critique forum (remember to use the template!) or the IRC chatrooms and like, really use that to flesh out what you wanna do with this.
The idea itself is very short and cliche. The vampire trope with nothing new or interesting just makes it feel boring. Other than the problems with the anomaly itself, there are no ConProcs present in any fashion and asking for feedback in the article itself is not how you're supposed to get critique there's many on site resources to flesh out an idea and get draft critique before you post the article. I hope you take these concerns into account.
-1
SCP-5023
This SCP appears as a Nintendo 64 with the body of the system being a light gray colour. The 5023 is plugged in SCP 5023-B. That SCP is a small box television that completely grey all around, it shows no interesting quality other than it needs no electricity to properly work. It is 'self-run.'
Upon entering 5023 chambers and seeing the SCP the subject is attracted to the game system.
Deleted at -14 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
First: you made this without permission or greenlighting. Thats bad, mmkay?
Second:the description is uneventful and wrong format-wise, you need to explain what SCP-A/B/C is before explaining what they do with/without each other.
Third: I get this is just mario on the n64 except mario= dead family member, it's pretty mundane to me.
Fourth: The interview you use the names of the interviewer/interviewed. not "ranking" and "interviewer. And the interview desc. should be more descriptive
Fifth(ist): This article should not have three periods in a series, it makes the scp article seem like a tale instead,
Finally: that last 'paragraph' before the interview shouldn't be there if there's no other mention of a girl whispering
SCP-5027 is a Nocturnal, carnivorous human. SCP-5027 is 142 centimeters tall and weigh's 60 kg. SCP-5027 has dark-brownish eyes, brown skin, brown teeth, and a horrible smell. SCP-5027 possesses a small nose and large hands used for slapping his prey.
Deleted at -42 and three votes.
SCP-5028
Scp 5028 is a Euclid class SCP with the origins of being killed after serving to be a d class being terminated and didn't die.
Deleted at -31 and three votes.
SCP-5173-A appears to be a traditional acrylic paint pallet with three paints present resembling the primary colours. However, when a human approaches the pallet they enter an agitated state and proceed to completely cover themselves in all three colours from the pallet, and during this time the object appears to have a limitless supply of paint. It is also noted that direct eye contact with the pallet may expand or even bring on this state [see incident 1-A]. After covering themselves with the paint like substance, the victim will then become ridged as the substance hardens around them stopping any struggle. After this process the victim becomes an instance of SCP-5173-2 and will be hostile to any humans within close proximity. These forms are highly dangerous due to their tough shell which can protect them from small arms fire and allows them to overpower average human strength. These forms are to be terminated quickly using the sledgehammers supplied in the security office.
Deleted at -12 and three votes.
SCP-5047 is a half monster half robot programmed to kill. SCP-5047 was found in the endless corridors
-no data yet on the corridors- SCP-5047 is a western style robot with extreme fire accuracy. SCP-5047 will kill anything in its path tests show signs of toxic radiation we now use hazmat suits for safety.
SCP-5047 is very aggressive and in not harmed by extreme electricity, this will only make it stronger.
SCP-5047 has two six shooter revolvers and has little to no reload time. also thought to have a toxic radiation, will slowly kill any one in a 13 meter radius, or so beloved by our scientists. this is all our info on SCP-5047stand by for more info
Deleted at -23 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
I am downvoting for the following:
Item #: SCP-5047
Object Class: Euclid
Formatting is inconsistent with the majority of established work.
scp 5047 need a temp of 40 celsius.
Numerous SPaG errors and poor sentence structure.
scp 5047 is a half monster half robot programmed to kill.
Tired trope lolmurder, not interesting.
I don't mean to be rude, but
A room surrounding SCP-5047 has a length and width of 12 meters and 24/7 light.
Don't say that it has, say it like it will. Also, having light 24/7 is a given, why would you feel the need to specify that?
-warning- if power loss scp 5047 will leave immediately
Don't put -warning-, because a government document would never say that, just saying that if power cuts, it will cause a breach and what to do will do just fine.
SCP-5047 is a half monster half robot programmed to kill. SCP-5047 was found in the endless corridors
As MalyceGraves pointed out, this is a little cliche.
SCP-5047 is a western style robot with extreme fire accuracy.
What do you mean by "western-style robot"? There is no specific "western" way to build a robot. You should also specify how much it misses instead of saying it has extreme fire accuracy.
SCP-5047 has two six shooter revolvers and has little to no reload time. also thought to have a toxic radiation, will slowly kill any one in a 13 meter radius, or so beloved by our scientists.
"Little to no reload time" should be replaced by an accurate measure of how fast it takes to reload. "toxic radiation" bruh, radiation causes cancer, which cannot kill you that quickly no matter how concentrated. No I don't know this by heart here is my source because all good scientists must cite their source.
Lastly, as many people pointed out you have many SPaG errors which you should probably correct.
How to write an SCP Please reread it
SCP Cliches P.S.Don't take this list as fact
How to make a cliche better
Clinical vs. Complex
Your SCPs journey Read the three parts man
Overall I'm sorry to say, but its downvote from me sry.
-1
SCP-5405 is a forest in ███████ County Oregon, the area is filled with large pools and geysers filled with a substance appearance similar to honey yet the consistency is similar to water. These geysers are designated SCP-5405-1.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
SCP-5559 is an entity, approximately three(3) meters tall. It is composed completely of iron.SCP-5559 can change several properties of his body, some of them are mass, form, density and state.
SCP-5559 is sapient and has the ability. It displays a high knowledge of mechanical engineering,(which uses with facility thanks to the ability of "getting into a machine" or part of it to fix it), and it also shows knowledge and liking of general music. It appears SCP-5559has a moral code, in which he states that no person should die, that those who have committed crimes should be en-jail and that every intelligent species and or individual should be treated equally.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
SCP-5045 is a television show that appears every 3-6 months on major infomercial channels for 1 hour to 1 hour and 30 minutes. SCP-5045-1 appears to be a blue-eyed, dirty-blonde haired caucasian male in it's late 30's. SCP-5045-1 appears by springing from the bottom of the television screen after about 30 seconds of logos that read "Dr. Late's Amazing Vabaife.", -14 and three staff votes.
(account deleted)
